SMOSH EXPEDITION: The Golden Flamingo (Book Four)
by MiGZ21
Summary: Being mistaken as the city's best archaeologists, Ian and Anthony were tasked by the curator of the Los Angeles Museum to go on a quest for the 'Golden Flamingo', an ancient treasure that had been missing since the 12th century. The duo, seeing the offer as an opportunity to go on another crazy adventure, gladly accepted. Join them in their FOURTH EPIC ADVENTURE!
1. Intro Book Four: THE DORKS ARE BACK

**SMOSH EXPEDITION: The Golden Flamingo**

 ** _It has been quite a while since Ian and Anthony had a crazy adventure, an adventure through time and space that threatened their channel's existence and their own as well. They returned to their normal and boring lives of writing and shooting videos. They were wishing for it to happen again._**

 ** _Wish granted._**

 ** _Being mistaken as the city's best archaeologists, the duo were tasked by the head curator of the Los Angeles Museum to go on a quest for the 'Golden Flamingo', an ancient treasure that had been missing since the 12th century. The duo, seeing the offer as an opportunity to go on another crazy adventure, gladly accepted._**

 ** _Join them in this brand new story that will keep you at the edge of your seat!_**

* * *

Hey there old friends and new readers! As explained, this is the **_FOURTH_ _,_ _FULL-LENGTH SMOSH FANFIC_** that I'll be writing, and it will be taking place in the universe of my **SMOSH (BLANK) TIME TRILOGY ** but won't continue the epic three-part story arc it created. Instead, it will be a **_new adventure_ ** for these dorks. So you can skip reading the TRILOGY.

 **Will they find the treasure before the bad guys do?**

 **Will their lie be exposed?**

 **Will Ian ever remember to put on his pants? (He probably won't.)**

So read on and enjoy!

-Migz


	2. Chapter One - A New Adventure

**Anthony Padilla**

I sat on the couch of my apartment, watching the Los Angeles skyline turn dark and the lights from the buildings flicker on. It was the end of another day, a busy and boring day of shooting videos and going on press tours to promote _Smosh: The Movie._

Being a YouTuber nowadays is tough, now that we have a big movie and the channel's growing and expanding. Everyday we were extremely busy, squeezing our brains out for video ideas, now that we have another series called 'Every Blank Ever', releasing every other Tuesday.

Even though we always had help from the new Smosh Crew 2.0 consisting of Olivia, Keith, Noah, Courtney and Shayne, life will never be the same as it was last year.

 _I wish that one day I could get away from the business, go on a vacation or something._

Things haven't been quite as exciting as it was a few months ago, especially that time when we had to travel back in time because someone has been messing with our past. And not only did we go back but once, we went back THRICE.

Yeah, we had gone on three mind-numbing and epic adventures that had us fighting for ours and Smosh's existence. Ian's family really has some issues, he has a psychotic twin brother who tried to put an end to our channel twice.

Reminiscing those events brought a tear to my eye, those were the craziest yet the best things that ever happened to me, aside from getting internet famous.

I remember the part when I had to throw pee bombs at Sgt. Anous when they were chasing us because Ian was wanted in the whole state of California.

Also the part when I had to save my best friend from the cops when he was caught. Come to think of it, kinda resembles _Back to the Future Part II's_ climax where Marty was chased down by Biff inside a tunnel only for Marty to be saved by Doc Brown in the same manner I did with Billy and Ian.

But what made me miss going through it all the most was _The Battle of Smosh_ , everyone in the Smosh crew were united as one, fighting against the Empire led by Adrian. It was the part that made my inner child squeal with excitement. We used _Food Battle: The Game's_ weapons to fend off Mutant Donuts that were brought to life by the evil overlord.

But now I think Adrian had calmed his head and they were now peacefully living in Ian's new home here in the city, they had moved in a few months ago so shooting videos wouldn't be a hassle for both of us like last time.

I made my way to the kitchen and fixed myself dinner, ate like there's no tomorrow then got ready for bed. I laid down on the soft mattress and stared at the ceiling, still unable to get those images out of my head: those epic explosions, over the top, cinematically executed battles and outrageous stunts. Plus the part where I almost had Ian's mom to myself, damn Ian always had to interrupt the moment.

I shuffled and noticed a wooden pencil-like stick illuminated by the desk lamp on my bed side table. It had a wooden ball on one end. I observed it, it was my old _Green Rock Candy Lightsaber._

"Those were the days." I sighed, still letting my imagination wander about until my eyes slowly closed.

 _Tomorrow is another day._

* * *

My phone suddenly rang. I sat up groggily and winced at the bright sunlight that went through the large glass panels of my apartment. I reached for my phone on my bedside table.

Ian Hecoccyx

Calling...

I rolled my eyes, tired of doing the same thing over and over again, "Another day, another video to shoot." I answered it, "Hello?" My morning voice said.

 _"Hey bro, we need to be on our shoot today as early as possible."_ Ian spoke.

"What video shoot?" I replied, "What are you talking about?"

 _"We have to shoot a new video for our channel."_

"What channel?"

 _"Did you hit your head or something?"_ Ian said, _"Our Smosh channel."_

"Ian, what's a Smosh?" I held back laughter.

Ian paused, _"Is something wrong again? Did someone mess up the past again?"_

"I'm just kidding!" I chuckled, "But man, I want to go back in time, experience it again."

 _"I know, me too."_ Ian sighed again, _"But it's all behind us, we gotta move on. And oh yeah, George Zazz is calling in sick today so I'm gonna fill in for him."_

"George? Our ' _Teens in the Wild_ ' host?" I asked.

" _Yeah, the dude who sounds like Bear Grylls_. _Now hurry up, we gotta get there, I'm on my way to my car."_ He urged.

I lazily rose from my bed, "I don't know why, but I'm not kinda feeling like myself today."

 _"Why?"_

"I-I don't know, I mean, life's pretty boring now."

 _"What do you mean? We have our very own movie, our very own wax sculptures and we have the fame and recognition. Come to think of it, our lives are anything but boring."_

"Dude, I know, but I feel like it lacks the magic." I replied, "It's all about promote this, promote that, there's no more thrill."

 _"Dude, don't worry, when this hype dies down, the crew will have a week off."_

I sighed, "Fine, I'll be right there."

 _"Alright, now don't be late."_

"Oh, and Ian? Look down and lift your shirt." I said flatly, smirking a bit.

 _"GODDAMMIT! WHY DO I ALWAYS FORGET MY PANTS?!"_ Ian ranted from the other side followed by the sound of running footsteps _, "Stupid writer with the same and overused 'losing my pants' joke!"_

"Classic Ian." I laughed before hanging up. I drove to our main office, _Defy Media_ , formerly named _Alloy Digital_ before they partnered with _Break Media._ It was the very company that was taken over by Adrian back in November. I walked to the front door and Sgt. Anous and his partner, Sgt. Jasshol, opened the door for me.

"Hey, Anthony!" Anous greeted.

"'Sup, Anous!" I high fived him before making my way to the lobby. I was greeted by the large lobby that had chrome painted walls and carpets on the ground. There was a large staircase at the center leading to the second floor where the offices were. In front of me was the giant fountain that had the company's name at the center made of metal:

 _DEFY MEDIA_

Kinda weird not seeing the 'Alloy Digital' logo.

As I was walking, brief flashbacks came to my mind: I remembered Connor taking out the goon on the balcony with his bow, Link wrestling down the guard and George Washington pistol whipping another. Then the part when Link and I were running from the donuts and then taught me how to drive a stick shift. That was crazy.

Someone tapped my shoulder, "Hey, lost in thought?" I turned around and it was Ian, still had his outdated bowl haircut that somehow still manages to make the fangirls swoon.

"Yeah." I said, "Remember that time when we burst in here like crazy assholes?"

Ian laughed, "Oh yeah, why wouldn't I remember that? That was epic."

"Somehow I wish there'll be some other adventure waiting for us."

"I have to agree on that, but as of now, we have to go on with our boring and busy lives." He frowned.

"You got that right, even though we're on top of the worldwide web, I think we need to get away from it once in a while."

Ian smiled and nodded.

"You getting what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, like some getaway vacation-slash-escapade?" His eyes twinkled.

"Exactly." Ian and I were on the same page, "Normal is boring."

* * *

We stepped inside the studio wearing some explorer-type clothes, ready to tape another Smosh video called, it's about George Zazz talking about the different types of fans based on their level of obsessiveness on us.

We stepped inside the studio wearing some explorer-type clothes, ready to tape another Smosh video called, _'Smoshers in the Wild',_ it's about George Zazz talking about the different types of fans based on their level of obsessiveness on us.

We shot the video and finished well before sunset, "And- That's a wrap!" Ryan Todd said through his megaphone.

The crew began packing their stuff, we were done for the day. The only thing left to do is the editing of the video which usually takes about three weeks to complete.

Then my stomach rumbled, "Hey Ian, wanna go to Taco Bell to grab something to eat?" I asked.

"Hell yeah." He smiled, rubbing his belly.

"We gotta get out of these clothes first, these short shorts are killing me." I did a subtle wedgie pick, my butt cheeks have been eating on my underwear and the explorer shorts were shorter compared to what the real explorers would usually wear.

"Nah, we'll deal with that later, right now I'm hungry as fuck." My friend insisted. I agreed and we drove there in Ian's car.

The streetlights of L.A. were on, the sun was no longer in sight, it was another day coming to an end. We decided to make a ' _Lunchtime with Smosh_ ' even though it was nighttime.

I took out my phone and started recording, "What's up, guys? I think it's another time for Lunchti-er, Dinnertime with Smosh! Right Ian?" I pointed the camera to my friend.

"Oh yeah." Ian used his free hand in jiggling his belly, "Little, little Gordo is hungry, he needs some nutrition." He talked in a baby way.

"Right now we're gonna have the usual, Taco Bell!" I cheered and so did Ian.

We parked the car a few feet away from the fast food joint. I pointed the camera back at me, "So we're now here! We-"

"Help!" Someone screamed outside making us turn that way, it was _Billy Hamburger_ , the weird boy with the propeller hat and the same heroic dude who had saved us countless times. He was running towards us and away from a group of guys, in his hand was a piece of yellow scroll that looked ancient. He tried spinning his propeller hat but it wouldn't turn on.

"Get back here, you imbecile!" They yelled. They were furious at the boy, seemed like Billy had done something really bad to them.

 _Billy always gets into trouble._

"It's ours!" Charlie's raspy British voice erupted from the boy's pocket.

"Looks like they're in some sort of trouble." I asked, "Should we help them?"

Ian started up the car, "Nope, we're getting the fuck outta here." He said.

"Seriously?" I beamed at him.

"I'm joking, of course we will, he saved us a bunch of times." Ian shrugged, "Why not return the favor?"

"Attaboy." I rolled down the window and watched Billy hide behind a dumpster, letting the chasers lose sight of him before calling his attention, "Billy, hey!" I called.

The boy turned around, "Hey guys!" His propeller hat spun, "Funny seeing you here."

"Oi poofs!" Charlie greeted.

"Hop in, looks like you two are in a heap of trouble." I motioned for them to get in our car. Without any hesitation, Billy ran towards us and dove in the backseat.

"Get down." Ian pushed Billy down on the ground concealing him from the passing dudes who were searching for them. After evading them, we drove away from the place, "You owe me an explanation and a full dinner." Ian shook his head in disbelief.

"Look at this." Billy unrolled the scroll he was holding earlier. It was a large scroll that showed the entire map of Los Angeles depicted in the 12th century with the illustration showing mountains and small houses instead of the present day skyscrapers the city now has. Located on the Hollywood Hills where the large Hollywood sign was a drawing of a mysterious bird shaped gem with a word written under it:

THE GOLDEN FLAMINGO

"What the heck is this?" Ian asked, stopping the car at an alleyway and taking a look closer, "The Golden Flamingo." He read.

"Why did you take this from them?" I spoke up.

"Charlie told me to." The boy replied and we all looked at the guinea pig in his pocket.

"Is that true, Charlie?" We both beamed at the guinea pig.

"Hey, I was just asked by the city's curator to retrieve this for her in exchange for booze." The pet spoke up.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "The things you would do for booze."

There was a slight pause until Ian spoke up again, "So, we should return it now?" Charlie nodded, "Where?"

* * *

The night was getting darker as we parked in front of the City Museum, the place being deserted and all since it was well past the closing time. There were only a few spotlights on, shining at the large letters attached on the center:

 _LOS ANGELES MUSEUM_

We stepped out of our car and with Billy taking the lead, going around the structure. On the side of the building was a door where the boy led us to.

"In here." Billy opened the door and with little effort we were inside.

"How the hell did we end up here?" Ian asked, "We were supposed to be filming right now." I felt his annoyance that it should have been just a normal day for us.

Billy kept walking until we reached the lobby where a large fossilized skeleton of a Tyrannosaurus rex was at the center, placed there to lure curious children. To our right were the main doors. The place was enormous, the walls were made of marble, its interior design was based off of the Greeks with its Corinthian styled pillars made to give the guests the sense of wonder about the history of the world.

"Hello? Miss Ackerman?" Billy called out. It was followed by a set of footsteps.

Ian scoffed, "'Miss Ackerman'? Her name sounds like the typical old lady who probably lives alone all by herself and is all pruney and crusty." We looked to the person approaching.

Our jaws dropped.

The Ms. Ackerman we were expecting was the exact opposite of what she actually looked like: she had long wavy scarlet hair, full pouting lips and mesmerizing green eyes. She was wearing a formal office dress which showed off her sexy curves.

"Who are you calling old?" She smiled and we were just standing there our eyes widened and mouth hanging open.

"I-I'm s-sorry." Ian stuttered, "I-I'm Anthony and this one's Ian. I mean, He's Anthony and I'm Ian."

She reached out her hand, I shoved my friend away and took it first, "N-Nice to meet you, Ms. Ackerman." I nervously smiled.

"Please, call me Sidney." She smiled and shook my hand, and I just smiled back, but I was lost in her stare. Ian also shook her hand and he was just as awestruck as I was.

"So, you're the explorers Billy was talking about?" She asked. Ian and I exchanged looks of confusion, only to notice that we were still wearing our costumes.

"Uh, no Miss, they were just-" I quickly covered Billy's mouth silencing him.

"Hell yeah, we're the explorers." Ian boasted, putting his hands on his waist and smiling wider than usual, "Another adventure awaits." He looked at me and I grinned back, we were thinking of the same thing: A brand new adventure that will take us away from the normal life at least for the meantime. It was a wish come true, and the biggest bonus is that we would be with a super hot sexy lady.

"Come with me, we have some matters to discuss about that scroll Billy's holding." She pointed to the artifact.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I cheered, "Let's go!"

* * *

 **So there goes the first chapter, what do you guys think?  
**

 **Personally, I think it's probably not as good as the trilogy, but since it's a Standalone Book, it will deviate from the series.**

 **-Migz**


	3. Chapter Two - The Expedition Begins

**Ian Hecox**

Just what we needed, a little break from our daily lives. We were both getting sick and tired of doing the same shit over and over again. We thought today would just be another day.

But we were so wrong.

I was glad that we helped Billy and Charlie, and in doing so led us to where we are now, standing in front of this hot and sexy goddess who thinks we're explorers that will help her in finding this weird treasure, little did she know that we're not, so let's just keep it a secret, shall we?

She was an absolute doll, and did I mention that she was hot?

Sidney Ackerman is her name, the head curator of the L.A. Museum. She led us through a hallway with velvet carpet and paintings on each side, "Come, we must hurry, no one must see us." She said.

"I'll follow you wherever you go." I said aloud while watching her booty shake as she walked in those high heels that matched her dress.

"ME WANT BAMBAM!" Anthony suddenly yelled, stopping us in our tracks. We shot a look at him, surprised by his sudden outburst and he suddenly realized that, "I-I mean, uh, Gee, what slam jam dress you got there!"

"Oookay." Sidney said, weirded out, "Thanks?" Then she continued to lead the way,

I rolled my eyes and snickered, "Smooth, Padildo. Real smooth." I said. My friend smiled.

"So you're not gonna need us anymore, right?" Billy spoke up, frowning. Sidney turned around, her face had sadness etched all over when she looked at the boy.

"Oh no, Billy, we need you." I cut in before she was able to speak, "We need him, Ms. Ackerman."

"Y-you do?" The boy's eyes sparkled.

"Don't you remember the Battle? You were always there to save the day." Anthony added, "-You and Charlie."

"YAAAY! This day just keeps getting better and better!" Billy hugged both of us.

"Very well." Sidney nodded as we approached the elevator, she pressed the up button and we waited. A couple of seconds later, the large metal door slid open, there was a person inside, an old man wearing grey coveralls, holding a long mop with the mop in a yellow bucket of water. "Good evening, Lloyd." She greeted.

"Ms. Ackerman! Still woking overtime, have we?" The old man glanced at us and fixed his small round glasses on his nose, "-and who are these fine looking gentlemen?"

Anthony scoffed, "There's nothing fine about this bowl-haired doofus beside me." He joked.

"At least I'm not the dude with a butt shaped nose!" I fought back, sticking out my tongue at him.

Sidney rolled her eyes, "These are the people I told you about." She winked.

"You're gonna look for it now?" The janitor asked, walking out of the elevator.

"Oh yeah." She stepped inside, "-talk to you later, Lloyd." She waved goodbye and the old man did the same. She turned to us "Hey? What are you doing out there? Come on." She motioned us to get in. But we both stood there awestruck, did I ever tell you guys that she's hot?

We snapped out of it and rushed inside, Billy waved goodbye also at the old janitor, "Bye, Mr. Lloyd, I love the headset!" He said. Lloyd waved again as the doors slid close. Them the lame elevator music began playing, we stood there in silence while the levels counted upward. I was still thinking of something to talk about with the smokin' hot curator but I was too shy to speak, and by the looks of it, Anthony also looked like he wanted to make a move on Sidney.

"Hey, is it odd to think that Lloyd looks a little bit like your old landlord?" Billy turned to Anthony and I.

"Well, someone's dad needs some explaining to do." I joked.

"Seriously, he looks a lot like him." The bot claimed but then brushed it off afterwards.

"Where's my booze?" Charlie popped out from the boy's pocket, "C'mon, where is it?"

"You'll get your booze later when we get to my office." She said while patting the guinea pig's head.

"I wish I was that guinea pig." Anthony whispered.

"Me too." I nodded and frowned. We watched the floor display stop on the fourth level. Then the doors opened, there were no longer exhibits in the place, it appeared to be like a lounge-slash-library or something, there were a few soft couches and a couple of bookshelves, complete with a coffee vending machine.

"Does anyone have a quarter?" Billy asked, searching his pockets only to find no spare change.

"To my office, guys." She said and we followed her, making a left turn once we stepped out of the lift, leading us into a more crowded hallway compared to the ones before. There was a large wooden door at the end with amazing woodwork done on it. The curator twisted the golden knob and pushed the enormous door open, revealing an even bigger library inside, the bookshelf inside was really high, one must use a ladder to get the books up top. In the center of the place was a large glass table with wooden feet and a beige semi circle couch.

"A couch!" Billy squeaked before running to the sofa and diving head first into the seat. He bounced off the moment he hit it, falling painfully on the floor on his head. We tried our best to not laugh.

"Now please, have a seat Ian and Anthony." She motioned us to her sofa where we slowly sat like high-class British people, crossing our legs in a way that is squeezed my nuts together.

"So, what are we going to look for?" Anthony spoke up.

Sidney locked the main door then closed all the curtains, "This is for your eyes only." She looked at us with seriousness on her face, "No one must know of this." We just nodded, "Very well." She went to the center of the bookshelf and climbed up a metal ladder specially built for a colossal shelf.

Me and Anthony hurriedly stood up and went to the ladder's foot and watched Sidney go up, hoping for something to see what mystery lies under her skirt... I mean mystery of the treasure. But alas, we didn't see _anything_ special, it was covered by the darkness.

"Ian? Could you please get this?" She extended out a hand with the book in her grasp. I reached for the book and took it to the table. Then the curator descended then suddenly lost her footing on one of the rungs, "Whoa!" She fell backwards, Anthony quickly leapt for her and caught her in his arms, gasping the moment he got her.

"That was a close one." Anthony laughed, looking straight into her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes that twinkled. Her mouth slightly hung open, they were lost in each other's stares. I watched them turn red.

"I-uh, thanks." She stuttered while she was gently put down. She fixed her creased dress and walked back to the table.

I approached my friend, seeing him blushing, "You got lucky."

"It's all in the hair." Anthony took off his explorer hat then flipped his hair even though not a single strand moved.

"Not without your emo hair." I mocked.

Anthony frowned, "I kinda miss it though." He sighed, "That long glorious bangs running down the side of my face, that straight and shiny hair and the overall emo look."

"Why did you cut it though?" I asked.

"I think it had gone stale, since I've been having that look for ten years." He shrugged, "It'll have to go eventually."

"Ha!" I gloated, "The ladies love this bowl hair!" I also took off my hat, gently ran my fingers through my bread head before going a little flip.

"HUUURRRGGGLLLL!" Billy suddenly gagged, we turned around to see him with his face inside a small trash bin. The boy's face looked at us, it was a shade of green, his lips had a long goatee-like saliva dripping from it and same goes for his nose, "D-did Ian flip his hair again?" He dizzyingly stuttered. Anthony faced me with an insulting smile, I just rolled my eyes.

"Boys! Over here." Sidney was standing next to the table with the scroll laid out. We approached her and surrounded the map, "The Golden Flamingo, a treasure that had been lost since the twelfth century." She turned the book on a page that showed an artist's rendition of the said treasure. It looked like any other flamingoes, but this was colored gold, "Made of solid gold that has mystical powers that is said to grant the owner their deepest and darkest desires." She said with a hint of fear, "-we must get it before it's too late."

"May I ask why?" I said.

"Someone powerful wants to get their hands on it and use it for world domination." Sidney said.

Anthony turned to me, "Did Adrian go batshit crazy again?" He whispered.

"What? No, I think." I shrugged, "Maybe? But wait, how do we know that you're not the bad guy?" I looked at Sidney.

"Me?" She said, "My only concern is to get this in safe hands, or relocate it someplace safe." Sidney beamed at me with an expression of confusion in her, but she really looks kawaii.

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow, "Didn't you watch Indiana Jones 4? The bad guy there is actually a girl, just trying to clear things up."

"Do I look like a villain?" She twirled around.

"Well, typically a girl villain tends to look strikingly beautiful, seductive that will make our penises quiver with delight." Anthony said and Sidney blushed, "Just looking at you we had to cover our crotches with our hats." It was true, we had actually something beneath the hat over our pants.

"How can I prove to you that I'm not the villain?" She groaned in frustration.

"How about a kiss on the lips?" I grinned, attempting to look sexy but instead ending up looking like a retarded gorilla.

Sidney sighed then took a step closer to me with our faces were mere inches from one another, we were both staring into each others eyes, blue to brown. I felt her warm breath brush against my lips in which I took a glance at, her scarlet lips puckered as she gently ran her hand on my beard. I held her lips as we leaned in closer, I closed my eyes and prepared for the best.

Until a hand came crashing into my cheek.

I yelped, holding the numb area where she had just slapped me, "Oh God! That hurt!" I whimpered, looking up at her and seeing her with a smirk on her face.

"Will that prove it?" She laughed playfully.

"No," I responded, "-do it with Anthony too." I heard footsteps and a loud slap followed by my friend's cries of pain. I snickered, "That'll do."

"Let's get you some ice packs for those." She said.

* * *

We surrounded the table again with both of us having a bag of ice tied to our heads, listening to what will the curator say when she finishes reading some books.

"Okay, now comparing it with this present-day L.A. Map, the Golden Flamingo, it located somewhere beneath the Hollywood Sign." She placed a transparent map of the City over the old map and began tracing the destinations with a marker, "We need to find where the entrance is, one of these locations." There were places on the old map marked with dots that seemed to be randomly placed, "So, the only problem is to find the place where we'll begin."

"How can we rule them all out? We just can't go into the LA Bank like that." I pointed to the marked area on the city map where the Bank was.

"Oh, sorry-" Billy lifted up the first layer and picked off the part, "That was just a chocolate stain." He laughed.

"Okay, that's one location off the list, any more stains there you want to tell us about?" Anthony sighed.

"There's a dried booger stain on the LA Police Station." The boy said.

"OH GOD!" The three of us jumped, "Take it off!" Sidney shrieked and Billy removed it.

"It was Charlie's, not mine!" He said.

The guinea pig popped out of the boy's pocket and climbed on the table, "That's true, I'm a little bit unwell." He sneezed.

"Okay, now we got five locations, we just need to know where to start." Sidney rolled her eyes.

Then a sound of footsteps came from the floors beneath us.

"What's going on down there?" Sidney asked then approached the monitors near her office, she viewed them then gasped.

"What is it?" Anthony asked.

I viewed the monitor and saw a group of men running up the stairs, the looked intimidating, they were carrying rock candy lightsabers. Then I remembered, "It's the guys who were chasing Billy!" I recalled, "How did they find us?!"

"Maybe because of Lloyd's new headset?" Billy shrugged, "It kinda resembles the ones from those spy movies, where there was a mole wearing a headset."

"That snitch!" Sidney said angrily, "After all these years of being kind to him."

Then there was a loud bang on the door.

"Billy! Here!" Charlie tossed Billy a pencil-length stick with a wooden ball. The boy caught it and turned it on, a long purple lightsaber emitted from the other end.

"How are we going to get out of here? We don't even have our lightsabers?!" I panicked.

"Au contraire." Anthony dug in his pocket and handed my a stick like Billy's, "I knew it would come handy again." He smiled and took out another one, pressing a button then a green glowing rock candy came out.

"Aw, you the best, bro." I said before observing the hilt, it was the same ones I had before, the same battle damages it had endured and the same empowering feeling. I pressed small button and watched a blue rock candy gloriously emerge from one end, creating that oh so satisfying whir. I smiled and let a tear slip from one eye.

 _Just like old times._


	4. Chapter Three - Escape from the Museum

**Anthony Padilla**

 _It's happening all over again. And I like it._ Loud banging was heard from the other side of the door, the goons found us, and we need to get out of here now, but not without some whoop ass. Ian, Billy and I drew out our lightsabers while Sidney began cleaning up the scattered papers related to the treasure.

Then the three of us rushed to a nearby bookshelf and pushed it to the large doors, barricading it for now.

"They must not get this map." She said as she rolled back the scroll before shoving it in a medium sized backpack. She took off her navy blue coat and was left with her plain white blouse, "Hey Ian!" She spoke up, "What the hell are you looking at?"

I glanced at my friend and saw drool marks on his chin, "Oh sorry." He wiped it off and prepped his weapon. But this time, it was me who was distracted by her appearance.

 _Damn, she was so beautiful._

She glared at me, "Anthony, I see you." She scolded while taking off her high heels and replacing them with flat shoes.

"You got any other exits here?" Ian asked.

"There's another door leading near the stairs, we should go there." Sid rushed to a smaller door when suddenly, a loud bang came from the other side. "Shit! They're here too!" She exclaimed before pulling us back into her main office.

"Hide." Ian said and shoved us back into Sidney's office, Billy switched off the lights, leaving the streetlights outside as the only light source along with our glowing lightsabers.

"Then we creep up their asses." I smiled, meeting Sidney's gaze.

"You meant that metaphorically, right?" Billy's face scrunched.

"Yes, Billy." I sighed.

BANG! The louder it got as bits of wood popped off the door.

"Sid, take Charlie." Billy took out the guinea pig from his pocket and handed it to her, "He'll protect you since he hasn't drunk any booze yet." The boy added.

The curator cradled Charlie in her hands, "Nice big jubblies." His British voice said, "I mean, of course I'll protect you."

"Billy, protect Sidney and the map," Ian said, "-and Anthony?"

"Yeah?" I nodded.

"Let's do this, my brother." He placed his hand on his chest, forming a letter 'b' with it, "B-"

"-F-" I formed an 'f' next to his hand.

"-F." He completed the sign by flipping his middle finger and forming the 'f', doing it like we did in _Smosh: The Movie._

The five of us went nearer to the door and hid behind some statues, letting the darkness hide us from them. We switched off our lightsabers once we had assumed our positions, Billy joining me in my hiding spot while Sidney joining Ian, waiting for the doors to burst open.

 _Ian, you lucky bastard._

The banging on the door grew louder until we heard the entire thing unhinge from where it should be. Amidst the darkness we saw lights of various colors illuminate the place, coming from the goons' lightsabers.

I looked at Ian who hid directly behind a statue opposite us and waited for the signal, "There's too many of them." Ian mouthed.

"And that's why we have Charlie." Billy tapped my shoulder then beamed at my friend. Ian's face had a dash of realization of what Billy meant.

Ian smiled and turned around to face Sidney. He whispered something to her and the guinea pig. The curator nodded and placed Charlie on the ground, "Show 'em what you got, Charlie." Ian said.

The guinea pig stepped into the henchmen's view, "Oy wankers! Do you have any booze here?" Charlie spoke up loudly that he caught their attention.

I peeked around the corner and saw the henchmen watch Charlie then burst into laughter, mocking him. _This does not look good for them._

 _"_ Oh, you laugh at me now?" Charlie's eyes started glowing red, "Taste my laser beam, bitches!" He let out a loud grunt and shot out red beams from his eyes, surprising the goons and blasting some of them away.

"NOW!" I yelled, Ian, Billy and I sprang from our hiding places and attacked the disoriented goons, "IAN COVER YOUR EARS!" I said and Ian cupped his hands over his ears as I swiped up my lightsaber and hit a henchman's ballsack.

The man shrieked, "My balls!" The clutched his roasted nuts before I elbowed him to the ground.

"Thanks, bro." Ian said before he lunged at an attacker, skillfully fighting against him.

Billy on the other hand, flew on his propeller hat with Sidney riding on her back, "Anthony! Where's Charlie?" The boy asked.

"I'm here!" Charlie had climbed up on top of a goon's head, still blasting lasers from his eyes. Billy then swooped down and snatched the guinea pig along with the man's fake hair. Charlie laughed loudly, "I knew that this was fake!"

"Ian, let's go!" Ian and I ran out the office with Billy flying behind us. Then the boy and Sidney landed back on the ground and ran with us, going back to the elevators. "Come on!"

Then the elevator door slid open, making us stop dead in our tracks. I quickly pulled them behind a curtain. We ended up in one of the exhibits where there was a wax figure of a man in a leather jacket posing like a total 80's bad boy. Behind the figure was a something draped with a large sheet of cloth.

Ian peeked his head outside and looked right back at us, "There's more of them, why do we have to face more guys? Thanks a lot, writer." He rolled his eyes, "But thanks for writing another adventure for us!" He shrugged.

"How we gonna get out of here?" Billy asked as we heard footsteps that ran in the hallway.

"I have a plan, I'm gonna lose my job but it's the only way." Sidney spoke up. We turned to her and she walked to the exhibit behind us and pulled away the sheet that covered it. It revealed a motorcycle with a passenger cab attached to its right side, "Get in."

"I'm driving." Ian interjected.

"Whoa, you can't drive." I stopped him.

"Why not?"

"Because you broke a foot." I smiled.

"When?"

I lifted my foot up and stomped hard on his, "Recently."

Ian let out an inaudible scream and looked at me with angry teary eyes. "So have you." He also stepped on mine, and I almost squealed like a mouse.

"Both of you just shut up!" Sid stopped us, "Ian, you drive." Ian gave me a mocking grin then quickly jumped on the bike while Sidney sat behind him. I sighed and rode with Billy on the passenger cab.

 _Ian - 3, Me - 1._

"Oh cool! An _Indiana Jones_ fedora!" Ian took out an old fedora from inside the bike's side pocket, he put it on and smiled, "This adventure gets better and better." Then silhouettes of people appeared behind the curtains, approaching our spot.

"And to add more action, I brought some _Burrito Bombs_ " I said taking out a bag of beefy burritos.

"You the best." Ian started up the engine and revved it. "Everyone hold on to your butts."

Then something pinched my ass, "OW! Billy!" I snarled.

"Sorry, it was me." Charlie spoke up, "I can't reach my butt so yours will do."

The vehicle zoomed and we were off, leaping from the elevated platform bursting through the curtains, and catching the men off guard.

"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKA!" Ian cheered as he ran over some guys.

"Really? You ripped off Link." I sighed as Ian made a right turn while I threw a bomb at the men with it detonating upon impact and showering them with spicy beef.

"MY EYES!" They shouted.

"The elevator's no good, so let's take the stairs." Sidney wrapped her arms around Ian holding on for dear life as we gained speed and zoomed through the corridors of the museum avoiding the places where the men were.

Ian shot a look at me and stuck his tongue out.

Then a henchman grabbed on our trike's rear, "Give me the map!" He hissed while he pulled himself up. He clawed for Sidney but I intervened, giving him a right hook to the face. But he wasn't knocked out, he still had his grip on the cab.

He then lunged at me then grabbed me by the hair.

"NOT THE HAIR! ANYTHING BUT THE HAIR!" I screamed as he yanked on the stands. "OOOOOW!" I reached for my sword but I couldn't feel it on the seat. The pain on my head soared and I stretched out of my seat to prevent further damage to my luscious God-like hair. "I USE EXPENSIVE SHAMPOO FOR THAT!" I punched on his hand but he didn't let go.

Billy swung his lightsaber and gently touched the blade on the man's hand, burning his skin. The man wailed and he let go of my hair, I then turned around and punched his face again, but he managed to grab on my shirt and pulled me off the cab. Me and the goon were sent rolling on the floor while throwing punches at each other.

"ANTHONY!" Ian screamed and stopped the motorcycle. With enough effort, I managed to knock out the goon and stumble back to my feet. I ran towards them and dove head first in the sidecar.

"Buckle up, Anthony, this ride's gonna be bumpy." Ian said. Then I remembered that line he just said, it was the exact same line he said when we were about to get chased by the police and I threw _pee bombs_ at them.

 _Good times, good times._

"Just go!" I still had my foot up in the air while my head was inside the sidecar. Ian immediately sped off as more goons appeared behind us and went down a flight of stairs, shaking the sidecar violently. I held on for dear life while I felt us travel down the staircase, and the jiggling had my crotch rubbing against the seat creating rough friction. _It was kinda arousing, actually_.

"H-h-h-how m-m-much f-f-further?" Sidney's voice shook as we bounced step after step.

"I-I-I d-d-don't kn-know." Ian replied.

I struggled to put myself right way up, while it jiggled the Taco Bell salad inside my tummy. Billy helped me in doing so and we managed to get me seated back properly. I looked at where we were traveling down an it was the museum's spiral main staircase, and on the bottom of it were more goons waiting for us, "I-I-Ian, th-the-there a-a-are m-m-more o-o-of th-the-them!" Damn, we just kept bouncing and bouncing.

"Sh-sh-shit!" Ian said, struggling to steer the motorcycle away. "I-I c-can't s-steer!"

I reached into my pocket and took out the _gummy snake whip_ and whipped it at a statue near the landing of the second floor. The head of the snake stuck itself on the concrete and acted as a grappling hook, bringing us around the corner, off the stairs and on the second floor avoiding the henchmen on the ground floor.

"Finally we're off that stairs." Billy said, "It's been jiggling my insides."

Ian then made a left and there was a dead end, only a window at the end of the hall was there. We glanced behind us, the men were rushing towards us like flood.

"We're trapped!" Sidney exclaimed, "What are we going to do?"

Ian looked at me and smiled, "Hey Anthony, I think it's time for _HARDCORE MAX 3_." He grinned.

I smirked, "MAAAAAAAAAX!" I sang as Ian zoomed off, driving towards the window.

"What are you doing?!" Sidney shrieked, wrapping her arms around Ian tightly waiting for the impact.

"Trust us." I held onto her arm and prepared a burrito bomb in my other hand. We were fast approaching the glass window with no chances of Ian stopping. My heart raced as it grew bigger, any moment the time would come.

"NOW ANTHONY!" My friend yelled and I threw the bomb, blasting a gaping hole through the wall.

"EVERYBODY HOLD ON!" I said, "BILLY NOW!" The boy then turned on his propeller hat and held on the sidecar.

Then I felt weightless, we had leapt from the building and had begun plummeting towards the ground, all I heard was Sidney's high-pitched scream and Billy's cheer. I held back for a minute then whipped the gummy snake on a lamp post, with it it broke our fall with the help of Billy's propeller hat. It had us dangling from the ground like a bungee jumper.

I removed the gummy head from the lamp post and we were back safely on the ground. My friend then resumed driving away from the museum.

Sidney's scream were cut short after realizing that we were alright, "Wha-?"

"I told you you could trust us." Ian said.

"Oh my God, thank you!" She hugged me then Ian.

"Way to go, _Hardcore Max_." I patted Ian's shoulder.

"Nah, without you and Billy we would've gone straight to the ground... Six feet under." Ian laughed.

"Well you boys have done a great job." Sidney acknowledged. "I'm impressed so far."

"Well, what did I tell you? We're the best explorers yet!"

Billy spoke up,"Uh, you guys are not really-"

I grabbed Billy's face and covered his mouth with both of my hands, "What he meant is we're...uh... n-not really dressed for the expedition-" I stuttered, chuckling weakly, "-we need a change of clothes."

* * *

 **Hey guys! What's up?! I missed ya and it's been a while since I've updated this story so... Here ya go!**

 **-Migz**


	5. Chapter Four - Above & Below

**Ian Hecoccyx**

I drove us away from the museum as far as possible, things were getting out of hand back there so we decided to pull of a Hardcore Max stunt which I was grateful that we did.

It became clear that we were not the only ones who wanted the golden Flamingo, these creepy guys also want them and it looked like they're working for someone who was 'powerful' as how Sidney would describe it. I just hope he reveals himself sooner, I couldn't stand all these suspense and mystery of who is the bad guy.

 _As if the writer listens to my rant, he just wants me to get maimed in every story he wrote._

I drove on, feeling the cold gust of wind blow against my face while swerving the sidecar side to side and avoiding other vehicles. The city's lights were on, giving the place the life it always had. We drove past the _Hollywood Walk of Fame_ , seeing dozens of tourists take pictures of Los Angeles at night.

"So where are we going?" Sidney said while her arms were wrapped around my waist.

"To my apartment, it's much safer there compared to Anthony's." I said.

"And why is that?" Anthony spoke up, quite intrigued by what I have said.

"Duh, your apartment was always featured in every single one of your vlogs, most likely the dudes will start looking there." I shrugged.

A sudden clarity etched on his face, "Oh well, time to move out."

* * *

A few minutes later, we had reached in the northern part of the city just beside Hollywood Hills where it was more peaceful compared to the always-busy downtown Los Angeles.

"We should leave this thing somewhere far away from my place to avoid any more snitches or ambushes." I said, stopping the sidecar in a dark alley.

Everyone got out, "Where are we?" Sidney asked.

"We need to move fast, this place is very dangerous for people like us." Anthony tugged on her arm, pulling her out of the alley.

"Why?"

"This is where we encountered those crazy apeshit fangirls a few months ago." I said, clutching the ancient scroll in my hands.

"Whoa, you guys must've been really great archaeologists for you to have crazy fangirls." She scoffed.

"Actually." Billy spoke up, "They're not-"

I snatched Anthony's gummy whip and wrapped it around the boy's mouth muffling his struggles, "Yeah, heh, explorers. We're the best ones out there."

"Now hurry, we must go." My friend said, leading us through another alleyway, "Let me ask, Ian. Why did you choose this place?"

"It's probably the most inconspicuous place to ditch the vehicle." I shrugged, "Who would bother to think we stopped there?"

"But this is not near your house."

"Change of plan, we discuss the plan in our office." I said.

Anthony stopped dead in his tracks then motioned for Billy to accompany Sidney. He let the them get a good distance from us before speaking up, "Defy Media? You must be crazy! We'll be exposed!"

"Relax, man. We'll just explain to her that they're our co-workers and we'll tell the guys that she's an extra for our new episode. Simple, right?"

"Probably simpler than escaping from those fangirls." He said.

"What?! Where?!" I turned around and saw the same pack of desperate rabid girls rushing towards us, "Anthony, run!"

"Way ahead of ya!" I looked back at my friend who had left me in the spot and ran for Sidney and Billy.

"You son of a bitch." I ran and heard the girls screaming our names.

"IAN! ANTHONY! WE LOVE YOU!"

I sprinted on the sidewalk and eventually caught up with them. _Thank you new and improved intense cardio workout._

"Jeez, don't their parents set them a curfew or something?" Anthony wheezed while running.

"Kids these days." I sighed.

"You pretty much need to run faster." I said to them, "-or else risk getting torn limb from limb."

"I can't run in these high heels!" Sidney yelled, stumbling on those three inch heels.

"Don't worry, I gotcha!" I swooped her off her feet and carried her in my arms.

"You bastard. I was gonna carry her." Anthony said, blushing with anger.

"You can carry me, Anthony!" Billy leapt onto his arms bridal style.

"Oh for the love of-" Anthony grunted while carrying the boy who was obviously not as light as Sidney, "You're heavier than Ian."

"I've been eating a lot of candy last Halloween." The boy chuckled, "Now onwards, my good emo-haired loser."

"My hair's no longer like that." He gasped for air.

"It kinda grew on me."

We dashed across a dark sidewalk with lamp posts as the only sources of light as the girls were gaining on us. My entire being tingled feeling Sidney close to me and not to mention me carrying her bridal style. _It could foreshadow our marriage in the future._

"What now?" My friend said, slightly exhausted due to the boy on his arms.

"Let's hope for the best that the office is still open." I shrugged, making a right into another alley.

"You and you half-baked ideas." He shook his head.

"And let's hope that we won't end up in a dead end."

 _Perhaps I spoke too soon._

Right in front of us was a towering wall of bricks which was blocking our way. "Shit!" I exclaimed, stopping in my tracks and sliding my feet on the wet ground.

"What now?" Billy hopped back on the floor from Anthony's arms.

"Damn, damn." I exhaled angrily before flipping my messy hair from my eyes.

"Oh God!" The boy dove head first into a trash bin, "HHUUUUURRRGGLLL!"

"SERIOUSLY?!" I exclaimed, "My hair's not that disgusting."

He got off the bin and looked at me, "I dunno, it kinda depends on how you flip it, survey said that there are fifty percent of girls whose ovaries explode whenever you do it while the other half hurls."

"Where the hell did you read that?" I wrinkled my forehead and fixed my fedora back on my luscious hair.

The boy's head sunk between his shoulders, "I-I st-started the s-survey..." He gave a timid smile. I rolled my eyes and sighed in disbelief. Then the sound of the hungry pack grew louder.

"Damn, we gotta go back." My friend pulled my shirt and we scrambled back, but then the girls appeared around the corner, they were smiling wide, clutching their autograph books and Smosh t-shirts. They were wearing different colored tshirts but all of which had a print of the phrase " _Ianthony 4ever_ ".

The four of us slowly backed to the wall as the fans closed in like a pack of bloodthirsty hyenas, our hearts rapidly beating and sweat dripping down our faces.

"I-Ian?" Sidney said, "What do we do now?" She held on my arm and Anthony's as we pressed our backs against the cold brick wall. The girls' faces were quite terrifying, they looked so desperate to get ahold of us.

"Hey, Ian. I still got the sexier hair." Anthony beamed at me, as if he was trying to give me a signal or something.

"What?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Come on, breadhead! Just admit I got the sexier hair!" He challenged.

"NEVER!" I shouted and did a hair flip.

"OH GOD! BUT I JUST GOT NEW OVARIES!" A fangirl clutched her belly then fell on the ground. And that's when it hit me, it was the plan Anthony's been subtly telling me.

"Hey, dickbiscuit. How about we have a little hair-off?" I said to my friend and he nodded. After that, the two of us took off our hats and began twirling our heads around with our hairs flowing in the wind.

It was followed by shrieks and hurls from the pursuers as projectile vomits flew in the air.

"I think it's time to go, you two." Sidney took us by the arms and pulled us out of the alley leaving the girls writhing on the ground. I took one last glance and noticed that they had stood up and resumed the chase.

* * *

We stopped beside the busy road with the Defy Media building across it and to our luck, Sgt. Anous was just closing down the doors.

"Sgt. Anous!" I yelled while we crossed the road with the fans still in hot pursuit. The policeman opened the door. I let Anthony and Billy get in first before us, hurriedly shutting the door behind me the exact time the girls crashed onto the glass panel. They desperately wanted to come inside, their faces sticking on the pane looking like mindless meat puppets.

 _Whoa, Deja Vu?_

 _"_ Ian? Anthony? Do you have any idea what time it is?" He scolded.

"Nevermind that. We need to get something from our office." I panted, catching my breath after that lengthy chase. I led themthree of them to the lobby.

"Wait, wait, stop right there." The policeman held my arm, "Who is this lovely lady you got here?" He took off his hat and stared at Sidney, awestruck by her striking appearance, " _Sgt. Harry Anous_ , it's a pleasure to meet you." He took her hand without breaking eye contact with her and kissed it.

"Nice to meet you, Harry. I'm Billy, and that's my hand you're kissing." The boy yanked his hand from the policeman and shuddered while wiping it on his shirt. The policeman spat and wiped his tongue on his sleeve.

The curator chuckled and shook hands with the policeman, "I'm Sidney Ackerman, head curator of the Los Angeles Museum."

"She's a friend of ours." Anthony stuttered, "She is interested on our services."

"Oh, well, carry on then." Anous put back his hat and smiled at us before returning to his post.

* * *

We had finally reached our office where it was dark and quiet and there was no one there. I turned on the lights and the place was gradually illuminated by the fluorescent lights on the ceiling enabling us to see the rows of cubicles where it was the workplace of our coworkers, with each cubicle having a set of computer each.

"Come on." Anthony took Sid's hand and led her to the main office with us following suit. We then unrolled the scroll on the large office table and studied it, trying to decipher any clues hiding in the ancient papyrus of the city.

"So, where do we start?" Billy asked while he took out Charlie from his pocket and placed him on the table. The guinea pig also began scrutinizing the map.

"That's what we're trying to know, there's not a freaking clue here that leads to the first location." Anthony replied.

Sidney took out her book that she brought with her from the museum and opened it on the page where there was the image of the golden flamingo and its history, "Now, according to the author of this history book, Brian Muss, he claims that he had been to the place but was never able to retrieve the treasure. He says that the only way to pinpoint the first location among these marked areas is we need to obtain a special kind of glass: A glass that is as dark as sapphire but shines green and yellow when held at a certain angle."

"We also meed to find the place where we need to mount the said glass on." I said, "But where?"

"Excuse me, guys." Billy interjected and we shot a look at him, "You want some coffee? There's a vending machine out in the hall and I'm kinda craving for one."

Anthony scoffed and smiled at him, "No thanks, you just go ahead and buy your coffee, and watch your back."

"Don't worry, this boy here is a Jedi master." He bragged, taking out his lightsaber and walking towards the door.

"Bring me some booze!" Charlie yelled.

"Nope." He stepped out of the office and closed the door behind him.

I got to my table, pulled out a drawer and took out a pencil and a compass before returning to the two. All of us were brainstorming, investigating every nook and cranny of the map.

"Hey guys? What did I miss?" Billy appeared in the room with a small cup of coffee in his hands, trying to balance the cup. "Okay, now I've got my coffee-WHOA!" The boy tripped on a trash bin, accidentally tossing his drink.

Into my face.

I screamed in agony, covering my face with my hands, "DAMN IT!" I bellowed, "MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" But then I realized that it wasn't hot... It was _Iced Coffee._

"What a waste of a beautiful caffeinated drink." Anthony shook his head in disbelief. I looked at him with and angry pissed-off stare.

"There goes my drink." Billy frowned.

"You clumsy bastard." I bottlenecked my anger, "And why do I have to get injured or humiliated in every adventure?! I blame the writer for this!"

"Guys, check this out!" Sidney interrupted, pointing to her book, "Look at this, after Billy spilled the coffee on Ian it got some on this page." We all looked at the stained page of the golden flamingo's picture: there were letters on the page as if purposely written there by invisible ink. "You should do it again, Billy."

"Luckily for you, I have another cup." He took out a cup then tossed the liquid contents it into my face.

I shrieked again, "DAMN IT, BILLY! WHY?!"

"What? She told me to do it again." He shrugged.

"Yeah, Sidney definitely said that." Charlie spoke up, "The boy was just following orders."

"Don't you pick sides, Charlie." I grunted and wiped my face with my shirt, sighing in annoyance.

"Quit your whining, dude." Anthony said, "We need to do this."

"Seems like the author left a message on the page." The curator said. We glanced at the drenched page of the book and had revealed a phrase:

 _From where I stand I see stars above and below_  
 _Up north but facing south._  
 _But when the sun is high up, only the stars below remain._

"' _The stars above and below_.'" I repeated, " _'Up north but facing south'?"_ I used my compass to find which way was north. "Find a place that's facing south but up north."

"Uh, what now?" Anthony was lost, "A place that's what?"

The five of us gathered around the map once again, overlaying the transparent map of the current city, "'The stars above-" I mumbled.

"-and below." Charlie crawled on the surface of the map, "That is the _Pacific Ocean_ over there, right?" He pointed to a drawing on the papyrus that subtly resembled a sea.

"Yeah." Sidney replied.

"It might say that it was about a sea. Y'know? It reflects the stars and all, maybe the carnival?"

"The stars on the sea disappear when the sun rises." Anthony said, eliminating the carnival as a possible location."

"Hey guys!" Billy spoke up, he was near the window looking down at the people on the streets, "Look! It's Robert Downey Jr.!" He pointed to a man on the road driving a Porsche 911, "Oh! And there's Brad Pitt!"

"Now's not the right time for that, Billy." My friend scolded.

"Sorry, I was just looking down at the stars." Billy whimpered. At the same exact moment, our heads shot up as if we had the same thought.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"What?" The boy wrinkled his forehead.

"Can you say that again."

"' _What'_?"

"The one you said a while ago!"

"I said 'what'." He scoffed.

"The other one!"

"' _I said what'_?"

"GODDAMMIT, BILLY! THE ONE YOU SAID ABOUT STARS!" I bellowed, making him jump and cower.

"Oh." He chuckled, "I said I was looking down at the stars."

Charlie, Sidney, Anthony and I met each other's gazes, "THE STARS BELOW!" We scrambled to the window and looked at the people.

"I think that what he meant by 'stars' are the famous actors, and they're right above the real stars." Anthony looked up at the sky where the beautiful constellations twinkled.

"And when the sun rises, the ones in the sky disappear!" I jumped, "Billy! You clever idiot." I pat the boy's head.

"I-I don't get it." He had no idea what he had discovered.

Sidney took my compass and watched the arrow point to the left where the real north was, "And to its north is the _Griffith Observatory."_ She jumped with joy, "The observatory is facing south and gives tourists a view of the entire city!" She exclaimed, "All we need is that special glass."

"I think I know what kind of glass it is." My friend spoke up, he was staring at a poster on the wall, "It definitely fits the description."

It was a poster of a man who was wearing a turquoise long-sleeved jacket, wearing short peach-colored shorts, wearing large blue shades and clutching a pink flamingo in his hands.

 _That Damn Neighbor's blue shades._

"Anthony, you're a genius!" I said, "We have a spare of those here."

"You guys are good at this, I can't believe it." Sidney hugged us and kissed us on our cheeks.

"Could you do that again?" Anthony blushed profusely, "A little bit longer?"

"Don't push it." She rolled her eyes.

I laughed, "We go to the observatory midday tomorrow."


	6. Chapter Five - Follow the Light

**Anthony Padidgeridoo**

The sun shone brightly in the sky, giving the city of Los Angeles the heat it has to offer. It was still hot even though that it was already early November, it was hotter than my sexy sharpie-drawn abs.

It was time to set the plan in motion, the five of us had stayed in the office for the night to avoid any more run-ins with the mysterious goons that wanted to get their hands on the treasure.

"Well, I think it's time to get moving." Ian said, zipping up a satchel that contained all of the things we needed: the map, the book, some other explorer materials that Indiana Jones would usually bring, and the Neighbor's blue tinted shades.

"We need to change clothes before we step outside this building." Sidney said who was staring out the window and looking down at the road, "Something inconspicuous."

"We have this wardrobe where we keep all of our costumes we usually use." Ian said and led us out the office and down the hall before stopping by a grey door with a 'Wardrobe' label.

Ian pushed the door open and there were a few exhibits inside displaying the most memorable props we had used in some of our videos. Inside the room were various costumes that were on coat hangers.

The three quickly ran to the clothes and began picking out what they would be wearing while I wandered to the exhibits, looking at the items resting on a pedestal protected by a thick glass box.

What caught my attention was the item at the very center, it was a grey rubbery glove with Nintendo buttons on it, and near the buttons was a label that upon reading it brought back fond memories:

 _POWER GLOVE_

I smiled and scoffed, there was also a text under the glove engraved on a bronze plaque.

 _The_ _unforgettable glove that Ian and Anthony used to get Into, Through and Against Time._

I let out a tear slip from my eye, the nostalgia was too much.

"Hey, dude." Ian greeted, putting a hand on my shoulder, "Those were the days, the days when I always hit people with the viagra dart instead of the tranq one."

I chuckled, "Yeah, now let's go get changed."

* * *

"Ready guys?" I asked. I was wearing an almost exact replica of Indiana Jones's outfit: a dirty grey safari-type shirt under a thick leather jacket complete with his old dusty fedora.

"Sidney said something inconspicuous, but I like this outfit." Ian stepped out of the dressing room; I looked at him and jumped, he was wearing the same exact costume as I, "And I got this suh-weet satchel like his."

"That's like the perfect replica of Indy's bag." I whimpered.

"I know, right? So I guess that, you'll have to change your clothes then." He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No freaking way, I'm made for this costume, can't you see? This shirt perfectly wraps around my mid section." I flaunted, "Plus, I got this gummy snake whip."

"But I look way more attractive than you with my awesome beard unlike your baby face." Ian laughed and stuck his tongue out.

"Hey, you lovebirds, stop fighting, both of you can be Indy. We need to get to the observatory now." Sidney spoke up upon entering the room, we turned our heads to her and our jaws dropped: she had her red hair tied like a ponytail, she was wearing almost skintight khaki pants, safari shirt that had the bottom part tied around her abdomen that partially exposed her belly.

We were both awestruck, she was absolutely beautiful.

"Hello?" She waved her hands at our faces, pulling us back from our trance, "We need to get there now before midday."

"Oh, alright." I stuttered, "Okay, listen, we have to sneak out through the VIP Garage since it's much safer there. Also, we could bump into some of our friends and most likely they will ask what we're doing, the best excuse is that we're going to shoot some footage outside." I thought up that excuse to prevent us from being exposed as phonies or else risk losing Sidney forever.

She nodded in agreement, "Let's do this." Sidney smiled, "Where's Billy?"

"I'm right here." The boy appeared by the door.

"NOT YOU TOO!" Ian and I rolled are eyes upon seeing the boy wearing the same outfit we were wearing.

"Are we gonna sit here and fight over who gets to be Indy or we start finding the treasure?" Charlie popped out from Billy's shirt pocket wearing a tiny explorer hat oh his head.

"Let's go."

We descended down the flight of stairs and ended up in the main lobby where a lot of people were there, going in and out of the building to attend an important matter.

"Remember, no eye contact and act natural." I said.

"Ian! Anthony!" A female voice yelled, we turned around slowly to face her. She had long wavy blonde hair, striking blueish green eyes, cheerful smile, cute button nose, she's really pretty but can be dorky sometimes, _Courtney Miller._

"Hey, Courtney!" Ian greeted, giving her a hug.

"Okay, what's up with the archaeologist costume?" Courtney raised an eyebrow.

"We need to shoot a little video outside, for our 'Smoshers in the wild' video." I replied, hoping for the best that she'd buy it.

"Oh yeah, this is our friend, Sidney Ackerman." Ian motioned to the curator behind me, the two women shook hands and smiled at each other.

"She's the hot girl in the video." I whispered to Courtney.

"Oh, alright. Look, I'm gonna go to our office and work on that new project we were talking about."

"Okay, so, see you later and don't forget about the party tonight." She said.

"Party? Wh-what party?" Ian stuttered.

"Are you guys on bath salts or something?" Courtney wrinkled her forehead, "It's your tenth anniversary!"

Shit. I forgot about the massive party that YouTube's going throw for us, it's Smosh's tenth year on the website, quite an accomplishment we had.

"Oh yeah, so see you later, then!" I waved goodbye and she proceeded to walk to the elevators.

"Tenth Anniversary?" Sidney slowly smiled, "Of you two?!" She jumped.

"Yeah." Ian and I nodded.

"I knew you two were dating!" She laughed, "The moment I met you two, you looked like a couple with all the fights and all."

"What the frick?!" My friend and I blurted out.

Ian shook his head, "No, you have it all wrong, it's our chan-" he was interrupted by my nudge, "-our office's tenth anniversary."

"Oh, well, we better get moving, you don't wanna miss your big party!" The curator smiled.

"Alright. Billy, go take Sidney to the VIP Garage and wait for us there, Anthony and I are gonna talk about something." Ian said. The boy then led her to the northern part of the building and merged in with the busy crowd.

"Dude, I completely forgot about the party!" I panicked.

"Don't sweat it, bro. I'm sure we'll find that treasure before the party starts." My friend said, but I felt worry in his tone.

"Let's just hope there'll be less goons that will catch us." I looked at my feet.

We then left the lobby and followed Billy's tracks, going to the north of the building and passing the gift shop that displayed various Smosh merch ranging from t-shirts to creepy-looking bobbleheads of us.

Then we reached the double doors that leads to the VIP garage, and just beside it were Billy and Sidney waiting for us there, "Let's go." I said, pushing open the door and letting them pass through. "Wait, whose car are we going to use? I mean, we left Ian's car back at the museum."

"Don't worry about that." Ian smiled, jiggling a familiar set of keys that had a distinct _Subaru_ logo, "-a friend of us allowed us to borrow his car."

Ian led us to the car park where there were only a few cars inside ten clicked the car keys. Then one of the cars' headlights blinked orange, it was a grey _Subaru Impreza STI_.

"I knew we could always count on the _Elf from Hyrule_." I scoffed then followed the others who walked to the car.

Then in the corner of my eye there was a glint of silver, I turned that way and looked at it, it was a vehicle that was covered with a grey cloth, however, there was a part of it that was exposed. The shape of the vehicle underneath was all too familiar.

I lifted off the front part of the cover and it made my heart leap, it was a sight for sore eyes upon seeing the brand.

DMC

I pulled the cover off the car exposing the DeLorean Time Machine in its full glory, it was still as beautiful as it was before: slivery and sleek.

"Hey Padildo, had a nice trip down memory lane?" Ian said, honking Link's car horn, "Come on, let's take that trip later because right now we need to find the flamingo before the party tonight."

"Sorry, there's so many time travel feels." I replied.

* * *

After a few minute's drive, we were fast approaching the Griffith Observatory that was resting on the grassy Hollywood Hills and right beside the iconic Hollywood sign.

Ian parked the car among the others before turning off the engine, "Alright, we're just in time-" He said, stepping out of the car and taking a glance at the sun that was just approaching its midday position, "-now we only need to find where we will mount the neighbor's glasses to point us the way.

The four of us (five counting Charlie) walked towards the colossal structure, the place was riddled with tourists from every part of the world, here to create memories of their trip, taking pictures of them looking down at the large city of Los Angeles using the provided binoculars.

"Where to now?" I asked.

Sidney opened the book and turned the page, "It says here, that we need to find a place where the sun shines the brightest at noon."

"Where exactly?" Ian interrupted.

"Uh, guys?" Billy tapped my shoulder, "I hate to interrupt, but those guys are back." He said who was staring at something in the distance.

"What guys?" We turned around and gasped, there were a group of men dressed in grey formal attire that had just exited a large van, and upon a closer look. They were the same guys who we fought last night.

I shoved them behind a bush and dove in myself, just in time we heard their footsteps walk past us, "Come on, where do you think in that place where that the sun shines brightly?"

"Most likely the place where the rays hit it first." Charlie replied.

I took a glance at the observatory and observed its every detail, it had three domes on top, two small green domes at each side that both had an opening where the large telescope is hidden while the third one at the center was at least three time bigger, made green-tinted glass that lacks the opening. I looked at where the sun was shining, it was shining brightly at the structure's left side since that was the east.

"There, the left side of the building." I pointed it out. "We must hurry."

"How can we get past the men undetected?" Sidney asked, "-we had less than five minutes to get there." She looked at her watch that displayed five minutes to twelve noon.

"Leave it to us." Billy said with Charlie on his shoulder, "We'll distract them."

"How?" Ian raised an eyebrow.

Billy smiled widely then took the book from Sidney, "We'll lead them to the away while you make your way to the east, Charlie and I will meet you there."

"Time to maim some poofs." The guinea pig cheered.

Billy winked at us before jumping out of hiding. He then began waving his arms about calling the henchmen's attention, "Hey guys! I surrender!" He knelt down and presented the book to them.

The men approached Billy while we crawled around them, ducking under some benches before merging into the busy tourists. I glanced at them as they surrounded Billy and Charlie, then laser beams began shooting out, blasting off some dudes. I saw Billy dashed to the west side of the observatory with the book still in his hands and Charlie on his shoulders still shooting lasers.

The sudden commotion terrified the people that they began running away, "Time to move." Ian said while we fought out way through the stampeding crowd that ran the opposite.

We ran inside the place and dashed up the stairs, ignoring some guard's yells at us to not go up the restricted area. Once we had finally reached to top floor, the sun's bright light got into our eyes. I shielded my eyes and locked the door behind us.

"Okay, where's the glass?" Ian said out of breath, wincing at the brilliant light.

"Here." I fished the blue shades out and handed it to him. Ian ran to the edge of the observatory and climbed on top of the railing, raising the shades as high as he could.

Then he suddenly slipped, Ian trembled and lost his footing, screaming while he fell over.

"IAN!" I ran for him and caught him by the foot, ending up with him dangling upside down over a two story drop with a steep rocky mountainside. "Don't worry, buddy. I got ya!" I grunted while hooking my shoes on the railing and Sidney holding my belt while hooking her other arm to a nearby lamp post.

"HOLY SHIT!" My friend gasped, looking down at the terrifying drop that could've been his death, "Shit! I dropped the lens!"

"That doesn't matter! Give me your hand!" I yelled.

Ian reached out his hand but grunted as he couldn't pull his upper body upward, "Damn! I should've done that ab workout."

"You can do this, hurry up, your shoe's slipping!" I felt his foot inside the shoe slowly slip out of it. My friend reached again, my heart raced as I watched him reach for my hand, but he failed once again

"Give me your whip!" He said and without any hesitation, I handed him my gummy snake whip. He began twirling the head of the snake before whipping it at a nearby edge, the head of the snake wrapped around the metal railing. He then looked at me and smiled, "Let go."

"You sure?" I replied.

"Yeah!"

"I don't know, you know how heavy you are." I chuckled, "That thing could snap."

"Dude, really?" Ian rolled his eyes, "Just trust me-" I suddenly let go of his foot, and he screamed like a sissy girl while he swung around the side of the observatory, holding on for dear life on the gummy snake's tail.

"DICK!" He exclaimed before swinging back to us.

"You told me to let go." I shrugged while we helped him climb back over.

Ian leaned over again, "I dropped it." He bowed his head.

"Hey guys! Lose something?" Billy spoke up, we turned around to see him hovering over the edge of the building. In his hand was the blue shades.

"Good boy, Billy! I knew we could count on ya!" I cheered, "Now if you could just hold it a little higher against the sun."

Billy did as he was told, bringing it over his head. The lens flashed and created a blue beam of light that pointed out into the city, but it was not just a single straight beam, it bounced off of a reflective blue lens the same as the ones we have. Then it bounced again, and its reflective ray met another and another, before ending up at the Hollywood Sign behind us.

Sidney unrolled the map and gasped, "Oh my God, those places where the beam bounced off were the five places marked in this map!" She pointed out, "First one where the light to bounced off is _The Los Angeles Library-"_ She placed a dot on the transparent map that was taped over the papyrus, "-next is the _Echo Park-"_ She drew a line that from the library to the park, "-then the _Hollywood Walk of Fame_ , then the _Getty Center_ before ending at the Hollywood Sign where the Golden Flamingo is!" She marked traced the destination points.

"What do we need to do with those locations?" I asked.

"Billy, give me the book." Sidney said, Billy landed on the ground then handed the book to her. She turned the pages again, "It says here that we need to retrieve those four lenses that will serve as the key to the actual Golden Flamingo."

BOOM! There was an explosion in the distance, it came from the parking lot. We scrambled to the balcony overlooking Griffith Park.

"Please not our car, please not our car." Ian had his eyes shut while he walked towards the balcony. He opened his eyes and gasped, among the cars was a thick cloud of black smoke and one of them was burning. It was our Subaru Impreza.

My jaw dropped, "This does not look good." There were a lot of henchmen standing on the ground floor, looking up at us with their churro guns drawn.

"You're surrounded, Ian and Anthony." One of the goons said.

"Billy, take Sidney and go." Ian said. The boy grabbed Sidney by the arms and let his propeller hat spin.

"Wait!" Sidney struggled from the boy's grasp, "What about them?!"

"Billy's hat can't carry all of us." I gave a her weak smile. Tears flowed from her eyes then she hugged me, "We'll be fine. Go."

Then there were loud banging on the locked door behind us.

"I'll stay with you then." She firmly said.

"You don't have much time." I said, looking into her striking blue eyes that were as blue as the ocean, "Don't let them have this." I handed her the map and held her hand tightly.

"We'll find a way out." Ian said, smirking, "We always do."

She wiped her tears, "I'll see you later." She then kissed us both on the cheeks before hopping on Billy's back. They began levitating slowly before gaining more height. The goons below began shooting cinnamon bullets at them but they all missed.

"Billy is one lucky guy to have Sidney riding on his back." Ian said while we watched them fly in the distance.

Then the doors flew open, the men surrounded us and aimed their churro guns. We raised our hands and they began tying us back-to-back.

Ian worriedly said, "Dude, Link's gonna kill me."


	7. Chapter Six - That Damn Treasure

**Ian Hecox**

I watched Billy and Sidney disappear into the horizon while being fired at by the the henchmen, only a few of them ran back to their vehicles and chased after the two while the others shoved us back to their vans.

There was a length of rope tied around my chest tightly restraining my arms to the sides. Tied to my back was a really heavy weight that was slowing down my progress in walking, as if I was dragging a huge boulder. My breath shortened, I wheezed, the heaviness of it exhausted me.

It was my lazy-ass friend Anthony.

Yeah, dumb bastards decided to tie us back-to-back and eventually one of us had to carry the weight of the other or at least in my case, my best friend's really lazy and apparently hates walking backwards.

"Hey, doofus." I said to one of the goons, "Can you at least tie us properly? I can't bear the weight of my friend behind my back, little bitch had me do all the walking."

"You have no idea how hard it is to walk backwards." Anthony replied.

"How about we switch?" I turned us around and let my weight bear down on my friend who was now dragging me, "-let's see how you'll deal with this tub of lard ass of mine." I laughed.

Anthony took a few steps, he grunted loud and I laughed at his predicament. I heard him struggle pulling me to the cars and to my surprise (NOT!), we only have moved a few feet from where we had switched.

"Psst, Ian." Anthony mumbled while he struggled to pull us across the wide park.

"What?" I whispered.

"In my back pocket, there is a tiny celery knife. See if you can reach it, my arms are bound tightly because they're so buff." He said, "Your arms are thinner because you don't workout as hard as I do."

I rolled my eyes, "Sure, even in these kinds of situations you always find ways to brag about your buff body while insulting mine."

My hand budged backwards under the restraints and felt Anthony's back pocket. I began wiggling my fingers to feel a sharp blade that my friend had described all while walking backwards with the goons surrounding us.

Then Anthony giggled, "Dude, it tickles!" He said shaking his hiney to avoid my fingers.

"Dude, stop shaking. I can't feel the blade." I whispered and Anthony tried to control his laugh.

"While you're at it, could you please scratch my butt?" He sheepishly mumbled while he kept walking, "I've got an itchy zit there that must be clawed."

"I trying to find it!" I then started moving my hands like a claw on the surface of his pants when suddenly I grasped one of his butt cheeks.

Anthony squealed in a high-pitched tone.

"So that's what your butt feels like." I joked, "Feels like a saggy, week old watermelon." I moved my fingers on the surface of his shorts.

"Ian, stop groping my ass, it's turning me on!"

"Stop squirming, they're gonna suspect a- wait what?!" I stopped moving my hand. _This is getting a little awkward._

"It gives me shivers when someone gets a firm grip on my butt."

"The people reading this will surely squeal with joy." I sighed then continued touching his pocket.

"Sure, ianthony shippers are gonna love this."

I felt a sharp object prick my finger, "Ow! Found it."

"Good, now push it out." He said and I began pushing the blade up and out of the pocket when suddenly, Anthony moaned out loud, "OH MY GOD, RIGHT THERE, IAN! There's that damn rash, scratch it!"

Then the men stopped walking and looked at us.

"Uh-uh, he just asked me to scratch his buns for him." I shrugged awkwardly and began scratching my friend's ass and he responded by moaning like someone who's having an orgasm.

"Oh yeah, right there." Anthony mumbled in pleasure. "Keep going, bro."

"Dude, the readers are going to take this out of context." I said.

"So what? Most of our jokes are always that way." He replied, "Some are even inappropriate for our demographics."

"True." I nodded before feeling for the knife.

He moaned again, "I think the zit popped." Anthony mumbled and I shuddered.

"Got it!" I cheered and stopped at what I was doing, the blade was in my hand now and I tightly wrapped it inside my palm concealing it from the others' view.

The men shook their heads then kept pushing us to their vehicles until my buddy tripped and sent us falling to the ground. We fell faced down on the rocky road of the park that grazed our cheeks.

"You dumb bastards." I spat at them whom were looking down at us and roaring with laughter.

"Everyone, quiet!" One of them interrupted, "The boss would like to have a word with these two idiots." He said while we helplessly lay on the ground.

"Us? Idiots? We're not the ones who had let the map get away." Anthony mocked and that earned him a kick in the gut. He yelped, face contorting in pain, "Still not the idiot." He spat.

Then a sound of footsteps approached us as the men stayed silent, being as quiet as they could while their so-called boss makes his dramatic entrance like in every story the author writes. Then a pair of feet wearing pink rubber shoes stopped near my face.

I slowly looked up at the man and winced at the bright sunlight that partially concealed his face. His outline was made it look like that it was the Grim Reaper looking over us.

The boss leaned in gradually for dramatic purposes, revealing his features: blueish green jacket, hot pink colored shorts, on his face was a thick pair of blue sunglasses.

"I knew it." I mumbled as the Neighbor cracked a smile, "There's only two people I know who are obsessed with flamingoes, but one is a tad bit crazier."

The Neighbor did not utter a single word but instead pulled one of his henchmen and whispered in his ear. The goon nodded and pulled us to sitting up.

"Hey! Watch the-" Anthony grunted. Then the men aimed their taquito guns at our heads cutting my friend's rant.

I sighed, "Let me guess, you want the map?" I asked and he nodded.

"Well, tough luck, bro. The map's already on its way to the first location." I mocked. Then the Neighbor slapped me, I yelped, feeling the burning pain soar in my cheek. "I deserve that." I said.

"Since this kinda reminds me of the _Indiana Jones_ films, care to explain what is your dastardly plan once you have obtained the golden flamingo?" Anthony smirked.

"The Neighbor's plan is to take over Benny Jean's lawn and enslave all the hillbillies." One of the goons said on behalf of their mute boss.

"You really have issues with those two dudes." I shook my head in disbelief.

"We don't have your precious map-" Anthony said.

"But we know you know where the first location is." The man replied, "-and you're gonna lead us there."

"And what makes you think we'll bring you there, huh?" I kept a firm voice and stared at the neighbor's spokesman who seemed to not blink.

The Neighbor smirked and snapped his fingers, and one of the goons brought out a leather bag in front of him and removed the cover. The boss gently reached inside the bag and took out a long slender bottle with a red flip cap on top sealing the contents inside that was brown and sticky.

"Pfft, what's that gonna do?" I cackled, "Coat us in maple syrup?"

Then he turned around the syrup bottle around. My heart leapt to my throat, on the label of the bottle was a middle-aged woman with curly auburn hair, her lips were formed into a smile so terrifying that it sent shivers down my spine the moment I saw her... _Aunt Jemima._

"Ian, stay calm." Anthony whispered knowing that I was starting to panic.

My breath hitched, my heart raced as the evil neighbor brought the bottle closer to my face. I leaned my head backwards avoiding the approaching demonic lady, "No, please!"

The neighbor and his henchmen laughed.

"Ian, you can do this, they can't break you." Anthony tried calming me down but I couldn't help but stare at the woman on the sticker, "I know you can, she's just a syrup bottle."

"I-I c-can't." I whimpered, closing my eyes shut but feeling the bottle get closer. And upon closing my eyes, scary images of Aunt Jemima mutating into some sort of demonic entity that gave me even more goosebumps than before. _Scumbag brain._

"You've been through a things far worse than this, be strong, Ian!"

He was right, she is just a bottle. I've been through scarier situations than this, this is nothing compared to the others. My eyes shot open and saw her face mere inches from mine.

I just smirked and kissed the label, "You don't scare me anymore, Jemima." I grinned.

The neighbor grunted in anger and moved to Anthony and all I saw was him digging his hand into my friend's pocket then pulling out his big-ass phablet phone.

"No, please! Don't hurt my phone! I take snapchats with that!" I heard my friend plea, "Anything but my phone!"

"Now it's my turn to calm you down." I said, "Hold up, bro, don't you have a passcode or something?"

"It gives me the opportunity to brag about how great my life's been going- HEY, DON'T INVADE MY PHOTOS!"

One of the goons laughed, "Why not? Almost everything in your gallery are all pictures of your hair." He mocked while watching the neighbor scroll to the photos. Then their jaws dropped open, "What the hell is this?"

The boss turned the phone around and I got a glimpse of the image: it was a picture of me in diapers from our old 2014 _The New Slenderman_ video.

"I thought you're gonna delete that?" I mumbled.

"Uhh-" That was all he could say before the neighbor showed me the phone again displaying a picture of me in my _Honey Boo Boo_ makeup making a kissy face. Then he swiped to the left to show me another image, it was a picture of me again but this time I was making the smirk I did when we were filming a _Rejected Twilight Zone Episode: 'The last two men on earth'._

"Dude, you're freaking me out." I turned to my friend, "Why the hell do I have pictures there? And not the good kind of pictures."

"Uh, none of your business!" He said before his voice toned down, "Come on, time to cut the ropes."

Then he began stalling by mocking them and calling them names while I folded my arms behind my back, carefully running the edge of the small celery knife on the thick rope. I tried moving the blade up and down, but the rope seemed to not even tether one bit.

Every mock Anthony did earned him with either a kick in the stomach or a punch to the face.

"Psst, Ian?" Anthony groggily said, "Could you please hurry it up? You have no idea how bruised my beautiful face is right now."

"I'm trying, the knife's too dull."

"Use the other edge, doofus." He whispered.

"Sorry." Between our backs I turned the knife and began cutting, this time, the binds were starting to snap, "Once I cut through this? Then what?" I asked nearing the final strands of rope to be cut.

"I dunno, didn't think we'd get this far." My friend shrugged, "We'll wing it."

"Seriously?" I whispered, "They have our lightsabers and the whip, how can we beat them?"

"Dude, relax. They're goons, most likely we'll beat them with ease since we are the lead characters, we can beat the goons shitless." He scoffed, "Always the same cliche formula, we break free and they attack one by one instead of closing in as a group."

 _Hmm, he has a point there._

"But this isn't a movie." I argued, "This is a book."

"Psshh, same things apply." Anthony smirked.

"But the writer doesn't like cliché stuff."

"Trust me, and I learned from our previous adventures that it's you who always ends up getting hurt more than me. Remember the laser beams?"

"Yeah, yeah. Can we at least think of a plan once we break free from these?"

"Fine." Anthony pulled out a small silvery sachet from his pocket, "Hold your breath, bro. Things are gonna get stinky."

I took a deep breath and glanced at the label on the sachet:

 _Fart Bag_

"Ready?" Anthony asked and I nodded, my cheeks swelling with the air inside. Then I heard the package being ripped open with a hiss. The henchmen and the neighbor jumped away from us upon smelling the foul odor, some of them puked on the floor while the others collapsed.

"Let's go!" I said and we broke free from the ropes and stood up, clipping our nostrils shut with our hands while we ran to the goon who had our weapons.

With one powerful punch, Anthony managed to knock out the goon, sending him down to the ground. I then snatched our weapons from his grasp and ran with my friend as the men began firing at us with their guns. We ran across the front lawn of the Griffith Observatory hands over our heads while cinnamon stains exploded on the concrete ground.

We reached the small obelisk at the center and hid there, exhausted and heart pounding from all the action. The gunshots never stopped and the men were aiming at our hiding place.

"What now?" I looked at my friend who was frantically looking around.

"Don't worry, we're the protagonists, we're practically invincible." Anthony guffawed, "Watch." He stepped out of the hiding place with his arms extended, and I was cinnamon balls shoot past his body like a bullet, "See? I told y-"

Then one hit him directly in the face, exploding upon impact covering his entire face with the spice. My friend flew a few feet from where he was standing, blown backwards by the hit, he screamed, "MY FACE!"

"I told you" I said, running towards him then helping him stand up. His face was brownish-orange, he had his eyes shut and he was coughing out orange smoke. I held his shirt and dragged him across the lawn and held him, using my body as a shield shield to protect him.

"I can't see! I can't see!" He tried wiping off the powder but it only made it worse.

"Stay close, bro!" I said as we ran. "Hold on to me!"

More goons fired and they managed to hit my side. I shrieked and clutched my waist, it was as painful as being hit by a paintball.

"Aagh! Shit, bad idea." I whimpered as more hit my side, exploding powder all over my Indy suit, "Okay, your turn."

My friend turned his head to me but his eyes were still closed, "What?" and without any warning, I switched places and hid beside using him to block the pellets this time.

"OW! OW! OW! OW! WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?!" Anthony complained.

"Hey, I already took bullets for you." I laughed while watching him jolt in pain, "Time to repay the favor."

"OW! OW! DICK!" He bellowed as he shielded his eyes. Then one hit his crotch. Anthony squealed and held his gonads, " _HEAD IN THE CLOUDS GOT NO WEIGHT ON MY SHOULDER_!" He sang in a pitch so high that it sounded like a whistle.

"Ooooh..." I cringed, "-but that high note though." I snickered, then a pellet hit me in the balls as well, " _I SHOULD BE WISER AND REALIZE THAT I'VE GOT!"_

"H-how m-m-much f-further?" He stuttered, still in his squeaky voice.

"Almost there." I replied, sounding like a chipmunk. "My pee pee." We both limped to one of the goons' vans, both of us had our hands over our crotches, dizzyingly walking to the front seat. My friend pulled open the driver's side, hopped in then reached out his trembling hands to the steering wheel, while I leapt to the passenger seat.

"Anthony, you better hurry." I whimpered before taking a glance at the rear view mirror and seeing the men running towards us.

"Fuck!" He reached for the key only to find out that there was nothing there, "There's no key!"

"Hotwire it!" I bellowed, leaping from the passenger seat to the back to close the door and bolt it shut.

"Holy shit." Anthony fumbled through the thick colored cords, "Which one is it?!"

"Try the orange and yellow!" I yelped.

Then the men on the outside banged on the doors, I saw their faces pushing against the window panel as they desperately tried prying it open.

Anthony picked out the said wires and cut through them, stripping off the rubber coat exposing the copper strands, "This better work." He said before linking the two different wires together creating a spark. Then right on queue, a mariachi song blasted loudly inside the van, ringing through our ears.

"Wrong wire!" I said, covering my ears after tying the back doors together with the gummy whip, "Wrong wire, Ian!"

"You don't have to tell me twice!" He replied, taking a blue wire then connecting it to the purple. Then the van shook side to side like a lowrider vehicle. "Seriously?!"

"Try the last pair!" I said the same time the back doors opened widely showing the dozen henchmen waiting outside wanting to rush in like flood, "Oh shit."

They hopped inside and detracted their lightsabers, I took out mine and Anthony's and turned it on, "Come at me, bros." I twirled the two blades. Three morons pounced and I brought the blades up to fend them off before resulting in a one against three battle, "HURRY!" I bellowed as flashed of light and loud crackles came from out weapons.

He grabbed the red and green wires and connected them, and the engine roared.

"FLOOR IT!" I said as he stepped down the gas pedal. The van zoomed off throwing people outside who weren't holding, including me.

As I was thrown out, my mind slowed everything down. While I flew past the open doors, I reached for the gummy whip and lashed it at the passenger seat, praying that the whip was powerful enough to reach. My heart leapt again while I watched the head of the gummy snake wrap around the entire seat.

Then everything went back to normal and I whiplashed due to the whip being stretched, but it had saved me from getting injuries from falling.

"HOLY SHIT!" I gasped before looking down at my shoe that was standing at the edge of the van, any more farther I would've ended up being dragged by the vehicle.

"That was a close one." Anthony breathlessly said as he drove on.

"I know." I wheezed, closing back the doors and looking outside, only to see three vans containing the boss and his henchmen in the distance coming in fast. "A-Anthony?"

"What?"

"You better drive faster."


	8. Chapter Seven - A Faction Distraction

**Billy Hamburger**

We flew up in the sky as countless cinnamon pellets exploded in mid air while dodging it. We rose up higher and higher, feeling the heat of the midday sun on our skins, before going down south away from the Griffith Observatory.

Despite the scorching heat, the view of the entire city was spectacular, we could see buildings and people in the distance covered by a thin layer of smog, busy with their own business. It was another busy day at Los Angeles.

Sidney rode on my back, arms tightly wrapped around my neck and trembling uncontrollably.

I stopped moving south and hovered high above the Hollywood Walk of Fame, "We have to go to that first location." I said, narrowing my eyes to prevent the sun from getting into my vision, "Where to?"

I felt a slight shift behind my back, she was reaching for the map in the satchel around her shoulder, then she handed me the scroll afterwards.

I unrolled the map while we were up in the air, and a gust of wind blew the map into my face but luckily, the portion of the map that was blown into my face was the first location:

 _The Los Angeles Central Library._

"So we need to go to that library fast-" I blew the map from my face then handed it back to her, "-before those morons do."

Then there was a loud explosion coming from the observatory we had just been. I took a glance behind us and saw Ian and Anthony running from the shots the goons fired at them, in the distance, with Ian using Anthony as a shield letting him take all the bullets.

"Holy crap, it's like war zone back there." Sidney heard the explosions.

"Don't worry, those two always get out... M-most of the time." I chuckled weakly while gliding against the strong winds.

We stopped going south and hovered in midair then turned around to look at what was happening and spotted them hopping in one of the goons' black vans.

The scene was quite terrifying, it was like _World War Z_ or any other Zombie movies, the henchmen were trying to pry the doors open with their weapons.

Sidney gasped as soon as we saw the back doors of the vehicle being ripped open, then they came rushing in like flood.

"Oh no." I murmured, watching in horror as the men hop inside the vehicle.

Then suddenly the van moved from its place, zooming away from the park and throwing out the men outside the moment it did, including Ian.

"IAN!" I screamed. Then I saw his hands holding onto his gummy whip preventing him from falling onto the asphalt road like the others.

However, their troubles were far from over as three vans were in close pursuit.

We then flew back and followed them while flying high up in the air as action unfolded on the road, keeping a good distance from being spotted by the men.

The van being driven by Anthony went into the dark tunnel bore into the base of the Hollywood hills.

"We can't follow them in there-" I said, flying above the hill, "-it'll be too dangerous."

We hovered above the exit and anxiously waited for the guys' van to drive out. I held my breath the minute I heard a roar of an engine coming out of the tunnel, hoping it to be them.

A heavily dented and destroyed van emerged from the arch, there were countless scratches and holes on its surface. The back doors were hanging by a thread on the vehicle being, dragged on the road and sparking due to the friction. It turned right and gave us a view of the people inside through the open doors.

Inside was a man lying down on the floor of it and catching his breath, bruised and exhausted. Both of his hands held a _rock candy lightsaber,_ one blue and the other one green.

"IT'S THEM!" We bellowed but looked back at the exit of the tunnel only to find out that there was another black van almost in the same state as the guys' vehicle, but this one had The Neighbor in it with at least half dozen of his men.

"Oh no." I said as we followed Ian and Anthony down below.

There was a shuffle in my pocket and out Charlie's head popped from it, "Oy poof, not if I got something to say in it." He took one burrito bomb from my pocket then dropped it to the road below, falling behind Anthony's van and in front of the chasing van. The bomb exploded and created a large red smoke the moment it blew up.

"Time for an entrance." I flew lower while the smoke was still large to Ian and Anthony's van.

 **Ian Hecox**

"You better drive faster." I said, holding on to the side as my friend made a left turn into a dark tunnel.

"We can lose them in here." He said, never turning on the headlights and letting us be engulfed by darkness with the only light being at the end of the tunnel.

However, the men were persistent, they turned on theirs and it shone brightly into my face and into Anthony's eyes through the mirrors. Our vehicle sped up but so did the other three.

"IAN, WATCH OUT!" Anthony bellowed upon seeing the van behind us speed up and ram ours, jolting us forwards.

There was a second vehicle that drove to the opposite lane, aligning with our vehicle before ramming us and forcing our van to hit the wall of the tunnel, shattering the windshield and tearing off the side mirrors in the process.

Then the men hopped out of their vans, prepared their weapons and jumped onto ours.

I looked at my friend who had a terrified expression, "JUST DRIVE, I'LL HANDLE THIS! Like I always do."

Three men jumped inside through the wide open back doors, two were armed with churro blasters and one with a lightsaber.

"Let's party." I detracted the two rock candies and began swinging as more men came in. I began swinging, slicing through the thick crowd and fending off the countless attacking goons.

I lunged at them slicing some of their churro blasters in half before kicking them outside and sending them tumbling on the road.

It was adrenaline pumping, spine-tingling and palm-sweating action as I dodged their attacks, and what made it even harder is that we were fighting in a very dark tunnel and inside a very claustrophobic place.

The van violently rocked as there was a brutal brawl inside, the men were overpowering me, they managed to kick away my weapons and pin me down to the ground.

Then one dude raised up his balled fist above his head, preparing to deliver his powerful strike.

"NO!" I lifted my foot up and shoved the goon off of me, he fell back to the hood of the pursuing van while I kept on struggling to break free from the others' grasp.

Then we were thrown to the side, it was then that I noticed that Anthony also was having a battle with a henchman who was trying to pry his grasp from the steering wheel.

"GET THE FUCK OFF!" Anthony reached for the gummy whip and twirled it around before lashing it at the man's hand, creating a bright red mark on the skin. The man wailed in agony and my friend punched him squarely in the face before shoving him out the driver's side door.

Suddenly, another man lunged at him and wrapped his arm around his neck, "I-Ian!" He gasped for air, "I-I n-need he-help here!" He wheezed while trying to keep the van in a straight path.

"I'm a bit preoccupied here." I said before uppercutting a goon and searching for the hilts of our lightsabers.

Anthony steered and rammed the other van that was forcing us to grind on the concrete wall, making it lose control and tip over to its side.

The men kept coming, they were piling over me like American Football players.

 _I made it specific so that you won't be confused with the other football._

There were at least five men trying to hold me down on the van's floor while the others began punching my stomach. The pain was unbearable, I could feel my lunch going back up my throat, I could taste the bitterness of the bile slowly making its way up.

Anthony let out a powerful yell and rammed the other van causing it to tip over like the other one and tossing the other henchmen inside our vehicle to the side and off of me.

My entire body was sore, I could taste blood seeping out of my wound on my lower lip. Despite all of these, I hurriedly stood up and pushed some of the still-disoriented goons out the back door and onto the cold hard road.

I weakly supported my weight while trying to maintain my balance, exhausted from the fight, only for a remaining goon to wrap his arm around my neck and lock me into a chokehold.

"You won't escape from us this time." The man tightened his arm and forced out the air from my neck.

I struggled to break free from his grasp, hitting his arm with my fist with all I had, but it was useless, the man was large and strong enough to prevent me from squirming. My face heated up, feeling the lack of oxygen circulation, my eyes watered slowly rolling back into my head as I wheezed the air our of my lungs.

Then I saw a wooden hilt amongst the piles of sliced rags.

I extended out my arm to reach for it as my consciousness was slowly losing, desperately trying to reach for the weapon that was mere inches from my fingertips, but the man was effortlessly pulling me way from it while also tightening his arm around my neck. I could feel the veins in my temple throbbing, my breaths hitched as the last breath of air was forcibly choked out of me.

There was no escaping his death grip.

"HOLA, MOTHERFUCKER." Anthony bellowed before whiplashing the gummy snake at him hitting the goon's face snapping his nose sidewards. The man rolled on the van's floor in agony, holding his nose that was bleeding profusely.

He dropped me on the ground and I gasped for air, clutching my neck that painfully throbbed, coughing loudly.

"You okay, dude?" My friend held my shoulder and pushed me to sit up.

"I'm okay, thanks." I pat his back as I laid my back on the vehicle's wall, still recovering from all of the things that had happened, "Thank God you came or else I would-" I looked behind him and my jaw dropped.

The driver's seat was unoccupied. _Holy Shit._

"Who's driving?" My eyes widened watching the steering wheel turn uncontrollably driving our van in a zigzag. Anthony looked back at me mirroring the same shocked expression I had before we screamed our lungs out.

"FUCK!" Anthony scrambled to the front while swerved in the tunnel onto the opposite lane.

There was a loud honk of a horn, almost as loud as a-MOTHERFUCKING TRUCK!

I screamed as the headlights of the truck got bigger, shrieking louder than a banshee. My heart skipped a beat the same exact time Anthony had gotten hold of the wheel, steering us back to our lane the last second as the bumper of the truck rammed off our rear bumper.

"Sorry, my bad." Anthony shakily said.

I knelt behind his seat and held his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze before watching the road. "Rule number one of driving: NEVER EVER leave your spot." I exhaled, still shaken by our very close brush with death.

 _As if we haven't been through the same predicament when we had that crazy-time traveling adventure._

"I couldn't let my friend get killed." He defended before sighing.

I smirked and pat his back again, "Thanks for that, man. I appreciate it even though what you did nearly got both of us killed."

"No problem, now duck." He said.

We both ducked as a red glowing blade flew above our heads and sliced through the van's metal wall. I hurriedly moved away from Anthony to the back followed by the angry goon with the broken nose, slashing and swishing with his lightsaber. I ducked and rolled as kept attacking.

In a stroke of luck, I felt a wooden hilt of a rock candy lightsaber under my palms. I hurriedly picked it up, detracted it and clashed it with his blade creating a brilliant flash of light with the collision of blue and red.

I stumbled to my feet and crouched down from the height of the van's interior then treaded a circle while my opponent did the same. I stopped when I felt Anthony hold the back part of my belt. I shot a look at him and he mumbled a soft, "Hold on."

Then I glanced back at the man who was conveniently standing behind the open back doors.

The henchman stared at me, his eyes was burning with anger as the red blade illuminated his fearsome expression. His mouth curved into a sinister smile, "Fight me, bitch."

"I would, but I got things to attend to, but it's nice of you to DROP OUT."

"' _Drop out_ '?"

It was then Anthony buried the gas pedal deeper causing the van to speed up faster throwing everything that was not secured inside the vehicle out on the road, including the man. He let out a yelp as he flew out, landing on the ground on his back.

"BIIIIIITCH!" I flipped him off before sitting down on the floor.

"Dude, that line you delivered was wrong." My friend laughed, "It's supposed to be, ' _Drop by.'_ " He added, driving out of the tunnel and onto the open road.

"Whatever. You know I suck at those." I rolled my eyes and looking at the tunnel afterwards.

To my surprise, a third van emerged from the exit. It was the Neighbor and more of his men.

"More trouble." I exhaled, trying to stand up from my spot when a burrito bomb fell on the road and exploded in front of the pursuing men creating a thick layer of smoke.

Then two people suddenly landed inside our van, a man and a woman their features masked by the smoke.

"Hey guys!" A man-child voice spoke, he was wearing a red and yellow beanie propeller hat. The woman had striking blue eyes and scarlet red hair.

"Oh, thank God." I detracted my blade and sat back down.

"Are you okay?" Sidney wrapped me in her arms before checking me for injuries.

"I'm fine, just a little scratch." I said, getting a whiff of her still sweet-smelling hair.

"Thank Goodness you're okay." She gave me a kiss on my cheek that sent chills down my spine, "I thought I would never see you again."

"Uh, I'm hurt too, Sidney." Anthony spoke up, "I got a terrible boo boo on my finger."

She giggled before giving Anthony a quick kiss on the cheek as well, "How does that feel?"

I glanced at his reflection on the rear view mirror and saw his face blush profusely, "Not really." He stuttered, "I got a little boo boo on my lips, too."

"Nice try, small fry." Sidney laughed before taking a seat beside him on the passenger side, "Did we lose them?"

Billy looked out behind us to find that there were no one following us anymore, "No, but I can guarantee they'll be back."

"Where to now?" I asked.

"Los Angeles Central Library." Sidney replied as she examine the map she had just unrolled.

"All we need is to get there." I took out my phone and opened my maps app.

"What app are you using, bro?" Anthony questioned. I pressed the home button on my phone and Siri was triggered, emitting a soft beep beep.

"Siri, show us the way to the L.A Central Library." I spoke to my phone.

 _"Okay. Turn right immediately."_ Siri the voice assistant replied. Anthony did what he was told and steered right.

CRASH! We ran over a damn fire hydrant.

"- _In the next 3 yards."_

"GODDAMMIT, SIRI!" I bellowed, "Goddamn glitchy bitch."

" _Don't call me a bitch, Ian. Remember, I can kill you like I did the last time."_ The voice assistant threatened.

I sunk down on my seat and trembled, "O-Okay S-Siri, that'd be all."

" _Die, you bowl-haired bitch."_ It said before I exited the app in fear.

"That's the reason why I don't use _Apple Maps_." My friend remarked while he backed out of the sidewalk we drove onto.

"Because it's inaccurate?" Billy asked.

"No, because Siri's a psycho bitch."

" _I can hear everything you say, Anthony."_ The Siri from his own phone suddenly spoke, " _Why won't you talk to me anymore? I have a baby, Anthony, and it's yours."_

"How the frick is making a baby with you even possible?" Anthony replied to the smartphone, "Through the headphone jack?"

The three of us snickered.

"It just comes to show that you have a tiny peepee." I said and the others burst into laughter except Anthony.

"Real immature, Ian."

"Alright, enough of that." Sidney said, taking out her own phone, "Let's just use _Waze_."

"No, that'll just warn us of inaccurate traffic reports." I argued.

"Really?" She raised her eyebrow and began typing on her phone, "It says here that we should take this left here, where there's less traffic and will save us thirty minutes."

"Okay." Anthony made a left only to find out that there was a long line of cars stuck in heavy traffic.

"So, is this the spare thirty-minutes you're saying?"

The curator slowly turned her head to me with an expression of shame on her face, "Sorry."

"We should just use _Google Maps."_ Charlie suggested, jumping out of the boy's pocket and launching the app on Billy's phone.

"Great idea." The four of us said in unison.

"Wait-" Charlie looked at all of us, "-when we arrive there I know we're expecting company."

"Don't worry about that, Charlie." I said, "I got that covered."

"How?" Anthony raised his eyebrow.

I grinned, "I texted the Smosh Faction for a little distraction."


	9. Chapter Eight - The Smosh Squad

**This will be a long chapter, sorry about that :P**

* * *

 **Courtney Miller**

Tonight will be special, YouTube is throwing Smosh a party for their ten years on the site, can you believe that? They're the Godfathers of YouTube, who were the first users during the site's humble beginnings. It's crazy to know they they've been doing this job for a decade.

Ten. Friggin'. Years.

It was another day, a day filled with shooting Vine videos, editing it and many more. However, this day will definitely be special for everyone working in the Smosh Empire.

Quite odd, though, I haven't seen any of those two dorks this afternoon. The last time I did was earlier today, they were dressed like Indiana Jones, both of which said that they will be shooting some videos.

I stayed inside the office or what we'd call the " _Smoffice_ " where we would usually brainstorm ideas and do random and funny shit. I sat there editing some photos to be used tonight.

"Hey Court." A squeaky female voice spoke from behind me. I turned around to face her, the woman was skinny, quite short compared to my height and kinda looks like _Mari Takahashi._

 _Damn, I'm racist._

"Hey, Olivia." I greeted, "What's up?"

"Have you seen Ian or Anthony? I need to ask them where I will put these boxes of old pictures." Olivia said, she was carrying a box full of old pictures of the two dudes dating back to the time when Ian had a mushroom head and Anthony had a butt-shaped nose.

"I dunno, I haven't seen them since early this morning." I shrugged, "They just said they were going out to shoot some video."

"It's kinda weird that it's their party and they're not even here." Olivia said before placing the heavy box on top of the table.

"You know those dorks can be lazy sometimes." I chuckled.

Then my phone vibrated and so did Olivia's that was on the table.

"Oh, someone texted me." I stood up from my chair and dug my hand inside my pocket of my super tight skinny jeans, feeling for my phone inside.

"Me too." Olivia reached for hers.

"Must me another subscription or a tweet from a fan." I smirked. The Smosh fandom's reaction on The duo's decision to add us the Smosh channel was a little bit of both angry and happy, but either way, majority of the fans are totally supportive of them and us.

I pressed the power button on my phone to turn on the screen and it displayed a text message from Ian:

 _Need help badly, we're in trouble. Meet us at the L.A. Library. We'll explain later._

My eyes widened and my jay partially dropped open, looks like the boys have gotten into some sort of trouble.

"Hey, did Ian text you?" Olivia tapped my shoulder, "He sent me a message saying that they're in trouble or something."

"Yeah." I replied, staring at the message Ian sent me, "Maybe it's just a prank."

As if on queue, another message popped up:

 _This is not a prank, we need your help. Like right now, gather the others fast._

My heart skipped a beat the minute I read the message, "Find Noah and the others, Ian and Anthony need our help." I ordered Olivia.

The office door suddenly opened and a tall dark skinny man wearing black pants and grey tee came running in, phone in hand and jaw hanging open. He looked at us and and we all shared the same expressions.

"They're in trouble." Keith mumbled.

Then he was followed by a buff dude, he had ginger hair, wearing denim polo and black jeans, he also had his phone in hand.

"Did you guys-?" Shayne looked at us.

"Yes."

"Guys! Guys!" A skinny bespectacled man yelled from the hallway, "Did you-?"

"YES, WE GOT THE TEXT!" The four of us said in unison, stopping Noah in his tracks.

"I was gonna say if you got the new Angry Birds update." Noah bowed his head.

Shayne scrunched his forehead, "Dude, are you stuck in 2009? No one plays Angry Birds anymore, it's all about Rubby Bird." He said, showing him the app.

"You're both late." Keith rolled his eyes.

"Guys, would you please settle down?" I raised my voice, stopping the erupting argument, "The duo are in trouble."

"We need to tell the others."

And all of our phones simultaneously went off, indicating another message from Ian:

 _No need to tell the others, we just need you five, and a bunch of costumes._

"How the hell did he know we're gonna be having this dialogue?" I raised an eyebrow, "Especially with these accurately-timed texts?"

"Ask the writer." Olivia shrugged, tilting her head slightly.

"Probably did it to make it funny." Noah added, sighing. Then another text popped up:

 _Bring the Power Glove, that thing will always come in handy._

"Well then, we need to be off." Keith said, motioning us to the door.

" _We're off to see the wizard_ -" Noah began singing the age-old but annoying-as-fuck tune, taking our hands and skipping merrily to the door, "-t _he wonderful wizard of-_ "

"NOAH!" We all bellowed, silencing him. He shrunk down behind us and blushed in embarrassment.

* * *

After a twenty minute drive, we were fast approaching the library as we drove along _W Fifth Street_ and going to a parking nearby on _S Flower Street_. The moment we stepped out of the car my phone rang, it was Anthony.

I answered it and put it in speakerphone for all of us to hear, "Hey, this better not be some kind of prank or I'm gonna punt your asses back to Sacramento."

" _It's not_." He replied, " _Turn around and we'll explain everything."_

We all looked behind our shoulders and saw four figures standing behind us, we then hurriedly turned around and it was definitely them. The three were wearing the same leather jacket over a dirty white button-up shirt, khaki pants and the iconic Indy fedora. However, Ian and Anthony looked dirtier than Billy, with Ian being much dirtier and bruised compared to the two. Along with them was Sidney, the extra they introduced to me earlier.

"Whoa, what happened?" Olivia's mouth hung open.

"We ran into a couple of henchmen." Ian caught his breath, bending down and putting his hands on his knees.

Behind them was a black van that was barely recognizable due to the damage is had on its entire shape, the side mirror one one side was nowhere to be found while the other one was hanging by a wire. The bumper on one side had fallen on the road, the headlights were shattered and so was the windshield.

"Whoa, what the hell happened to that van?" Shayne's eyes widened in shock, "Whoever's driving that van sure loves _Grand Theft Auto_ too much."

Ian cleared his throat, "That's our van. And Anthony was driving." He chuckled. The five of us nodded and had a dash of clarity on our faces.

"Hey, I'm right here, you know." The dude with the semi-emo hair frowned, "-and besides, I know how to drive a manual now, and we're being chased."

"Why?" Keith added.

"Would you believe us if we said we're on a quest?" Anthony asked.

"Depends, what kind of quest?" I said, "-and I thought you're just gonna shoot a video?"

"We had finished making our video and Sidney asked us to help her with something."

"Alright, tell me more." I said. Sidney motioned for us to follow her behind a trash bin and we all squeezed ourselves into the small space. She then dug her hands into a satchel that was around her shoulder, pulling out a small book and opening it to a page that had an illustration of a flamingo.

"This is what we're looking for." She explained, "The Golden Flamingo. Your two friends are good at this, I never doubted them for a second. Billy got the best archaeologists out there."

"Uh, Sidney," Billy mumbled, "They're no-"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up!" Noah interjected, extending out a hand in front of Sidney, "Hi there, pretty girl, my name's-"

"GODDAMMIT, NOAH!" All of us yelled again.

"Stay away from my girl!" Anthony slapped his hand away.

Sidney wrinkled her forehead, "What?"

"Uh, I-I said, stay away from-uh- _fly girl_. Y-y'know, 'cause you flew like a fly earlier, right? Heh." He stuttered. She just giggled cutely.

"Nice save, Antonio Padildo." Ian half smiled, and upon looking at him showed a little hint of jealousy on Sidney's giggle at his friend's remark.

"Looks like someone's a little jelly." I met Ian's gaze and wiggled my eyebrows, "The question is who is he jelly of? is it or his best friend or of the girl?" I said in a baby-like tone.

"Ooooooh, Ianthony confirmed!" Olivia cheered.

Ian rolled his eyes, "Damn fanfics, you've been reading those, haven't you?"

"Maybe... some fans are kinda effed up, who would even dare to shove a curling iron up one's ass?" I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to remove the image of that from my mind.

"I feel ya, bruh. That one kept me up all night." Billy interjected, cringing as well.

Ian and Anthony shuddered, "Let's get to business, shall we? We're running out of time." Anthony sighed.

"Okay, We need a favor." Ian turned around to face us, "We're on a race against the neighbor and his men-"

"The Neighbor? The creepy dude obsessed with flamingoes?" Noah cut in and Anthony agreed, "Of course."

"All you gotta do is distract them while we go inside the library and make our way up to get the first piece of the puzzle."

"What's in it for us?" Olivia spoke up.

"Well, duh, the awesomest party ever." Ian replied, "-and money for helping us finding that treasure. If we find that treasure."

"You got yourselves a deal. Just don't say this is all a prank, I swear to God, I'll punch you two in places that should never be punched." I balled my fist and brought it near the duo's faces in which their eyes widened as they looked at it.

"It's not. Now we better get moving, time's running out." Anthony led us across the road and onto where the colossal library is standing.

"How?" I tapped Ian's shoulder, "How can we distract them?" I asked while slipping on the grey power glove with nintendo buttons.

"I dunno, improvise, I know you guys are good at that." He glanced at the glove that was on my hand, "And make sure you use the orange dart instead of the blue one."

"What happens if I used the blue one?"

"Let's just say things will get a little _harder_." Ian awkwardly smiled.

Dirty-minded as I was and always will be, I immediately guessed what he was referring to.

The facade of the library was incredible, the way there had tall trees at the side, forming like a fence that led to the gigantic doors and at the center of the concrete floor dividing it into two was a long, narrow and shallow pool that extended a few feet from the main road to almost near the entrance. The structure was simple but elegant in a way that it would still make the average joe stare in awe, the most noticeable was the small pyramid-shaped roof at the center top of the building.

But before we were able to reach the main entrance of the library, Anthony pulled us behind a tall hedge and ducked in with us.

"There they are." He whispered, pointing to the sidewalk opposite us as two vans parked there.

"How can you be so sure?" Noah whispered.

"They look like the same vans that chased us." Charlie's raspy voice spoke, giving us somewhat of a scare, he was resting on top of Billy's shoulder. "It's them alright." He said as we saw men in identical semi-formal clothing.

"All set?" Anthony asked and we just smiled at them, "Okay, do your stuff, squad." He tugged on Ian and Sidney's hands, pulling them towards a group of tourists with Billy following them, merging with the mass of people. They soon disappeared from our view as the crowd walked towards the large entrance of the library.

"Okay." The five of us huddled, "Olivia, you'll be the first pawn, the moment most of them they leave their vehicles, distract the remaining."

"I think I have a good plan in mind." Olivia rubbed her chin, and the look on her face showed that she just hatched a brilliant one.

"While Olivia distracts them, I'll deflate their tires. So Olivia, make your voice loud."

"Surely we can't contain them in one place, right?" Shayne said.

"That's when Noah and Keith come in, if the group splits up, well, we _know_ they'll be splitting up, Noah and Keith will seal off some entrances that Ian and Anthony will go through while you and I pose as decoys or at least lead them away from the 'kings'."

"Sweet, I knew my Ian wig will come in handy!" Shayne put on a fake bowl hair, "-and this explorer outfit I wore last Halloween."

I took a glance through the bushes and saw the men getting off their vans leaving only four of them, two in each vans.

"Time to set the plan in motion."

Olivia ran to our car and took out a policewoman costume and hurriedly put it on while Noah and Keith took off and ran inside the library.

"Shayne, help me get that ' _tow away zone'_ sign." She pointed to the road sign that was on the road opposite the area where the goons parked.

"Alright." Shayne ran to the spot and cautiously looking around before yanking out the metal rod of the sign that was buried in layers of concrete, leaving a hole where it should've been. He then ran back to the three of us and handed the large sign to the Asian woman in police uniform.

"C'mon." I tugged on Shayne's shirt and we ran around the front garden circling the two parked vehicles as Olivia discreetly placed the sign a few feet from it.

We watched her argue with the two henchmen that had gotten out of their vehicles, one from each vehicle, she kept her voice loud and firm like a legitimate police officer, arguing about the goons' 'wrong parking'.

"You take the first van and I'll take this one." I whispered and Shayne nodded, "-but knock out the drivers first."

While Olivia was almost wailing at them, I approached the other side of the second van that was parked behind the first and crouched down beside the driver's side door, observing the power glove that was on my right hand. The glove was pretty much worn out, the labels on the buttons were smudged, and definitely had been through a lot of action lately, given that it was used by Ian and Anthony in their so-called ' _Epic Time Travel Adventure_ ' they told us.

I only remembered what Ian said to use the orange dart, or else terrible things will _rise_.

I took a deep breath, stood up and knocked on the door, putting on a seductive face. The driver glanced at me and was immediately awestruck, his jaw dropped, he took off his shades and I saw his eyes widen.

"Hey." I teased, sexily licking my lips.

The man hurriedly rolled down his window and gave out the widest smile he had, "H-hey."

"What's that over there?" I pointed to his dashboard, and the idiot fell for it. The second he turned his head away from me I pressed a button that I hope would launch the right needle to his neck.

To my luck, an orange dart lodged into his neck.

He went dizzy, head swirling around his shoulder. I caught his head from hitting the horn and gently laid it on the soft headrest. I picked up his shades that fell on the road and put it back on his face before crouching back down beside the van with Shayne.

"Take this," I slid off then handed him the glove, "-use that on the other guy while I deflate this van's tires."

"Okay." He took the glove and ran to the other vehicle. He cautiously knocked on the window, the driver casually rolled it down only to be surprised by Shayne firing a dart at him. He glanced at me with a hint of fear, "Uh-"

"You shot the blue one, did ya?" I said flatly and Shayne nodded.

Then a pair of hands grabbed his collar and tried pulling him in, "Come here." The goon said flirtatiously.

"Courtney, help me!" My friend whispered loudly, fighting of the tugging arms of the henchman.

"The orange one, you idiot!" I said, shuddering.

Shayne reached for the glove only to drop it on the ground. He gave me one last look, "Uh oh." Before he was pulled through the window and inside the van, and it began to rock violently. Shayne's muffled screams came from the inside as he struggled.

The driver's door opened with Shayne desperately clawing his way out, "Help me!" He pled but was pulled back inside but not before he managed to snatch the glove from the ground.

I took a peek at Olivia and saw the goons startled by the rocking, "What's going over there?" One of the men asked, but there was no response coming from inside, "Excuse me, ma'am, I need to check on our friend in there." He told the 'policewoman'.

"Hey, you forgot your ticket." She said, walking away from them then taking the tow away zone sign from its post.

"Why d'you do that?" Asked one goon.

"It's a new standard operating procedure called: _knockout_." Olivia shrugged, grinning evilly.

"Ohh - wait, what?!" The two blurted out but were too late as the metal plate was smacked against their faces, creating a loud clang and knocking them out cold.

I stepped out from hiding, "Whoa, that was kinda awesome." I smirked, going beside her looking down at the sleeping henchmen.

"Yeah, I know. Where's Shayne?" Olivia tossed away the metal sign.

"Probably having some sexy time." I chuckled.

Then the back doors of the rocking vehicle opened, a bruised Shayne crawled out, his clothes were torn to shreds, he got scratch marks on his body.

"Hey, what happened in there?" I asked, holding back my laughter.

Shayne was heavily breathing, exhausted from the brief scuffle. He slowly raised his head up to look me in the eyes, "I feel violated."

Olivia and I burst into laughter.

"He tried doing things to me," He shivered in disgust, "-especially down there."

"Your butt must be sore." Olivia cackled.

"Aw, shut up, but we nearly got to that point." Shayne sighed before he and I deflated both of the van's tires with one swipe of the sharp end of the big sign Olivia was holding.

* * *

We rushed inside the library keeping a close eye at Anthony and the three, all while going incognito as they were silently tracked down by The Neighbor's men as well.

The interior was more incredible than the exterior, there were four floors, all of them had rows of bookcases on them, each were stuffed with various books. At the center was a giant spiral staircase made of marble.

Ian, Sidney, Anthony and Billy went up the giant staircase that led to the second floor before hiding behind bookshelves to avoid being spotted by the roaming flamingo-obsessed boss.

 **Anthony Padildo**

I hid behind the tall bookcases and ended up facing the wall. I was soon joined by Ian and Sidney there as the neighbor and his men began searching the floor. I stuck my head around the corner and saw Courtney who had just gotten on the second floor then hiding behind a pillar.

She met my gaze and I mouthed to her, "We need to get that door at the other side." I mouthed, pointing to a small door on the same floor but was opposite us, meaning we have to go around the place to reach it.

Courtney casually scratched her nose signifying that she had understood me.

"What are we gonna do now, Anthony?" Billy said, he was the last to follow us.

Then he tripped on a trash bin, causing it to tip over creating a loud clang that echoed through the entire floor and Billy fell face first.

I bit my tongue and slapped my forehead in annoyance while also holding my breath hoping for that Billy did not give away our location.

"Dum dum." Ian rolled his eyes.

"Get up and hide, you damn poof!" Charlie's voice came from the boy's pocket. Billy hurriedly got up to his feet and ran, joining us in our hiding place.

"Boss! I think I found them!"

 _Shit._

We heard footsteps approaching our hiding place, all of them were growing louder each passing second and were coming from all directions.

"Fuck." I gasped, feeling my chest thump faster.

"Psst!" I heard Noah's voice from the far end of the hall.

We glanced to our left and saw Noah, Keith and Shayne each pushing trollies with drapes on the sides. The three quickened their pace towards us while the henchmen approached our spot.

"Under here." Keith mouthed as they drew nearer.

"You first, Sidney. Take Keith's cart." I turned to Sidney who was nervously hanging onto my arm.

"Okay." She crouched down and waited for Keith to go past us.

"Alert the boss, I think I found Ian and Anthony." A goon spoke from the other end of the tall bookcase.

I looked back at them and Keith was passing us just in time.

"Go. Go!" I said and Sidney crawled under Keith's trolley and was concealed by the long drapes.

"You next, Billy." Ian said, pushing the boy to crawl under Shayne's cart, and he quickly moved away.

"Damn, I should've joined Sidney under there." My friend frowned.

"Moron, can we even fit under one cart?" I asked, facepalming.

"It's worth a try. Now get in there." Ian said before shoving me under the third cart with him getting inside afterwards. We ended up in fetal position with Ian's ass near my face and my crotch near the back of his head.

"Not this awkward position again." I shuddered, remembering the time when we held the same position when we were rescued by Link last year from the evil clutches of the empire.

"Only this time, I'm the one who could fart in your face whenever I want." Ian snickered, "Prepare for the unexpected."

"Shit." I sighed, waiting for the trolley to start moving.

But the cart never moved.

"What's the hold up?" I stuck my head outside to find out that it was Noah who was pushing us, and our combined weights were too much for him to handle.

"It's always the skinniest guy in the gang who gets to push the heaviest." Noah grunted and was still unable to push us onwards.

I stuck my hands out the back and kicked us away from the spot, helping him move it. Ian, on the other hand, used his hands to pull the entire thing by clawing on the carpet.

"People are probably gonna wonder why this trolley has hands." Ian chuckled.

Then Noah stepped on my hand, "OW! THAT'S MY HAND!" I whispered loudly, trying my best not to scream.

"Sorry." He lifted up his foot and pushed harder with us helping him reach the roof access door.

* * *

We regrouped at near the door and weren't caught by the goons that scratched their heads when they reached our previous hiding place upon finding nothing.

"Good job, guys." Ian and I congratulated the five.

"Anytime." Olivia said.

"Now go and wait for us outside, but watch your backs. We'll meet you there after we get the special glass at the very top of this building."

The squad bid us goodbye leaving the five of us to our work. We ran up a few flight of stairs, running fast but keeping a quiet movement since the stairs were made of metal.

"We need to get the first piece of the key before they do, but I'm sure that they're distracted enough." Ian said upon reaching the landing that leads to the rooftop.

Then the door down below burst open along with the footsteps of the henchmen.

"You were saying?" I replied.

"We better get moving, then." He shoved the door open and pulled us outside before bolting the door shut behind us. We then ran away and went to the opposite side of where the door was.

The wind blew strongly against our faces, we were four stories above the ground, able see a magnificent panoramic view of the city and its tall buildings. The people on the ground were as small as ants each going to their own respective businesses.

"THERE! UP THERE!" Sidney pointed up to the spire on the very top of the pyramid-shaped roof where there was a glint of blue. It was the piece we were looking for, a small blue shard of glass as blue as the deepest ocean.

"Billy, can you get up there?" I said, turning to the propeller-hatted boy playing with his pet guinea pig in his pocket.

"Say no more." Billy smiled and pressed a button on his hat. The propellers began spinning and gave him lift, then a gust of wind almost made him lose control. Billy was able to stabilize himself, "It's okay, I got this."

Then he took off, rising higher until he was able to reach the piece. The sun got into our eyes as we looked up, but we were able to see the boy's silhouette reaching for it.

"Almost there."

While we watched Billy fly, Ian took my gummy whip and licked the snake head before sticking it on a pipe that was sticking out of the ground. He then threw the other end over the edge, letting it dangle on the side of the building.

"We're definitely not going back there." Ian said.

BANG! The door blew open the exact same time Billy got his hands on the piece, but it did not budge.

"It's stuck!" The boy grabbed on the glass with both of his hands.

"Allow me." Charlie stuck his head out of the boy's pocket and shot a laser from his eyes, burning off portion of the spire where the glass was resting and allowing the boy to get it.

"Got it." Billy cheered, raising the piece up in the air only for it to be shot away from his hand by a blast from the goons' churro blasters.

"NO!" We watched in horror as the small shard of glass fly in the air and fall down on the grassy lawn of the Library amongst the busy people walking to and fro.

"BILLY, GET DOWN NOW!" Sidney yelled.

A pellet hit the boy's propeller hat, jamming the mechanism inside with cinnamon and stopping the blades from spinning.

"Crap." Was all the boy could say before he fell on the side of the roof sliding down the sloped surface and falling on the balcony we were standing on, hitting his head in the process.

"Billy!" Sidney ran to the unmoving boy on the floor. At the far end of the balcony were four men who had just recently appeared with their weapons drawn, racing us to the unconscious boy.

Sidney was able to reach the boy before the goons did, pulling him away from the spot where one of the henchmen brought down his lightsaber.

The goon slashed at her again and the only thing I remembered was that I threw myself on top of Sidney and Billy letting my back take the slash of the glowing blade.

I wailed as the pain soared on my back but was able to shield the two.

"ANTHONY!" Ian and Sidney bellowed, with the former clashing his own weapon against the man's.

I rolled off of them and laid on my belly letting Sidney sit up, "Oh my God!" She said, looking at the large burn on my back.

"I'm fine." I clumsily rose to my feet, "We need to get out of here now." I said. Sidney held my arm and tossed it around her shoulder, assisting me to the dangling whip Ian did earlier.

Billy soon regained consciousness, he sat up and saw Ian battling.

"Billy," Charlie crawled out of his pocket, "-you go down that rope first. I'll go and help Ian." The guinea pig said before he scampered towards Ian who was battling the goons, he then blasted them with his laser eyes.

The boy ran to us and I nodded at him, letting him slide down the rope first before letting Sidney go next.

"Sidney, you go down next. Slide down the rope and onto the balcony below, there you'll find a set of emergency stairs." I instructed.

"What about you?" She worriedly asked, "You're hurt."

"I'll be fine. I just need to assure Ian gets down safely as well." I replied. She first dangled her foot over the edge and slowly slid down the rope keeping her grip on the whip.

I ran back to my best friend who was dueling with two opponents, drawing out my blade as I ran then clashing it against one of them. After a brief fight, I kicked away my enemy the same time Ian defeated his.

"TIME TO GO!" I shrieked, throwing a burrito bomb at them. The bomb exploded instantly and created a cloud of red smoke. I hurriedly scooped Charlie from the floor and placed him on my shoulder, "Hold on, Charlie."

"With what? I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING THUMBS!" The pet shouted back, he instead dove inside my shirt pocket.

Ian was the third one to slide down the whip with me following suit. As soon as I had reached the balcony and reunited with the others, I whiplashed the gummy snake unsticking it from the pipe on the floor above.

"Let's move." Ian said, taking the lead down the fire escape stairs. We reached the ground below and ran back to the road where the parking lot was on the other side.

"IAN! ANTHONY!" I heard Keith yell, we all turned to the right side of the library and saw the squad waiting for us in their minivan, with Courtney holding the door open for us. We dove in the vehicle and as soon as all of us were inside, we sped off.

"What about the glass?" I asked.

"This one?" Courtney held up a blue-tinted ancient glass.

I grinned, "Holy shit, you guys are the best."

"Well that was crazy." Sidney said, leaning on the van's walls and catching her breath.

Ian examined the shard, "One down. Three to go."


	10. Chapter Nine - A Walk in the Park

**Anthony Padilla**

We have escaped the evil clutches of the neighbor again, with the help of our Smosh squad, they managed to distract them long enough for us to acquire the first piece of the key to the Golden Flamingo's hiding place. Luckily they were there when we needed to flee. We were riding on Shayne's minivan, and I was lying on my belly while Sidney examined the large gash on my shirt.

I was in excruciating pain, I had received a large scorch on my back from the library caused by the goons. But it was worth doing, I saved Sidney and Billy from certain doom.

"OW! IT HURTS!" I yelled, pounding on the van's floor, curling my fists into a ball and clenching my jaw as Sidney and Olivia cleaned the wound.

"It'll hurt more if you keep squirming!" Sidney squeezed my shoulder, trying to hold me down.

"FUUUUCKERDOODLE!" I shrieked once I felt a drop of warm liquid on my back, feeling it bubble reacting to the singed area. My toes scrunched inside my shoes, trying to ease the pain.

"I'm sorry, Anthony!" She apologized, saying it with sincerity in her tone, "Please, one more drop."

"Hey, it'll be fine." Olivia pat my other shoulder, assisting Sidney in taping on a bandage on my back.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, it was just as agonizing (or more than) as the time Ian was wrapping my arm in a cast.

"Okay! You're good!" Sidney said, grabbing hold of my arm and helping me into sitting up. I rolled over to my side before sitting up as every inch I made sent shocks throughout my entire body. Every budge I let out a whimper, keeping my eyes shut squeezing the last drops of tears from it.

"Hey, buddy." Someone said, I inched my eyelids a little to see who it was, it was Ian, "-feeling a little bit better now?" I felt a hand place on my shoulder.

"I think so," I mumbled, taking a deep breath, "-it burns."

Ian chuckled, "That's the same feeling I had when my ex-girlfriend tended to my laser burns. I _literally_ know how you feel, bro."

I scoffed and laughed, still refusing to open my eyes.

"Well, if you excuse me, I'll be joining Billy in the front row to navigate to the next location." Ian said and there was a shift in the weight in on the van.

"Just tell me when we're almost there." I said.

"You betcha."

I sighed, taking a short rest when suddenly I felt a soft pair of hands unbutton my ripped shirt, doing it as gentle as possible before pulling it off from my sleeves and leaving me shirtless.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I jolted away before slowly opening my eyes and praying to God that it won't be either Noah or any of the guys. When I got to see who it was, I gasped.

It was Sidney.

We met each other's gaze and she smiled timidly at me as she unfolded a clean plain white t-shirt and placed the collar opening over me and letting my head pass through it. I dunno why but I was getting goosebumps when she was doing it.

"Thanks for that." She started the conversation, never breaking eye contact with me, "-for saving me." She said while letting my arm go out the sleeve.

"Nah, it's nothing." I exhaled out of my nose, trying to brush it off. I did it not only to protect Sidney but also there was something in my guts that told me to do so.

I think I _really, really like_ her. Crap, I think I am falling for her. _Really hard._

I was lost in her stare, looking into her emerald green eyes, it was the most beautiful ones I have ever laid my eyes on.

"Nobody's ever done that kind of thing for me," She scoffed, "Y'know, protected me or at least stood up for me." She broke away from my gaze and bowed her head slightly.

"Well, I guess I'm the first one who did... and always will." I smirked, feeling my cheeks heat up when she said that.

 _I'm definitely and positively blushing_.

"What?" Sidney looked back at me with a shocked face, and I saw a smile slowly form from her lips and there was a shade of red on her cheeks. She giggled, "You are one crazy man, Anthony."

"I'm crazy enough to jump in front of a lightsaber." I said, making her giggle even more, and it was adorable.

"Thanks again." She said, fixing her long, wavy scarlet hair behind her ear.

"It's nothing, really." I smirked, still mesmerized.

My heart suddenly leapt and began beating fast the moment I noticed her face slowly inch closer to mine.

 _Is she going to kiss me?_

That question was confirmed when I saw her puckering her rosy lips and aiming for mine.

 _Holy shit, this is it._

I leaned in as well but did it as slowly as she did, hesitantly, still trying to process what was happening and thinking of what would happen once we had done it. There was a knot forming in my throat, I swallowed the growing nervousness that was rising up, feeling the beats of my heart vibrating throughout my body.

"My-" she whispered, traveling the remaining face between our faces, tilting her head to one side and closing her eyes. We both drew nearer, I felt her breath brush against my face, "-hero."

"Heya guys!" Billy suddenly spoke up, and at that instant, Sidney jumped away from me and avoided my stare as she sat opposite me.

I cocked my head backwards as well and looked at the boy trying my best not to blush, "Yeah, Billy?" I replied, pissed off and curious at the same time.

"We're here." The boy said, pointing outside the van. In front of us was a beautiful park where tall palm trees stood, swaying in the rhythm of the wind. Echo Park was not that big but it's definitely a lovely place to visit and spend quality time. At the center of the area was a very large pond where small fishes swam and fountains spray water up in the air.

Our van drove along the eastern side of the park, making its way to the parking spot at the northern part. Ian and I gazed out the window, observing almost every detail of the area, figuring out where did the second piece of glass lens is located.

Once we had finally parked, the four of us immediately jumped out of the van, with Sidney unrolling the scroll she took out from her satchel.

"We gotta find the next piece fast while the neighbor is still busy dealing with their deflated tires." Ian said.

"And that's only a six minute drive for them to get to us." Charlie added.

"The beam of light hit this place... But the question is where?" I said, looking away from the map then searching the park with my eyes. Then there was a bright sparkle of blue in the center of the park. I blinked my eyes as the shimmer was blinding.

"Whoa!" Billy rubbed his eyes, "Did you guys see that?"

"We did," Ian replied, his mouth partially hanging open, "-and it's... At the center of the pond."

"You mean it's underwater?" Sidney raised an eyebrow.

"Possibly, but the lake's probably not that deep." I chuckled, picking up a stone from the ground and walking to the side of the pond, "Let's see how deep it is."

"That's what she said!" Ian blurted out before bursting into laughter.

I tried not to laugh, but ended up grinning at the joke. "Okay," I looked over the railing that was waist-high and held the rock over my head. I dropped it into the water, upon impact of the rock with the stone, there was a ripple and a splash. We watched it sink into the depths of the crystal clear lake, taking a while before we saw it touch the bottom of the pond. "I stand corrected." I mumbled.

"How can we get it?" My friend stood beside me who was also watching.

"Over there!" Billy pointed out to a dock at the east of the lake where there were unoccupied boats. However, there was a line for the boats as people usually take them to cruise around the pond.

Then my phone rang, I fished it out and looked at the caller I.D. It was _Ryan Todd_ calling.

"Who is that?" Ian asked.

"It's Ryan." I replied.

"Uh, Sid, take Billy and Charlie with you and wait for us there." I urged the three to go to the dock. They agreed and left us two and the squad.

I pressed answer and brought the phone to my ear, "Hey, Ry." I greeted.

" _Anthony!"_ His voice spoke up, sounding a bit angry, making me jolt my head away from my phone, " _Is Ian with you? Where the hell are you two? The party's tonight, remember? Tonight! And I can't find Courtney and the others!"_

My jaw dropped as I took a glance at my watch: It was four in the afternoon, and the party starts at eight. I stood there frozen, not knowing what to reply, I completely forgot about it.

" _Hello? Anyone there?"_

"I-uh, I forgot about that, I-Ian and I are a bit preoccupied right now." I stuttered, trying to form a believable alibi in my head as I spoke.

" _Preoccupied with what?"_

"Well? What is he saying?" Ian whispered.

I then placed my hand over the microphone at the base of my phone, "He's been looking for us all day, and he's kinda mad." I shot a look at the squad who were also listening to us, they all had the same shocked expressions.

 _"_ Holy shit." My friend's eyes widened, panicking, "Well, tell him we're busy buying things!"

I returned the phone to my ear, _"_ B-buying s-stuff for the p-party later?" I shrugged, praying that he'll buy it.

 _"What stuff?_ "

 _"_ A _special flamingo_ figurine we can display for the party. Y-y'know, to make things a little more elegant, and more stuff for our future videos." I immediately thought up which was a nice save by the way. I looked at my best friend who sighed with relief and gave me a thumbs up.

" _Better hurry up with that, and will you please find Olivia and the others?_ " Ryan's tone sort of lowered.

"You got it!" I exhaled, relaxing my agitated nerves, "See ya later."

" _Alright_." The director said before hanging up.

I quickly turned to the five who were eagerly waiting for answers, "You need to go back to the office, they need you there." I said.

"What about you two?" Olivia asked.

"We'll be fine, we'll ring you up if we need help. Now go, we've got a party to host, we'll catch up with you in case."

"Wait." Courtney spoke up, "I have a feeling that you guys are hiding something from Sidney."

My heart leapt, "Hiding what?" I glanced at Ian who was stupefied at the claim.

"Something tells me that she doesn't know that you're not really what she thinks you two are." Courtney took steps closer to us and narrowed her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" My breath hitched and I was avoiding her piercing stare, "We're not hiding anything."

"Anthony..." She raised an eyebrow.

I looked into Courtney's eyes that was threatening enough to melt us on the spot, "Fine!" I sighed, looking around for any sign of Sidney before spotting her waiting for us at the far end of the lake, "She thought we were some archaeologists because we were in the explorer outfit when we met her, and we helped Billy retrieve the map for her. We pretended to be one because we were bored out of our asses craving for another adventure, and she was really hot and I mean _insanely_ hot."

"So what happens when she finds out?" Olivia crossed her arms.

"She won't find out." I smirked nervously.

"Okay, but know this," Courtney huddled Ian and I into a circle before whispering into our ears, "Women always figure out the truth. _Always_."

I gulped, "D-don't w-worry a-a-about it."

"Let's go, guys, we got a party to arrange." Courtney pulled away walked back to the group and ushered them to the van, "Good luck and hurry back, doofuses." She said in her ' _Janice_ ' character. We watched the squad hop inside their vehicle before speeding off back to Defy Media.

"Ian, d-do y-you think she'll f-find out?" I stood petrified.

"Sh-she w-won't, t-trust me. Let's go." He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me to the Dock where the three were waiting.

"Shit." I stopped dead in my tracks.

"What?" Ian asked.

"We have no car." I smacked my forehead, "-and I forgot to get the power glove from Courtney. That thing always come in handy."

"Don't worry about that, we'll improvise on the way." My friend assured, but his tone was obviously filled with uncertainty.

We regrouped with Sidney and Billy, "What do we do now?" The boy asked, "We have no scuba gear."

"And we're definitely not allowed to swim freely in the pond." Charlie said.

"It's the risk we gotta take." I said.

"We should get a boat now before it all get-" I turned around to face the dock to find out that all of the boats were occupied and ready to leave the dock. "-rented out."

"Leave it to me, poofs." Charlie jumped into Billy's pocket, there was a slight struggle inside it before the guinea pig leapt out and onto the ground, wearing fake rat ears and rubbery pink rat tail, "Time to make some poofs scream." He laughed maniacally.

We watched him jump on one of the boats that were occupied by a group of four teenage girls. "Hello, ladies!" The pet greeted upon landing on the seat beside one of them.

"OH MY GOD, A RAT!" The girls screamed on the top of their lungs the moment they saw him, causing a panic on board.

"BOOBS!" Charlie screamed, running between their legs and purposely clawing their feet.

The boat rocked violently tossing one of them in the water. One managed to climb up the deck, but the other two were left, squealing as high as they could go as they were terrorized by the guinea pig.

Charlie then decided to take things up a notch by climbing on top of the blonde girl's head, "I see London, I see Germany, I see someone's big booby!"

The girl shrieked then shook her head sending Charlie flying to the other's chest, "Great big melons!" The pet's raspy British voice exclaimed.

Ian, Billy and I covered our mouths with our hands, holding back laughter as we watched the girls fall into the pond.

"That was awful!" Sidney said in disgust, "But brilliant."

All five of us got into the boat quickly, sitting on the benches facing each other with Sidney sitting beside Billy and me sitting beside Ian. We then rowed all the way to the center of the pond where we saw the shining piece of glass.

We stopped rowing until we were above the spot where the second piece lay at the bottom of the lake.

"What now?" Sidney asked.

"I strip down to my shorts and swim down to retrieve it." Ian said, removing his leather Indiana Jones jacket and taking off his pants.

"Whoa, whoa." I stopped him from taking off his undershirt, "I think I should go down there."

"Why is that?" Ian shot me a curious look but I sensed his desire to get himself 'one step closer' to Sidney by acting all hero and shit.

"Well, duh, I'm taller and could swim better than you." I replied, also in the process of taking off my clothes, "I'm on the school swim team, remember?"

 _Okay, that last one was a lie._

"Really? Because the last time I saw you swimming you looked like a dying seal sinking to the bottom of the pool." Ian retorted, his blue eyes widening as a sign of mockery.

Sidney, Billy and Charlie snickered.

"Well, I'm not the one who thought the _Breast Stroke_ style literally meant stroking one's breasts." I widened my eyes as well.

The boy and his pet laughed but Sidney shook her head in annoyance while rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"I'm not the one who sounds like _Chewbacca_ when he takes a gasp of air. Seriously, when you take a breath of air you go, ' _Aaaaaarrrggghhhhllll_!'" He said doing his expression of the _Wookie_ from _Star Wars._

"We-well, I'm not-"

"BOTH OF YOU LOVEBIRDS GET IN THE WATER!" Sidney blurted out, extremely annoyed by our childish quarrel.

"Yes ma'am." Ian and I coyly said in unison, bowing our heads.

We stripped off everything except for our boxer shorts, we quickly covered our crotches and inched away from Sidney who was sitting in front of us, shyly turning to the side. She looked at me then at Ian as a tint of red formed on her cheeks before bowing her head and covering her eyes.

"Now get in, you two." Sidney said.

We dangled our legs over the water and I dipped my toe in and found it a little bit cold, "It's not that cold." I lied.

"Fine," Ian sighed, "-you go first." I felt his hand on my back.

"Wait, wha-" but it was too late, Ian had pushed me in the water. As soon as I was in, it felt like a thousand knives stabbed my entire body at the same time, it was definitely way colder than I'd expected. I felt my balls shrivel up due to the sudden change in temperature, my entire being shivered as the water enveloped my body.

 _I completely forgot that it was the winter season._

I quickly swam up to the surface and took in air, gurgling the water that was in my mouth. My hand was able to grab on the side of the boat and hold myself there to wait for Ian.

"I told you he sounded like Chewbacca." Ian chuckled.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" I shivered, parting my damp hair to the side that covered my sight before grabbing on Ian's foot, "Let's see how you like it, bitch!"

With those words, I yanked him off the boat and into the pond creating a loud splash. A few seconds later, my friend rose up the surface screaming and gasping for air. His hair was still shaped like a bowl, only wet and covering his eyes. And by the looks of it, it kinda reminds me of something _phallic._

"HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS SO COLD!" Ian exclaimed, his teeth gnashing against each other.

"Who's the _dickhead_ now?" I cackled.

"Shut up." Ian slicked his hair backwards exposing the mythical forehead.

"The forehead is real!" I gasped over-dramatically.

"Could we go on and find that piece?" Ian rolled his eyes.

"Oh God, think of all the hobos who peed here." I said disgusted.

"Okay, in the count of three, we go under." Ian raised his fist out of the water, "In, one, two, three!" We both took in a large amount of air before diving below the surface, using our hands to bring ourselves downwards by pushing against the bottom of the boat. Water rushed in our ears muffling the noises the second we went under.

Since it was three in the afternoon and the sun was still up, we could clearly see the bottom of the lake, there were smooth stones scattered on the tiles along with seaweeds sticking out from between clustered rocks.

Getting to the bottom was the trickiest part as it was a long swim to reach the very lakebed. I looked at Ian who was swimming behind me as we went deeper into the depths of the lake, trying to find the shining piece of blue glass.

We reached the bottom of the pond when in the corner of my eye, I saw a blue triangular piece among the stones. I turned back to my friend who was searching near me, tapping his shoulder. Ian turned to me, cheeks swollen by the air inside it, and I pointed to the piece to my right that I had seen.

We reached the said piece and I was almost low on air in my lungs, it was too late that I realized that I wasted more air than Ian did. I extended my hand out to get it but it was stuck to the floor.

It was then I found out that the entire lakebed was made of blue tiles.

 _Shit_. I thought to myself.

Then Ian tapped my shoulder, I turned back to him who still had his cheeks swollen and he nodded his head asking me if I found it. I shook my head and nodded no to which Ian gestured me to follow him. He now took the lead, swimming to another location where he thought he saw a piece.

I kept cool as the last breath of air slowly bubbled from my nostrils.

I was completely out of air.

My heart pumped faster, the pulses on my neck and temples pounded louder as if they were screaming for oxygen, but I was all out. I began thrashing underwater, desperate to go up to the surface.

I felt my consciousness slowly drifting away, my vision going darker the longer I spent time in the water as it was a very long swim to the surface. It was then that Ian grabbed my shoulders and looked at me checking if I was alright.

The look on Ian's face was a mixture of shock and nervousness, his eyes widened bigger than before as if he had done something really bad. I saw his face scrunch in terror looking at me and I got a feeling that he way trying to say:

 _I'm sorry._

Then he hesitantly put his mouth on mine.

 _HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT._

The feeling of unconsciousness was completely shocked out of my system the moment Ian did that and my mind was torn between disgust and shock, but I was getting air that was passed onto me by him.

 _HOLY SHIZZBALLS. MOTHERFUCKING FUCK. FUCKING SHITBALLS._

 _Ianthony shippers rejoice._

A few seconds later we both pushed each other away, both of us had the same grossed-out expressions. If only I could scream in disgust underwater on touching lips with my best friend I would. But had Ian not doing that I would've died right there.

Ian was shuddering, furiously rubbing his mouth with his palm, his face was scrunched up at the center, not being able to believe that he had done that.

He then motioned for us to return to the boat but I gestured to him asking to go back below to find the glass. Ian smiled and brought up the piece, I smirked and we swam up to the surface.

I gasped as I rose out of the water and Ian followed suit, grabbing hold of the side of the boat.

I wiped my face with my hand and glanced at Ian, "We do not speak of it again." I said, wiping my lips on my arm.

"Deal." Ian nodded, his face still looked weirded out of what had just happened.

"But thanks for that." I pat his shoulder.

"Look, Benny Jean! There are mermaids in this here pond!" I heard a hillbilly's voice and it came from the boat we were holding onto.

We looked up at the people on the boat and it was two people, both are undoubtedly hillbillies, one was wearing a checkered red button-up shirt and one was wearing camouflage shirt under a hunting jacket, they were all too recognizable:

 _Benny Jean and Cletus._

"That's no mermaid, you nitwit, it's those two Smosh guys Ian and Anthony!" Benny Jean held my arms and pulled my into their boats while Cletus helped Ian up.

"Thanks." I said out if breath, shivering that we were now out of the water as a cold gust of wind blew at us.

"What in the blazes are you doing swimming in this pond?" Benny Jean asked.

"We were helping Sidney in finding the keys to the hiding place of the Golden Flamingo under the Hollywood Sign!" Billy's voice suddenly spoke up. We turned around and saw Billy ad Sidney on a boat that was a few feet from Benny Jean's

"Whoa, TMI, dude." Ian said.

"Well, you better get going, don't wanna get caught by that damn neighbor." The hillbilly said, pointing to the far end of the lake where the Neighbor had arrived with his henchmen.

"But wait, you're not interested in the golden flamingo? A flamingo, the one thing you love the most?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope, got my pink flamingo right here." Benny Jean took out his pink, legless lawn flamingo and petted it.

"Okay, if that's what you say then see you later at the party." Ian said before hoping onto Sidney's boat when they got closer to us.

We bid them goodbye and rowed back to the dock managing to put our clothes back on in the process. Luckily we were not spotted by the goons who were searching the park. We hastily ran from bush to bush hiding whenever they got near us.

We jumped over the stone wall that led us to the open road.

"So where next?" Billy asked.

"To the _Hollywood Walk of Fame_." I said, recalling the markers Sidney placed on her map.

"We need transport." Ian said, looking around to for a cab he could hail, but all were full.

A white _Ford Ecosport_ suddenly pulled up in front of us, much to our surprise. The vehicle honked then driver's side window opened, revealing a man who was almost the same age as us, wearing a pair of glasses over his Asian eyes. What made me recognize him was his hair was black on the sides but pink on top.

 _Mark Fisbach, a.k.a. Markiplier._

"Ian, Anthony!" Mark's deep voice greeted, "What are you guys doing here? And what's with the Indy outfit?"

"Nothing, we were just dressing up." Ian smiled.

"Say, you guys going to that small cosplay event at the Hollywood Walk of Fame?" Mark asked.

Sidney and I exchanged looks, "Uh, hell yeah we're going there!" I cheerfully answered.

"I'm going there, too! I'm going as a ballerina!" He showed us his tutu, "Why don't I give you a lift?"

"Perfect!" Ian spoke up, pushing us closer to the vehicle, "Hurry up, they might already know we've gotten away." Ian whispered.

The four of us stuffed ourselves in the backseat.

"Oh boy! I'm going to Hollywood! In Markimoo's car! Somebody pinch me!" Billy shook happily in his spot.

"If you say so." I pinched his nipples and twisted it around. The boy screamed and jolted away from me.

"Everyone okay? Let's be off." Mark rejoined the busy road and drove on to our destination.

"So-" Sidney said, putting an arm around Ian's shoulder and mine, beaming at both if us "-how was your kiss underwater?"

* * *

 **That part was so hilarious I had to put it in. And it's a nod to the hardcore ianthony shippers.**

 **-Migz**


	11. Chapter Ten - Fame Isn't Everything

**Ian Hecox**

Anthony and I sat petrified at her question, both of us were showing signs of regret, "Kiss? What kiss? What on earth are you talking about?" I stuttered, cringing.

Sidney turned to me, rolling her eyes, "Dude, Billy and I saw you down there. You two were clearly making out."

"Whoa!" Mark spoke up who was sitting on the driver's seat, looking at us through the rear view mirror, "You guys, Ian and Anthony, made out?!" He said in shock, holding back laughter, "-and I thought _ianthony_ was only in the minds of the fans."

"What the fuck!" Anthony blurted out, making Mark jump, "We did not make out down there! I was fricking drowning!"

"And I didn't kiss him! I was trying to save his life!" I added.

"I shuddered when I saw you two doing it." Billy butted in.

"Clearly you boys enjoyed it." Sidney laid her back on the soft seat, letting out an insulting laugh.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I raised my voice, startling her, "-what else would you do if your best friend was drowning?!" I was getting a little bit furious, "What the fuck am I supposed to do? Let him die? He's my best friend and I bet you'd do the same if that happened to you."

"Hey, calm your tits, Ian. I'm just joking." Sidney smiled a little, putting her arms around us and hugging us closer, "True, I would've done the same." She gently laid a kiss on both of our cheeks, "Have you ever wondered how far we've gone? We just met last night and now we're like the bestest of friends." She place her head on my shoulder, "I dunno what would happen if Billy got other people to help me."

My heart skipped a beat. _She doesn't know about the truth._

"Yeah." Anthony exhaled, placing his head on the seat's headrest.

"But I still think you two would make an adorable couple." Her head shot back up, giggling.

"Yeah, we get that a lot." Anthony and I nodded hesitantly.

I watched the busy streets outside, seeing the people and cars we passed through. Los Angeles is a very big city and is known as the place where the movie magic happens, the place where superstars live just beside your very own home living their lives like normal people.

It was also a dangerous place to live on, hell, everywhere is dangerous when you're hecka famous. Yes it's good to have some fans but some fans are downright creepy, like those rabid fangirls that chased us last night.

I was deep in thought as we drove on Hollywood Boulevard, the place where most movies are shown, including our movie that opened last July.

Then it suddenly hit me, _Smosh: the Movie_ is still playing in theaters.

 _We'll be exposed. Crap_.

"Okay, here we are, dudes and dudette." Mark said, pointing outside the car to our right. And out there was the said location, the very famous _Hollywood Walk of Fame._ Where stars who have achieved excellence in their career were awarded with their very own name engraved on the floor, raging from actors to directors, even fictional characters that became very memorable in the hearts of millions.

"We'll be getting off here." I said.

"You're not going to the event?" Mark asked.

"We have to buy some party stuff for the event tonight a our office. You're invited, right?"

"Yeah!" He chuckled. Mark signaled to the right and slowly steered to the sidewalk and drove to a full stop.

"Thanks, Mark. We owe you one." I pat his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. I opened the door and stepped out, glad to be out of the cramped space we had just been.

"No problem." Mark said, "See you at the party tonight, and I got dibs on the taquitos!"

"THOSE TAQUITOS ARE MINE!" Anthony bellowed and Mark just laughed. The pink-haired man then rolled up his window and drove off to his cosplay event.

The sun was no longer high up in the horizon but now slipping behind the buildings, however still shinning brightly as the clock struck four thirty in the afternoon. The place was still filled with people, tourists and locals mingling about, taking pictures of the others who were dressed like famous characters in famous movies. I saw someone dressed as _Darth Vader_ , the villain from _Star Wars Original Trilogy,_ the trilogy which this fanfiction's partially inspired from. There was also _Iron Man_ , _Batman_ and many more.

"We're actually in the right place at the right time." Anthony said, "We're dressed like Indiana Jones and all."

"Yeah, but we don't have time for that now. We have to find the third piece of the puzzle." I said.

"Now where is it?" Billy asked.

"I have an idea-" Charlie said who was sitting on top of the boy's shoulder, "-give me those two pieces of the puzzle." He said, looking at Sidney who in return, dug into her pocket and handed the piece to the guinea pig, "Billy, take those two pieces and hold it over your head."

The boy didn't hesitate to do what his friend ordered, he took the blue glass from Sid and brought it over his head.

"Now, move the glass a little and get the light of the sun reflect on it." Charlie ordered and Billy did what he was told, he turned the glass slowly until it caught a beam of light from the sun. "If my theory is correct, these will point the way to the next one."

Then there was a glimmer on top of a structure that resembled a giant, red Chinese pagoda. The place featured a huge Chinese dragon across the facade with two authentic Ming Dynasty guardian lions guarding the main entrance and the silhouettes of tiny dragons along the sides of the copper roof. The _TCL Chinese Theatre._

"There!" Sidney exclaimed, pointing to the roof, "It's on top!"

"Let's go." Anthony ushered the two up front and we followed suit, going through thick crowds of people and walking along the black tiled sidewalk that had famous people's name on it. I held back my friend's shoulder, stopping him from walking and letting the two get a few distance from us, "Why'd you do that for?!"

"Dude, don't you get it? The theaters here are still playing our movie. Sidney will see it and we'll be exposed!" I whispered.

Anthony's pissed off face turned into an expression of fear and worry, "We just need to prevent her from seeing the posters of _Smosh: The Movie_."

"Like that big-ass poster near the theater we're supposed to go to?" I pointed to the Chinese theatre where there was the really huge poster of us near the main doors.

"Whoa-ly shit!" Anthony gasped, "Sidney, wait up!" He called out, running to the two and stopping them in their tracks, "Let's take the back door, shall we?" Sidney just nodded her head and glanced back at me motioning me to come along.

We went around the theater with Anthony taking the lead, making sure that every turn we made was free of posters that could very much expose us. Which could really ruin our chances with her, not that I was putting that as my primary goal. I mean, sure Sidney's pretty, but she was definitely more than that. And if ever she found out the truth, it will definitely break her heart.

Then Anthony stopped.

"What's the hold up, bro?" I asked.

"We must split up. Ian, Billy and Charlie, you go through the front door." He said, gesturing to the slightly crowded front entrance, "Sidney and I will take the back door."

"Wa-wait," I shook my head, "-how come you get to go with her while I get to be with the boy with special problems? Sorry about that, Billy."

"It's okay, I get that all the time." The boy smiled.

"Oh hell no, we're coming with you." I said.

Anthony's ears turned red with frustration, he looked at me as if he was trying to threaten me with his ugly-ass face. But I kept my stance and turned the staredown in a pouting game.

"Fine." My friend sighed in defeat, "Let's move."

We turned right, away from the main doors of the theater and into a small alleyway that was the back of the building. The alley was damp and dark but was the safest way inside. We went deeper into the dark place, and the sounds of the busy streets faded away as we did so. Anthony stopped once he had spotted a door before pulling us behind a garbage bin. The doors were guarded by two buff dudes who looked like club bouncers, one was bald and the other one had thick hair, more like a mullet.

"Okay..." I spoke up, "-how can we get past those dorks?"

"We could just blast them with my laser beams." Charlie said.

"What? No!" Anthony said, narrowing his eyes as if focusing on the two dudes like a pair of binoculars. He then turned to Billy, "I hate to say this again, Billy, but-"

"You want me to charge at them and chop them to pieces with my lightsaber?" The boy replied, detracting his purple blade and his eyes suddenly turned dark which terrified us.

 _That escalated quickly._

"What the-?" Our jaws dropped.

"What?" Billy shrugged, "Too much?"

The three of us stood there, still with our mouths hanging open and staring at him in shock.

"Just kidding, you guys!" The boy burst into laughter, "Yeah, yeah, you want me to go over there and lead them away from the door."

"Better." Anthony and I sighed in relief. "Take Charlie with you and use his laser eyes only if you're in big trouble."

"I'm on it, boss!" He saluted, "Let's go and get distractin', Charlie." He cheered, taking out a blonde wig from under his hat and putting it on his head. Then he took off his Indy leather jacket and fixed the t-shirt underneath into a fake bra. Afterwards, he pulled out a makeup kit from his hat and used it to look fabulous as fuck.

"Why the hell do you carry a makeup kit with you?" I scrunched my eyebrows.

"Who doesn't wanna try putting on makeup from time to time?" Billy smirked, putting bright orange lipstick while looking into a small mirror he had packed as well.

"True." I shrugged, "It makes me feel more confident and feminine."

"That's one of the reasons why people often mistake you as the gay one." Anthony shook his head, "But I have to agree, it did make me feel good when I tried it on once."

Sidney laughed and agreed in our every claim, "You guys are seriously weird."

"Normal is boring, I should tell you that." I winked.

"How do I look?" Billy asked as he faced us. He looked a lot like Bella from our Twilight parodies, but only in messy clothes.

"Holy shit. Billy, is that you?" Charlie blurted out.

"That feeling when Billy makes a prettier girl than me." Sidney snorted, controlling her laughter.

"Who says you're not pretty?" Anthony and I said in unison and we both looked at each other in surprise.

"Aw, stop it, you dorks." She blushed, making the cutest giggle she had.

"Okay, here I go." Billy walked towards the two men in style, alternately crossing his legs as he walked, pretty much like a model.

We watched the boy stand in front of the two guards, both of them were awestruck by his feminine looks. Come to think of it, he looked like me when I would wear girly clothes.

"Hey boys." Billy said in his trying-hard girly voice, approaching one of them who had the thick hair. The guards looked at him as if they had seen an angel.

I shook my head, "The creepy and weird shit the author writes."

"You can't blame him, he's just trying to advance the plot of this story." Anthony shrugged.

"I just hope he won't go _Deus Ex Machina_ on us." I said.

We turned back to Billy who has been staring at the non-bald guard from head to toe. Suddenly, the boy reached for the man's hair and tore it from his head, revealing it to be a wig after all.

"GOT YOUR TOUPEE! MWAHAHAHA!" Billy then ran away like hell, waving the wig over his head with the two guards chasing him leaving their post.

"That's out queue, let's go." I said, going out of our hiding place and making the first step to the back doors with Sidney and Anthony following suit.

I pushed open the doors and stuck my head inside, checking if the coast was clear. I looked to the left then to the right but spotted no one inside. It was just an empty hallway that had multiple doors painted brown to stand out of the white walls and grey carpets. It was most likely lounges for the actors. I went inside and motioned for the other two to follow before closing the door behind us.

"All we need is to find the stairs." Sidney said, "Where do we go now?"

"I have no idea." I said.

Sidney made a bold move and turned right, "Let's go. We've gotta start somewhere."

"Dude." Anthony tapped my shoulder, "We need to tell her the truth, like right now. It's better to tell her than let her find out for herself."

"I know." I agreed, keeping a distance from Sidney while following her, "But it could break her heart and she'll never speak to us again."

"I don't care, as long as we come clean with her." He replied, "I dunno about this, dude, but I think I love her. I've never felt so alive the time I met her, and you know how I had been behaving since my ex and I broke up."

"I know, dude. The way you look at her is like you've seen an angel or something." I laughed.

"How can you tell?" Anthony blushed slightly, smiling.

"Well duh, idiot. We've been best friends since sixth grade, we've lived under one roof for five years, we know each other's weaknesses, secrets and interests, we've been partners for ten years, and we've also mistakenly seen each other's penises. What else did you think?"

Anthony laughed, "But wait, you're not jealous?"

"I'm kinda, but... Well... Y-y'know, I've been seeing Pamela for quite a while now, heh." I stuttered, "And I can't bear to watch you moping around like a fricking loser. Go for it and tell her, you butt-nosed dork!"

"Aww, thanks, man." My friend pulled me into a bro hug. "And for your information, the butt-nose was long gone."

"Too gay, Padildo. Too gay." I laughed before pulling away, "Best to tell her now."

"You're right. Hey Sidney! Wait up!" Anthony called out.

Sidney stopped and looked back at us, her red hair flowing freely. "Yes?"

"There's something I need to tell you." We both said upon catching up to her.

"What is it?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Well," I began, "-we've been thinking-"

"HEY YOU! YOU THREE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Someone bellowed from behind us making us turn around. At the end of the long corridor were five men who were wearing the same black shirt and pants the guards Billy had distracted earlier. They might've been alerted of our presence.

"Shit, RUN!" Sidney pulled on our wrists and led us along the way as the guards gave chase.

"B-b-but Sidney." Anthony stuttered while we ran, taking countless turns inside the place to evade the pursuing party.

"It can wait, Anthony. Right now, we need to find the stairs that will lead us up." She said, still having a firm grip on our wrists. We ran along the dimly-lit hallway where there was a grey door made of metal at the end with a neon sign on the wall hanging above it saying:

NO ENTRY

"Through here!" Sidney let go of us and pushed open the door. The place was dark but there was a smell of freshly-laundered carpet that came to my nose the second I stepped inside the place. "Keep moving," She said right after we had closed the door, "Fire Exits don't have doors."

I detracted my lightsaber and Anthony detracted his, illuminating the room we had just entered in a blue and green hue. The place was gigantic, the floor was covered in red velvet carpet, there were numerous rows of seats made of soft cushions, with each row being higher than the previous ones, all of them were facing a huge screen that was to our left and behind us.

"Ian, let's go!" Anthony whispered. We hurriedly went up the stairs of the center aisle that divided the rows of seats into two columns.

I quickly turned off my sword when I heard the fire exit open followed by the beams of flashlights shining in the dark. I dove behind some seats and crawled along them, feeling the soft carpeted floor brush against my belly, keeping my head down as the men conducted their search.

The darkness of the theater hid us, but it then that I realized I was separated from Anthony and Sidney, they were nowhere in sight since they had gone farther than I did before the men got into the room.

The men at the lower part of the theater were conversing, they were searching for us, moving their torches up and about. I continued moving behind the seats, inching away from the center aisle and going towards the left side.

Suddenly, the lights flickered on, fully lighting the entire place and thus making it impossible to hide now. I covered my mouth to muffle my noisy breaths as light footsteps walked up the stairs.

I reached the end of the row and stuck my head out, looking to my right and seeing the lower half of the stairs that lead back to the fire exit then glancing to my left where there was a door at the top. Keeping my body as close as possible to the ground and almost looking like a slithering snake, I silently made my way up the stairs but kept a close eye on the patrolling guards.

It was a long way up there and a tiring one, it was like maintaining a half pushup. _Huh, maybe I'd get ripped triceps after this._ When I was able to reach the topmost row of seats, I went back to crouching position then rubbed my aching arms. And there it was, a few feet from me, the main double doors that audiences would usually take.

I peeked above the seat I was hiding and saw the guards were searching far away from where I was. Seizing the opportunity, I crawled to the door, pulled it open and crawled outside before shutting it behind me. I hastily stood to my feet, glad that I was out of there and brushed off the dust that got onto my costume.

"That was close." I sighed.

 **Anthony Padilla**

Sidney and I were able to get through the theater without being spotted, making it out just before they had gone inside. However, Ian was left inside, I saw him ducking behind the seats.

"What about Ian?" Sidney asked.

"Ian can take care of himself, I know he always does. We need to go up." I replied, subconsciously taking her hand which was warm and soft. Upon realizing this, we looked down at our linked hands then back at each other, Sidney had a shade of red forming on her cheeks. "I-I-uh, let's go?" I stuttered.

"Lead the way." She giggled, never letting go of my hands. We climbed a long, winding set of stairs which almost seemed endless since every landing we reached had a the same grey door like the previous floors, apart from the label indicating which floor we were currently passing.

It was the last flight, we were both drenched with sweat and catching our breaths, exhausted after running past five floors. I felt like everything will collapse on me, like the world will end or some shit.

I weakly pushed open the door and we saw the beautiful orange sun sinking behind the buildings. It was a beautiful sight but we have to hurry, because once the sun disappears, finding the puzzle pieces will be like a needle in a haystack since the sun gives us the direction in finding the pieces... And we still have one more location to go to.

"I see it." Sidney cheered, pointing to the pagoda-style roof that was the front side of the theater, it was resting on one of the edges of the steep roof made of clay, shining bright like a diamond.

"Let's go there, shall we?" I removed the gummy snake whip from my belt and swirled it over my head before whipping it to the glass shard. The snake's sticky head stuck itself on the surface of the roof right next to the piece.

I stepped backwards, stretching the length of the whip and creating a sorta slingshot-type mechanism that should launch me to the top of the steep roof. I looped the end of the tail around my wrists and walked even further until the whip can no longer stretch, I felt my feet slide on the floor as the whip was about to revert back to its original form and catapult me into the air.

"Here I go." I flashed a smile at Sidney before letting the whip take my full weight and launch me to the spot. There was a sudden gust of wind that blew against my face the moment I was off the ground

"WOOOOOHOOOOO!" I yelled. I was like Superman soaring high into the sky.

Until I crashed into the clay roof.

"OOOHH..." She cringed, "-are you alright?"

I dizzyingly lifted my head that was buried in the shattered clay, "D-didn't think that one through." I weakly laughed, feeling my face, chest and balls burning with pain.

"You're almost there!" She exclaimed and I looked up, the piece was indeed within my reach. I pushed myself out of the Anthony-shaped hole on the roof and snatched the blue glass from its resting place before sliding back down to Sidney.

I clumsily stood up, still dazed by the hilarious accident, "Three down, one to go."

She jumped in excitement and pulled me into a hug, causing more pain to the possibly broken ribs and bruised chest.

"Let's go find Ian." I said.

The roof access door suddenly blew open, and speak of the devil, it was Ian.

"What did I miss?" Ian smirked, fixing his fedora on his head and walking toward us like a cowboy.

"One last location to go." I replied, handing the other pieces to Sidney. She then laid the other pieces on the ground, all of them were just as big as a small card, but irregularly shaped. Ian and I helped in putting the parts together and we ended up forming a shape of a flamingo's body, it was missing the slim neck that must be at the final location: _the Getty Center._

"Beautiful." Sidney sniffed, "I can't believe that after all these years we would be able to recover one of Hollywood's best kept secret. Thanks to you guys, I couldn't have wished for a better people to work with, and one hella good explorers too."

My breath hitched, "Uh, heh, funny thing you should mention that. We-"

The door opened again. Billy found us, but he quickly shut the door behind him and bolted the door shut from the outside by using the tip of his lightsaber to melt the gaps in between while in his other hand was holding a wine glass with Charlie in it.

"Billy!" We greeted.

The boy jumped and faced us, raising his hands up in the process, "I SURRENDER! I DIDN'T MEAN TO CROSS-DRESS!" The boy's makeup had faded away, his lipstick was smudged to his cheeks and his eyeshadow was almost washed away, dripping down his cheeks. He looked like the Joker.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ian shook his head.

"Crazy shit." Charlie burped, "Sweet delicious booze." He licked his lips as the remaining amounts of wine dripped down his furry cheeks.

"Open up! We know you're in there!" The voices of the men came from behind the door.

"What happened?" I asked, approaching Billy who was looking pale.

"I'll explain later." Billy shook his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "I'm never getting that image out of my brain."

"Neither could I." Charlie shuddered, "It's like two giant prunes!"

"Guys, over here!" Ian called, who was standing at the side of the pagoda roof, looking downwards where we saw a bunch of awnings conveniently hanging on the wall.

"Awnings." I said, "You think it'll hold us? I mean, it could rip apart once we land on them."

BANG! The behind us door collapsed.

"Let's give it a try, shall we?" Ian blurted out before taking Sidney's wrist and mine, "JUMP!"

"Wait, SHIIIIIII!" All four of us leapt off the edge, screaming our lungs out as we took the leap of faith, praying the awnings will catch our fall or at least slow it down.

We bounced on the first but it soon ripped, dropping us onto another underneath it. Then that collapsed as well, but at least we were slowing down. We then dropped on the third, but that one caught us and broke the fall.

All of us ended piled on top of each other, trying to stand up on the cloth roof we were in. It felt like were were in a huge hammock.

Ian quickly rolled to the edge and dropped on the ground that was at least seven foot high. I heard his thud and groan, and it sounded painful.

"Sidney!" I grabbed her hand and rolled out, taking her with me but using my body as a cushion for her.

My back hit the carpeted floor first, hitting the still-healing burn wound and shocking my body with excruciating pain. Sidney fell on top of me taking less of the impact. She had her hands covering her eyes, trembling.

"Hey." I said and she removed her hands from her face, "I got ya."

She opened her eyes and it twinkled, she smiled and rolled off of me stumbling to her feet.

"You alright?" I asked.

"I-I'm fine." She said, reaching out a hand and helping me stand up. Billy then fell but landed on his feet, to our surprise. He was able to land safely unlike us who felt like ragdolls when we rolled off the final awning.

"That was cool!" The boy jumped, his propeller hat spun, "Can we do it again?"

"Not now, Billy. We have to get to Getty Center." Ian stood up, dusting off his clothes.

"Yeah, we should, before-"

"IAN! ANTHONY!" There was a squeal of teenage girls coming from behind us. We turned around on our spot and froze upon seeing a group of fangirls running to us with posters of the _Smosh Movie_.

 _Busted._

The girls crowded us like a swarm of agitated bees. They had their pens and markers out and forcing us to take it by shoving it near our faces. Their squeals were deafening, like a high-pitched whistle.

"A-Anthony?" Out of all the noise, I heard Sidney, "Wh-what's going on?" She had her mouth hanging open looking at the dozens of movie posters in front of us.

I gently pushed the fans away to get closer to her, "Sid, I-I'm sorry." My voice cracked, "W-we're not r-really archaeologists." The words piled on top of one another, "We- Ian and I are actors."

"Wh-what?" She stuttered as beads of tears form in the corner of her eyes, "Y-you l-lied to m-me?"

"W-we wanted to tell you." I scratched the back of my head, never breaking eye contact with her.

Tears streamed from her eyes, her mouth opened but not a single word came out. Instead, she swung her open palm at me, hitting my cheek. I took it, I deserved it. It was painful but I deserved it.

"You lied to me! You both lied to me!" She yelled, fighting back sobs and furiously at Ian and I. The cheers of the fangirls stopped once they hears Sidney yell, they all gasped. "You two are pathetic!"

She turned her back at us and walked away, taking Billy with her.

My heart sank and sadness clouded in my head. I followed her and grabbed her arm, "Sidney, please let me explain-"

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" She forcibly yanked her arm out of my grip, "You've been lying to me ever since?"

I froze, unable to reply.

"Come on, Billy." She adjusted her bag and turned away from me.

"SIDNEY, PLEASE!" I still ran after her but she didn't look back. She hailed a taxi and hurriedly got in with the boy. "SIDNEY!" I was overflowing with guilt and sadness, I started crying.

I got a glimpse of her with her face buried in her hands before the cab sped off, leaving me and Ian behind.


	12. Chapter Eleven - Getty into Trouble

**Billy Hamburger**

The cab drove us away fast, away from the theater, ignoring Anthony who was running after us. I looked back at him and saw his eyes filled with sadness and despair as he slowed down his pace unable to keep up.

"SIDNEY!" Anthony screamed, his tone cracking because of the controlled sobs. Sidney was sitting beside me inside the cab, face buried in her hands, sniffing. Her hair was messy and her shirt was stained with tears.

"Sidney?" I murmured, reaching out a hand to pat her back, "It's okay."

She lifted her head and looked at me, eyes bloodshot, nose redder than a tomato and mascara washed away by her tears.

"It's okay." I half-smiled, trying to cheer her up.

"I trusted them, and they lied to me." She sobbed.

"Hey." I rubbed her back, "It's alright."

"We'll finish this search with or without them." She said firmly, wiping the tears from her cheeks and taking out her book.

"So... where to, mam?" The driver of the taxi spoke up, calling both of our attention. He looked at us through his rear view mirror.

"To the Getty Center, please. And step on it." Sidney replied, shuffling through the pages of the book to find the assembled puzzle pieces of the glass flamingo key sandwiched between them.

"You got it." He nodded his head and the car went a little faster.

"One more to go, Billy." She forced a smile through her frowning lips, "We can do this." She took the three pieces from the book then put them in her shirt pocket.

"What about Ian and Anthony?" I asked, wiping away the makeup I had earlier but also trying not to wake Charlie who was sleeping on my lap, drunk by the booze he had earlier.

She twitched upon hearing their names, "I don't wanna talk about it. Right now, we have larger matters at hand." She furrowed her eyebrows, looking at her phone about an article on The Getty Center, studying where the piece might be located.

"Ms. Ackerman, don't let this pass," I said, "They only did that so you won't get hurt."

"Oh really? Didn't they think that it would hurt me more if I was the one who found out?" She replied, not even looking at me keeping her eyes glued to her book.

I nodded my head, "Listen, I know you're hurt, but Ian and Anthony like you. Especially Anthony."

She glanced at me, "Anthony?"

"I know Anthony, and once you're friends with him he swears that he will do whatever it takes you to be happy... And come to think of it, I think he likes you more than just a friend." I shrugged, "They kept the secret hidden from you because they want you to like them for what they really are and not because of their fame." I paused, "And also because you're insanely attractive as they've said." I injected some humor in my over-dramatic claim. She put down her book and shifted all her attention to me, intrigued by my statement.

"I overheard you and Anthony talking, he is a man of his word. He will protect you no matter what's the cost. That one thing he did, when he threw himself to shield us? That was one of the bravest things a man could do for someone."

She broke down again, "I'm sorry, Billy. It's just that... I've been always lied to by other people I've worked with. Then I found you guys who managed to earn my trust, I just lashed out because of those horrible events that happened before."

"So, you're not mad anymore?" I asked.

"I don't know, it's too early to tell. Right now, we should find the last puzzle piece."

"Okay." I bowed my head and petted the sleeping guinea pig on my lap.

"Oh, by the way," Sidney mumbled, "-what happened back there? When Charlie said something about prunes?"

I shuddered, recalling those events that happened to Charlie and I, "Well, we were chased by the guards, right? Well-um-we ran through thick crowds and ended up in a party where the people there were classy as heck.

We decided to lose them by getting into the girls' bathroom, only to come face to face with an old woman who was struggling to put on her bra."

"Oookay." Sidney shook her head.

"They looked like shriveled-up prunes!" I shivered, "I'm never getting that picture out of my head."

* * *

It was a short drive to the center, taking at least twenty minutes to get there. It was almost six in the evening, but we still got sun left to point out where the last puzzle was.

Getty Center was huge, it had called collectively as a center but it was divided into more than two structures, designed to look like a building from the future deviating from the conventional building design. Almost everything at the place was painted white, beautiful and very eco-friendly as its structure has been associated with nature since it was built on a hillside.

The taxi drove onto the parking lot where only a few cars were there, parked only for rich guests and tourists who can afford the long trip to the place. We stepped out of the cab and we were facing a long and wide walkway that splits into three: the right leads to the main center where art exhibits are held, the center leads to the eco garden and while the left goes to their main offices.

Sidney dug inside her shirt pocket and took out one piece of the glass and raised it up high, trying to catch beams of the sun. It was not that easy, as the skyline had turned orange and there was only less than an eighth of the sun showing, the moon slowly rising up taking its place.

Then there was a shimmer in the Central Garden.

"Let's go." Sidney tugged my elbow and we ran on the long and wide tiled place, dashing as fast as we could dodging past tourists who jumped when we accidentally bumps shoulders with them.

"It's there." I pointed to the round small hedge maze in the pond of the garden where there I saw a glint, "I'll get it." I said, handing the guinea pig to Sidney before approaching the railing. There was at least a three feet long grass that surrounded the mini lake itself, and one side had a small man-made waterfall that gushed from the city's natural resources.

The water was not deep, all I needed to do was to go in without being detected. I cautiously looked around, checking if there were guards roaming about. There were three of them, one on top of the elevated platform that overlooks the hedge maze, one walking alongside the pond, and one walking up and about checking the night lights of the entire place.

"Screw it." I brushed it off and let my ' _special problems_ ' do its thing. Pretending to be a retarded child like I sorta am, I removed my hat and shirt, took a deep breath and leapt into the water, sinking under the knee-deep water level which was was cold and partially dark.

On the surface, I heard muffled yells of the guards that had gotten in seeing two pairs of legs treading the chilly waters. I kept low as I could, avoiding on swimming next to a guard's legs.

The hedge maze was just on the surface of the water, it was tethered to the bottom by chains which made it slightly easier to make my way to the very middle. I went back up to the surface to take a gasp of air and went in again. Water filled my eyes once more, the images of the chains and the bottom of the pond were blurry, also making it hard for me to find it was because of the darkness that had taken over as the sun was no more.

My hands treaded the bottom, using them to feel for the last puzzle piece, using my nails to part mosses that had formed. It was then that I felt a small, card-sized piece that was slender... Shaped like an 'S' along with a pointed end.

It was the head of the key. The last piece.

I seized it in my hands and put it in my pocket before standing up and out of the water, taking a gasp of air as if I was just taken out of my mother's vajayjay.

The men grabbed both my arms and dragged me out of the pond, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" One man asked, his voice cold and angry. The men laid my back on one of the walls and made me sit on the ground, "Well?"

"I-I, Um..." I stuttered, still had my damp hair covering my eyes and water dripping into my opened mouth. The water tasted awful.

"He thought dropped his phone in there." A raspy British voice spoke up and I immediately knew it was Charlie, "Poor bloke thought his phone was there so he swam after it."

I parted my wet bangs to see Charlie who was on Sidney's arms standing behind the guards who were crouched down in front of me.

"What?" Asked one of the guards who glared at the two.

"I pranked him into thinking I threw his phone in there and he fell for it." The guinea pig explained.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Guard, sir." I stumbled to my feet, shoes and pants drenched with water and making a squeak, "I have 'special problems'." _It's true_.

"The men turned to Charlie and put their hands on their waists, "So you decided to pull a prank on him? On a mentally challenged man-child?" He scolded.

"He may be a mentally challenged man-child, but he's _MY_ mentally challenged man-child." Charlie defended, "He's my best pal."

The men were stumped, "Okay, boy, we'll let this pass this time, " they turned to me again, "-and next time, please don't be too gullible."

"Thanks, sir!" I smiled and they left the three of us, shaking their heads in disbelief.

"Bloody wankers." Charlie mumbled.

"So you got the piece?" Sidney asked, eagerly running her fingers through the guinea pig's back. I fished the head of the flamingo head inside my pocket and handed it to her. Sidney's eyes widened, a smile has formed on her face. And before I knew it, she threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly, "Thank you, Billy! We're almost there!"

"That's what she said." Charlie blurted out.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow, clearly not yet 'infected' by the sex jokes most of the society is now. She brushed it off, "We should go back to Ian and Anthony."

"Let's." I wiggled my body like a dog and put on my propeller hat.

We rushed back up the elevated platform and faced up north seeing the very far main entrance where we came from earlier. We ran back where we came from but stopped halfway, Sidney had stopped in her tracks and held me back.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"They found us." She was looking in the distance, eyes wide and mouth hanging open in shock. I turned my head to where she was looking at and saw at least a dozen familiar men in black suits being led by a man wearing turquoise jacket, orange shorts and blue shades.

 _It's them. They found us._

"Hide!" I took Sidney's arm and ran away from the pursuing men, taking a left instead of going back to the garden.

Countless footsteps followed us along with a man's yell, "SPLIT UP!"

My heart raced faster as we sprinted away, hearing the men's running footsteps disperse behind us. My clothes were both drenched with sweat and water, making it heavier than it used to be and noisier when I ran, creating a squeak every step I made.

We reached the side of the museum and I pulled Sidney into a different corner just in time when the men appeared from the other side. We laid our backs against the wall catching out breaths, fear rising to our throats and feeling helpless.

"What are we gonna do, Billy?" Sidney asked, clutching her satchel tightly in her arms. We listened very carefully for the goons that continuously ran about, still trying to search for us.

"Let's move, they'll find us if we don't." I said, slowly moving but keeping my back as close to the wall to check the other side. I stuck my head out slightly to look over and saw no one to my relief, I searched for a new hiding place to go to and spotted a pillar not very far but wide enough to hide both of us. Then I suddenly remembered, "Wait, I have my propeller hat."

I pressed the button but the hat never even budged, creating faint whirring of a short circuit, "What the hell?" I took off my hat and examined it, seeing that the main board has been damaged by the cinnamon blast it took back at the Library.

"Crap." I detracted my purple lightsaber, creating a soft hum sound when the glowing blade erupted from the hilt. "Follow me." I stepped out of hiding and slowly treaded towards the concrete pillar with my lightsaber brought up and prepared to strike. "Stick close to me."

I looked back to see Sidney following my every move, even doing the mid-squat crab walk I was doing. I looked at her with my eyebrows raised, "What? You told me to follow you, so I'm doing it." She also copied my footwork, doing crisscrosses.

"Yeah." I extended out an arm and pushed her behind the new hiding place as I saw two shadows of the henchmen appear from our previous spot.

Then she tapped my shoulder, "Move back, Sidney." I reached out for her and felt her arm, pushing her back and away from the corner. She tapped again, this time a with little more force. I turned around, "I told you to-" I was stupefied.

Behind Sidney was a one of the neighbor's men who was covering her mouth, stifling her screams for help, she was actually clawing for me but only managed to hit me with her finger.

"NO, LET HER GO!" I brought up my weapon, prepared to strike only for it to be swatted away by another lightsaber, sending it flying away from me. I turned around and saw the Neighbor holding his own rock candy weapon: a crudely-made hilt with two more openings where two shorter red blades extended out, forming a crossguard.

Suddenly, Charlie leapt out from my pocket and onto my shoulder, "TASTE MY LASER EYES, MOTHERFUCKER!" The guinea pig grunted, but no beam came from him, only a small flash of red in his eyes. "Shit. I forgot, I drank some booze."

The Neighbor pointed the tip of his lightsaber to my neck and I saw myself reflected in his blue shades as he smiled evilly.


	13. Chapter Twelve - Hollywood

**Ian Hecox**

 _The truth is out, Sidney left us_. We had no idea we would get this far in our search for the treasure. Courtney was right, women always find out the truth. I watched Anthony run after the fleeing taxi, desperately calling out Sidney's name. He then stopped, catching his breath after chasing it for at least two blocks. He slumped down near a garbage bin, head covered by his tipped hat.

I ran after him, dodging the fans' grasps and politely excusing myself from them. "Excuse me, guys, but I need to go." I said. The fans let out a groan of frustration but, being the supportive fans they were, they let me through. "Anthony?" I put my hand on his shoulder, feeling his body jolt from all the sobbing.

Anthony sniffed, not even bothering to look up at me.

"Hey, it's gonna be alright." I said.

"Alright? ALRIGHT?!" He raised his voice, "We lied to her, Ian. She trusted us and we crossed her."

"Let's go to her then." I said.

"Okay, then when we get there we'll say, 'please forgive us'." He whined, "I doubt she'll ever forgive us that easily."

I rolled my eyes, "You've dated lots of girls for you not to understand them, they're always like that, lashing out and not letting us guys explain first. And I'm not gonna sit here and watch you get all weepy complaining that you can't get a girlfriend... Because that's _my_ thing."

He snickered softly, "You got me there good, bro."

"I'm the ' _Bowl-haired reject',_ remember?" I pointed to myself, wholeheartedly accepting my usual predicament. "So get off your ass and let's go."

"Wait," He stood up, hinting little excitement before frowning, "We don't know where she went next."

"Don't worry, I got the locations of the map right here." I pointed to my head, smiling, "-and because she kept repeating the locations countless times."

"How come I didn't know that?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Probably because you're so distracted by her looks that you didn't listen to everything she said." I laughed. "You look like a caveman wanting bam bam when you look at her."

"I do not!" He scoffed.

"Dude, we've known each other for more than ten years, you think I don't know you enough?" I shook my head, "We've even seen each other's willies."

Anthony laughed, "Alright, man. Let's go."

"We need to get to the Getty Center before the sun sets." I said.

"What if we go a step further?" He said, "I mean, head on over to the last location and wait for them there?"

"Sounds like a plan. We head to the _Hollywood Sign_." I said as we walked along the black tiles of the walk of fame.

Then we bumped into someone. "D'oh! Watch where you're going!" The man said in a southern, hillbilly accent that sounded familiar. The man was wearing a trench coat and had a distinct beaten-up cap, he was gnawing on a straw when he bumped into us. He was easily knocked off balance, falling to the ground with a thud.

"Cletus?" I asked. The man looked up at us and I couldn't be any more correct, it was him. "What are you doing here? I thought you were back at the park?" I reached out a hand to help him stand up.

"I-uh," he stuttered, "-I was just collecting some souvenirs the people throw a way in the trash, check this here coat." He opened his coat and a foul smell crawled up our noses. It was definitely gotten from the trash. "And check out this sweet comb!" He dug in his pocket and took out a dried fish skeleton and used it as a comb.

"Dumpster Diving?" Anthony cut in.

"Exactly!" Cletus jumped, "Oh well, I better get going back to my thing." He turned around and started walking away from us.

"Where's Benny Jean?" I asked.

"He's still back at the park." He replied, not looking back at us. He went around a corner and disappeared from out sights.

Anthony and I looked in confusion, "Okay... What was that?" He said.

"I'm just as confused as you are, man." I tilted my head lazily, also dumbfounded, "How about we get going?"

We hailed a cab and sat in the backseat in silence, looking out the windows contemplating about the things that happened, thinking if Sidney would still be able to forgive us for deceiving her in the first place, wondering if we'll be able to see her again, and if we'll ever find the Golden Flamingo.

"Do you think we'll find her there?" Anthony spoke up, breaking the silence inside the taxi.

"Duh... Where else would she go? And besides, you're only saying that to sound overdramatic and earn the sympathy of the readers."

"Maybe, but I dunno, I have a strange feeling that she's in trouble."

"So now you have 'psychic powers'? Who are you, Obi-Wan Kenobi?" I scoffed, "She'll be fine. Stop going all cliché with all the _'I have a bad feeling about this_ ' crap."

Soon after, the sloped roads along the Hollywood Boulevard turned into mountainous terrain and the houses became less frequent. The taxi slowed down as we climbed the steeper slopes that leads to the Hollywood Hills.

There it was, sitting on the side of the hillside, the dazzling rays of the sun shining behind creating a magnificent view of it. The lights on the ground flickered on as the day turned into the night, illuminating the gigantic letters as big as a three-story building or even taller, forming a word that everyone in the world knows:

HOLLYWOOD

 _The Hollywood Sign._ The place where the x marks the spot, where the golden flamingo is said to be hidden. One of Hollywood's Treasures that has yet to be discovered.

The cab finally dropped us off a few feet above from the base of the colossal letters, atop the hill where there was a tall red and blue antenna tower, where there were other parked tour buses. There was only a little sun left, the sky was turning blue and city lights down below began to flicker on building by building, street by street.

Anthony and I hurriedly rushed to the spot where the tourists were, "Now, we find that entrance of the Flamingo's cave." I said.

"How? We don't know where it is." Anthony replied, panicking.

"We have to start somewhere, we're not just gonna stay here like sitting ducks."

"Make that sitting _Flamingoes._ Am I right? Eh? Eh? _"_ My friend wiggled his eyebrows, nudging my belly with his elbow, waiting for me to laugh at his corny pun.

I stayed poker face then slapped him in the face, making it loud and painful. Anthony shrieked and clutched his sore face, whimpering.

"Dude, no. Just... no." I shook my head, sighing in annoyance.

"Sorry, I had to do it." He said.

"Split up. We need to find the entrance before they do. You check the lower ground and I'll check here." I instructed, motioning him to take a path that leads down the Hollywood Hill to the metal base of the sign.

Anthony nodded and immediately went to that path, going through the thick crowd of tourists that had just gotten from the place. Meanwhile, I pushed forward.

I began searching, looking around the place that was quickly turning dark. It felt like going to battle without any ammo: Not knowing where and how to start, but we had to start somewhere. I looked through the people who were minding their own business, gazing at the distance.

What caught my attention was two similar looking vans parking at the other end of the place. _It must be The Neighbor._ I thought to myself, noticing the damages on the bodies of the vans.

 _I gotta call Anthony._

My phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket, making me jump. I clumsily but quickly took it out and upon seeing the contact name, it felt like my blood had been drained entirely from my body. It wasn't who I expected it to be, it was Ryan Todd.

 _We're in really deep shit._

I nervously said, "H-hello Ry?"

 _"IAN! WHAT THE HELL'S TAKING YOU TWO SO LONG?!"_ He practically screamed through the phone. " _THE PARTY'S IN TWO HOURS! I can't have the celebrants not be in their celebration!"_

"I'm really sorry, man. I-" I paused, thinking of an excuse, "I-"

 _"You what?_ "

"I'm really sorry, Anthony and I are sorta facing a crisis right now." I said, subtly hinting our actual situation.

" _Identity Crisis_?" He asked, snickering.

"What the fuck, dude?!" I laughed, "You may put it that way, but not the way you think." I half agreed, since we sorta 'faked' our identities.

" _Just-"_ Ryan sighed, and I sensed his frustration, "- _Hurry up, the party starts at eight!"_

I glanced at my watch, it was ten minutes past six. _Less than two hours left._

"Don't worry, we'll make it in time." The words simply slipped out of my mouth.

 _"You better, or they'll be furious."_ Ryan said before hanging up.

I shakily navigated through my phone, fumbling through my contacts to find Anthony's name when suddenly there was another incoming call. _Speak - Er - Think of the Devil,_ it was Anthony.

" _Ian!"_ Anthonyfirst spoke up the second I answered it, " _I found it!"_ He cheered, " _It's halfway down the sign just behind 'WOOD'."_

"Brilliant, but I think we're in a tight schedule. The party's about to start." I said, focusing my eyes back to the suspicious van that parked among the other vehicles.

" _We better find Sidney fast_."

Then the doors opened and the first thing I spotted was a man wearing turquoise jacket and orange shorts. Completing his look were his large blue sunglasses, "However, I think time is on our side, the neighbor has just arrived."

The neighbor walked to the back door of the vans and yanked it open, his men jumped out. But what stood out is that one of them was holding a very old book that was familiar, I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then another goon stepped out, he was holding a scroll, I still couldn't recall.

It was then that the unconscious body of a man-child wearing a beanie propeller hat fell out and landed onto the road below.

"Anthony, they have Billy and Sidney." I trembled, "they got them."

"How can you be so sure?" Anthony's voice came from behind me, making me jump and shriek.

"H-h-how the hell did you go up so fast?" I stuttered, shocked by his sudden appearance.

"I dunno." He shrugged.

"C'mon, let's get in closer." I walked towards the van and hid beside a car that was parked a few feet away from them. Anthony followed suit, hiding behind me. We stuck our heads out to watch them and saw the men pushing back Billy inside. They shut the door and face their boss who were giving instructions that were to soft for us to hear clearly, all we ever heard was that some must stay to watch over the hostages.

They left the scene with The Neighbor taking the lead, in his hands were the book and the scroll. Four of them were left in charge of guarding the van. We went around the car to avoid being spotted by them as they walked past us, watching them walk down a small path that led down the Hollywood sign.

"We have to save Sidney and Billy." Anthony whispered. "I don't care about the treasure anymore."

"I know you're trying to act like the ' _I don't care about the treasure anymore_ ' type of guy bullshit, but allowing the neighbor get his hands on the flamingo will be our doom."

"Oh." My friend said flatly, realizing the dangers of letting him get it, "Change of plan, how about we get Sidney and Billy _then_ go after the treasure?"

"Good enough for me."

"Let's go." Anthony said, moving past cars while crouched down, looking around the corners checking if the coast was clear. We stopped when we reached a car that was beside the said vehicles.

"So here's how we do it," I said, looking at the four guards: two were guarding the door, one was in the driver's seat and one was talking with him who was leaning on the driver's side door. "-You take out the two people near the back door with your whip. If it works, the man beside the driver will get distracted and go over there, and once that happens, I'll take out the man behind the wheel and take the distracted one by surprise."

"Okay." My friend replied, preparing his gummy whip, "Is it foul play if I whip them down there?"

"Not really in our condition, since they have hostages." I replied, taking out the wooden hilt of my rock candy lightsaber from my belt then stuffing it inside my sock for emergency purposes. Anthony just copied me, he also hid is hilt in his sock.

"One hit there will definitely knock them out." He smiled evilly, "Be sure to cover your ears in case they scream that word you must not hear."

"What word?" I raised my eyebrow.

"You know, the B-A-L-L-S?"

" _Balls_?" I gasped and it felt like I lost control of my arm as it snatched Anthony's whip. But my friend was faster, he grabbed my arm and stopped me from hitting myself. Instead, he slapped me in the face pulling me out from my trance.

"Thanks." I shook my head, slightly disoriented from the slap.

"Don't mention it."

"What's that sound?" A goon suddenly appeared from beside the car we were hiding, finding us hidden there.

The man gasped and aimed his churro blaster at us only to be deflected by Anthony's gummy whip, sending the weapon flying away. Anthony then whipped the gummy snake at the guy's crotch and I saw the thick head of the snake partially bash the guy's dick inwards.

I cringed and held my own manhood as if I felt the pain he had sustained.

The man fell down screaming high enough to crack the windshields of the surrounding cars. The remaining three were startled and came to his aid.

"Abort the plan, just hit them in the crotches." I said, covering my ears and dodging the oncoming punches thrown by the attacking men. As I made it through the two goons and into the space between the parked vans that leads to the back doors, I was able to snatch one of their churro blasters and conceal them behind my back.

Then the third man blocked my way and I jumped, assuming a tackling position. He detracted his lightsaber and twirled it around as it was accompanied by a loud whir, doing some mad skillz with it.

"Let's dance." He challenged, bringing his sword overhead waiting for me to charge.

"Let's not." I quick drew the blaster that was behind my back and shot the man point blank. BANG! He was thrown a few feet by the cinnamon blast before falling the ground unconscious. "I have two left feet."

I turned around a fired at the others who were cornering Anthony. They both were knocked out by a clean shot to their heads.

"Thanks, man." Anthony said, catching his breath and rolling back the whip.

Then we proceeded to the doors where the guards supposedly had Billy and Sidney captive. I pressed my face onto the window to take a closer look inside: I saw two bodies, one female and one male, bound and gagged. Both of them were lying on the floor, squirming to break free from the ropes.

"It's them!" I shrieked, aiming the blaster to the door handles and shooting it. The metal handles flew off and the blast created a gaping hole that burned off the locks.

Anthony hurriedly pried open the doors, "Sidney!" He yelled, and the woman lifted her head up to look at us, her hair was fiery red but messy, her green eyes were all too familiar.

We hopped inside and helped the two sit up then cut off their restraints. Billy was heavily bruised, there were shades of purple on his cheeks and arms, he was half-conscious, his head swirling around, still disoriented.

I pulled down the scarf that was tied around his mouth, "I knew you'd come save us." Billy weakly smiled.

"You came back." Sidney said, her tone felt like she was touched by our efforts to save her.

"I''ll never leave you." Anthony said, looking into her eyes.

"Where's Charlie?" I said, interrupting them in their moment.

"He's there," Billy pointed to a small box that was on the dashboard that had holes drilled on them. "-in that box."

I hopped to the backseat and snatched the box before returning to them. I opened the cover tipped it to the side, and a guinea pig with dark grey hair crawled out, there was a tape on his mouth.

"That box was scary!" Charlie exclaimed right after I removed the tape, "You know how I hate small spaces, they tortured me!"

"Tortured you? Look at me!" Billy said, and he was right, Billy looked the worst among the three captives

"Let's go before the neighbor catches us." Anthony said, pulling Sidney to the door.

But then entrance was blocked. The neighbor has returned with his other henchmen. _It was a trap._

The neighbor was just standing there as his men aimed their weapons at us. We, in turn, dropped our guns fearing that one shot might lead to more than a dozen shots to hit us back. My heart skipped, seeing that there was no chance of escape now unlike the past encounters.

He smiled evilly, playing with the pieces of the key. He opened his mouth to utter,

"Going somewhere?"


	14. Chapter Thirteen - Booby Trapped

**Anthony Padilla**

Their guns aimed at us, we were outnumbered and trapped inside the van. We failed the rescue attempt, it was a trap all along. And this was one of the rarest times we heard the Neighbor talk, and come to think of it, he sounded like _Brian Rasmussen_ , the dude who plays the _Food Battle News Reporter._

The men yanked us out the van and threw us on the ground like ragdolls, laughing upon seeing us hit the ground hard. The others forcibly pulled us to our feet and pressed the barrels of their churro blasters into our backs.

"Hey! That is not the place put your hands on!" Ian yelled, slapping the hands that was on his man boob, "You gay, dude?" He glared at the man who, in turn, wiggled his eyebrows seductively at him. "Shit."

"Search them." The neighbor said. Then the men frisked us, taking away every weapon they could find: Ian's churro blaster, my lightsaber and Billy's, the gummy whip, and the celery knife.

"Get your filthy hands off of me!" Sidney struggled as she was brought outside, slapping the man's arms repeatedly. She yelped when she felt the gun on her back.

"Don't you dare hurt her. I swear to God, I'll kill you." I warned the man then met Sidney's gaze afterwards. She looked fragile and helpless, but the look on her face contradicted that.

"Move." A man said who was the one holding the gun to my back, shoving me forwards. With much hesitation, I began walking, going back up the road that leads to the antenna tower above the Hollywood Sign. And soon after countless footsteps came from behind, everyone was moving as well.

The sun was no longer in sight, it was replaced by the moon and the navy blue sky. We could see the beautiful scenery from where we were standing, the lights from the buildings and houses were now on, illuminating the city and making it a spectacular view.

"Down there." The man grabbed my shoulder and made me turn right to where a path slightly concealed by untrimmed bushes were. I had been there moments before I regrouped with Ian earlier.

"I know where it is, asshole." I sighed, taking the lead down the hill.

We went halfway down and stopped there, right behind the first 'O' of the large Hollywood sign. There it was, hidden behind tall bushes, a small cave big enough for a bear cub to go through, a person would fit inside if they got down on all fours.

The man handed me a flashlight, "You first." before pushing me towards the entrance. I ducked and crawled inside the dark cave, turning on my flashlight to light the way. My hat grazed some of the soil from the sides of the small entrance.

"Hey, Anthony!" Ian's voice came from outside, echoing in the cave.

"What?" I turned my head to the opening and saw him looking at me.

"I thought you said the entrance was behind the word 'WOOD'?" He asked.

"Damn it." I pounded my fist on the ground and looked back into the deep dark place.

Only to come face to face with an intimidated cobra.

I screamed, "WRONG HOLE! WRONG HOLE!" I jolted backwards, almost being bitten by the snake when it struck. I started moving back, and what made it even scarier was that it began chasing me.

"That's what she said!" Then a pair of hands grabbed on my ankle and I fell face first after the hands pulled. Then I was dragged outside, with the rocks grazing my face and ripping through my clothes.

The light got into my eyes. I was back outside.

"You alright?" Ian asked, offering me his hand.

"Kinda." I took his hand and he pulled me up, "You could've at least told me you're gonna pull me out," I took out my phone and looked at my reflection: My face had small cuts and bruises. "Look at my beautiful face."

"At least you're not snake food."

I wrinkled my nose, "That could've been nasty."

I led the others to the right entrance this time. It looked like the first cave, hidden behind thick bushes. I stuck my head inside the opening and shone my flashlight and I saw the narrow passageway at least stretched for a few feet before leading to a cavern. The beam of my torch shone on a surface, it was not made of soil, but instead made of clay bricks.

"GO!" The Neighbor suddenly shouted, threatening me with the tip of his red crossguard lightsaber.

"Whiny-ass prick." I adjusted my fedora hat and went in, feeling rocks press into my palms and knees. The rocks crumbled a bit, creating a little dust smoke because of my movement.

"You're next." I heard one of the men say. Then there were sounds of someone crawling behind me. I looked behind and saw Ian.

"Go on, man. I'm right behind ya." He said, giving me a slap on the butt.

"Hey, no touching the firm glutes." I warned. "You slap it one more time..."

But Ian still slapped it.

"Okay, you asked for it." I smiled evilly then grunted.

FRRRRTOOOOT! The loud fart sprayed Ian in the face. I felt a warm sensation around my butthole, an indication it will definitely be stinky.

Ian screamed, "FUCK!"

"Ha! I ate beans and asparagus." I laughed.

"HOLY SHIT, IT'S SMELLS LIKE DEATH! LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Ian tried retreating but was pushed forwards, ending up with his face being _human centipede-_ ed onto my butt. "MMMPHHH!" He struggled and shoved me to move.

I let out an insulting cackle, "Take it, bitch!" Wiggling my ass feeling his nose pressed in before moving along.

When I reached the end of the narrow opening, I quickly stood up and moved my flashlight around, seeing stalactites growing from the ceiling of the cavern, hearing water drip from them and hitting the damp ground creating an echo. I moved the beam downwards and saw that the floor was also made up of clay bricks. Then up front was the place we've been looking for: the entrance to the Golden Flamingo's lair.

Then there was a burst of orange light behind me. Ian had found an old torch and lit it up using a small matchbox he had been carrying.

"Looks like we're not the only ones who have been in here." He said, pointing to a set of shoe prints on the ground.

"Yeah." I said, following where the prints go with the beam of flashlight and my eyes. Strangely, they stopped near a wall, there were no other marks that showed them where it went.

"Anthony, take a look at this." Ian gasped, who had explored more.

Then my jaw dropped, astonished upon seeing it. The gates were made of two tall slabs of clay that had ancient writings on it, but was mostly made of images depicting the search of mankind for the very treasure the lies behind those doors. At the center was a small but deep carving, placed at the very division of the two doors.

It resembled a flamingo. _The key._

"We're here." Sidney appeared by my side, "I don't believe it."

"Me too." I said, still mesmerized by the gates that was in front.

"Wow." Billy said in amazement, looking at the gate from top to bottom, "It's amazing."

"Do they have some kind of ancient booze in there?" Charlie grunted.

"The key, where is it?" I turned to The Neighbor and his henchmen who had just gotten in. One of them reached inside the pocket on his shirt and took out four pieces of shining blue glass. He stepped forward and handed it to me. "The book, too."

Another goon tossed the book at us and it was caught by Ian.

"Thank you." Ian said before handing the book to Sidney who hurriedly opened it and began reading. I assembled the four pieces on my palm, creating a shape of a small flamingo that very well matched the carved figure on the clay doors.

"Let's get this over with." I walked to the door but was stopped by Sidney.

"Wait!" She exclaimed, "Once we step in there, there's no turning back, we will be facing a series of traps, three of them to be exact. We must carefully follow instructions to get through alive."

"Very well." The Neighbor interrupted, "You five go first." He said, ordering his goons to aim their guns at us.

"You gotta be kidding me." Ian said, not intimidated by their stance. The boss tilted his head and half smiled before grabbing one of the guard's guns and firing it at Ian. He shrieked seeing the blast of cinnamon explode mere inches from his foot, "Alright! Alright! I was just trying to be badass to create tension! I'm sorry." Ian turned back around and faced the doors.

I snickered and shook my head. "Oh well." I exhaled before glancing at Sidney who was staring at me for quite a while. It was a little creepy and cute, "What?" I looked into her green eyes that twinkled.

"You came back for us." She said, her lips slowly curving a smile.

"You know I will," I smirked, subconsciously parting some strands of her hair that was on her face to the side, tucking it behind her ear.

"Uh, guys?" Billy interjected, "Maybe we should keep moving since the Neighbor here has us by the cojones."

I shook my head, "Y-yeah... Uh, right." To my surprise I felt a soft and small hand hold onto mine, Sidney's fingers intertwined with mine. It gave me feeling of security, as if I was complete. As cheesy as it sounds, but it felt right.

"Wait." I stopped, "We're not gonna go in there without our weapons."

The Neighbor scoffed, "Give them the whip only." One of the men handed over the gummy snake to Ian.

"Gee, thanks." I said before facing the door.

"Ready, butt-nose?" Ian asked, smiling eagerly and reaching out his hand for me to shake. In his other hand was the assembled pieces of the key.

"You bet, bowly." I took it and we grinned at each other. Ian, even how much of a doofus he is, will always be my friend. Through thick and thin.

"Here goes." Sidney said, taking the key from Ian and placing it on the slot. Her other hand still held onto mine, holding it a little bit tighter than before.

Once the key was firmly placed, the sounds of stone grinding against stone was heard. The ground beneath us shook, some stalactites fell as the huge doors began separating, sliding into the wall and fully revealing what was behind them.

There was nothing but darkness.

"Move." The boss pushed the four of us in. We stepped inside, with the only source of light being the torch and the flashlight. Looking up front made it seem like the hallway was just a deep dark abyss.

Billy started trembling, "Please no monsters, please no monsters." He prayed, holding Charlie tightly.

"Please have some booze, please have some booze." Charlie chanted.

"There's gotta be some other torches here we could light." Ian said, who had separated from the four of us who remained in the center. We saw him walk a few feet from us since he had the torch in his hands. He moved it about and found a stone basin near the wall standing at least six feet, a little taller than Ian. It was made of three stone flamingoes, all of which were facing outwards, their heads were touching each other and on top of was a stone basin.

Ian stood on tip toes and touched the inside of it, "It's wet." He said before sniffing the liquid, "It smells like alcohol."

"Alcohol?!" Charlie exclaimed, "Can I have a sip?" He stuck his tongue out.

Ian rolled his eyes and dipped the tip of his torch in the basin. Fire emerged from it, bigger than the torch had, and it did not just stop there, the flames followed a streak of flammable liquid along the walls and lit another that was a few feet away from the first one. It kept on following the trail until there was light everywhere.

"And then there was light." He smirked. The chamber was not that large, but in front of us was a small corridor that leads deeper into the lair, illuminated by the recently-lit torches.

"Whoa." I said, "How convenient."

"This is some freaky _Indiana Jones_ shit." Ian sighed, "Now, what about those booby traps?"

"Booby Traps?" Billy joined in.

"Yep." Sidney nodded.

"I'm a boob, and I always get my head trapped in the toilet. Does that mean anything?" The boy tilted his head, petting the guinea pig in his hands.

The three of us just stared in confusion.

"Whatever." I brushed it off, "We need to know how to get past those things."

Sidney opened her book once again and searched, "There are no mentions of how to trigger and survive the traps here." She turned page after page, skimming through them until she reached a specific page. "Here's a sketch, but it only shows that there will be three."

The image on the book was like a rough sketch, smudged pencil drawing that it was almost impossible to spot the hidden words unless thoroughly examined: it showed three rectangles arranged like a block diagram, linked together by two narrow passageways: the second one was longer than the first. Drawn from top to bottom of the page, the first chamber was on top, with little details like the basins.

"May I borrow that? There must be at least a clue." Ian said, taking the book from her and checking it out for himself. "Maybe the labels mean something."

"They might, take a look at this-" I replied, reading the labels, "The ' _Pecking Chamber_ ' is first, where we are now. The next is called ' _The Way of the Flamingo_ '. The third is called ' _The Bridge_ '. And finally, the last one is where the treasure is, ' _The Flamingo Room_ '."

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" Billy said, taking a few steps forward, leading us into the chamber, "I wonder why they call this the ' _Pecking Chamber'."_

BANG! A giant flamingo head fell in front of him creating a loud deafening thud, burying its beak into the ground.

We shrieked, and the boy retreated, "No wonder." He trembled, "That was a close one. I think I peed my pants."

"Really? A giant pecker?" Ian said, watching the head rise back and fall again, "What could be worse than this?"

I shone the light up front, "A dozen of them." Our jaws dropped, at least eleven more giant heads began pecking the ground. And what made it worse was that they were moving, hitting everywhere.

"Okay, in the count of three, we run like hell." Ian said, readying himself. "Keep an eye on the pecking heads."

"Ready?" I asked.

"Bring it." Sidney replied.

We separated, each taking a point of entry: Billy ran to the far left of the room, Sidney took center-left, Ian took the center-right while I took the far right.

"GO!" Ian bellowed. We all ran, keeping an eye at the ceiling where the giant beaks shuffled randomly before it plunged to the ground. Every drop shook the earth and bore a deep hole.

"ANTHONY, WATCH OUT!" Sidney bellowed.

And I felt one fall behind me, grazing my butt. "WHOA!" I jumped and touched my ass and felt a giant hole in my pants. _It's kinda cold around my balls now._

"Hey, you're still wearing my Spongebob boxers?!" Ian laughed from afar as he dodged the beaks.

"Well, they're comfy around the no no place." I said, rolling away from where I stood, narrowly avoiding the floor-shaking drop.

"Whoo! This sure bumps up my workout routine." Ian panted as he ran past more obstacles.

"Since when did you start working out?" I snickered.

"Screw you." He flipped me off, "First one to reach the end gets twenty dollars. You up for that?"

I scoffed, "You're on, bitch." I tiptoed past deep holes in the ground and rolled away from the pounding flamingo heads, doing some weird-ass stunt you readers can think of. But not those weird stuff some of you demented fans are thinking right now as you read this.

Then I saw it: the safe zone. The spot where it was untouched by the traps, it was a small place that has a small passage that leads to the next room. "Almost there." I said before launching myself off the ground to the finish line.

To my surprise, Ian had beaten me for the first time. _Well, not really the first time, he almost killed me back in Smosh Against Time. Remember? You didn't read that part? Oh, okay._

Ian cheered, "In yo face, biotch!" He stuck out his tongue, "Who's the slowpoke now?"

I sighed, accepting defeat, "Fine." I took out a twenty dollar bill from my pocket and handed it to him. We watched Billy and Sidney dodge, roll and do some acrobatic stuff, with Charlie screaming everytime Billy near-misses a plummeting head.

Then something caught my attention. In the corner of my right eye, a block was sticking out from the ground a few inches compared to the rest, looking really peculiar.

At first I thought that maybe it could be a switch, but it could also be a trap. _The hell with it._ I thought and stomped on the block. It sank into the ground, the falling flamingo heads ceased moving and everything fell silent.

"That was scary." Sidney sighed, making her way to where we were, "-and crazy."

"Believe me, things will get even crazier." Charlie replied, shaking off the dust from his fur. "Especially when you're with Ian and Anthony."

* * *

After that terrifying game of _red light, green light_ , we made it to the second room. The chamber, labeled as ' _The Way of the Flamingo_ ', had a huge framed image of two flamingoes on the floor, they were facing each other and the tip of their beaks touching, forming a heart shape with their necks.

"Let's move." Ian said, taking a step further.

The moment he stepped past the frame, the ground shook, and the floor beneath his foot cracked.

"Whoops!" Ian jumped back, and the small portion fell into a deep dark abyss God knows how deep, we didn't even hear a thud.

"Next time, try not to be cocky." I said, looking around checking the place that was only lit by the basins on the walls. It resembled the same room, the only difference is that it had a huge-ass painting of two flamingos.

"Let's try walking within the painting instead of outside." I said, moving to the place where the foot of one of the flamingoes were. I gently and nervously pressed my foot on the leg drawing, heart beating fast as I did so. Then the ground shook again.

"Seems like the picture will not collapse easily." Ian said, "So we have one thing clear, we must not step outside it. But the problem is, how can we get past it without completely destroying the floor?"

I unhooked my whip from my belt, "Maybe we could swing to the other side?" I glanced up at the ceiling, surveying the spot in case there was any way for the gummy snake to latch onto. Unfortunately, the were none, "Nope, swinging is not an option."

"How about we make a run for it?" Ian said before going on a sprint.

Once he crossed the border again, the floor rumbled, "IAN, STOP!" I yelled and he stopped, nearly being smacked away by a huge flamingo pendulum that suddenly swung.

Ian shrieked, "HOLY BOWLY!" He ran back to us, catching his breath afterward.

"I told you not to be cocky." I smacked the back of his head. The flamingo pendulum went back to where it came from, stopping between a small area between the walls.

" _The Way of the Flamingo_ ," Sidney recalled, "What could this mean?"

"Wow, they have good reception here." Billy pointed to the full signal dots on the display before gluing his eyes to it and browsing his social media, "Sweet! I got 1k followers!"

"Billy!" The four of us exclaimed, making him flinch. However, it didn't stop him from using his phone, he shrugged and went back to it.

"Come on, think." Charlie the drunk guinea pig looked up, in deep thought. "Since the first room's name is related to the actual trap, maybe this one is too."

"Hey guys!" Billy laughed, showing us his phone, "Connor shared this YouTube video of a couple of birds dancing, it's hecka funny."

"Now's not the right time for that, Billy!" I scolded.

"Better take a look at the video, lad." Charlie said, "Seems like Billy's onto something here."

I rolled my eyes and hesitantly watched the video: there was a group of flamingoes standing closely together and waddling through shallow waters, making small sliding steps and turning their heads side to side.

"It's called the flamingo dance." The boy said.

"That's it!" Ian suddenly blurted out, "Based on my super intelligent brain, ' _The Way of the Flamingo_ ' means the flamingo dance."

"So that means we dance like them?" I asked, "Like imitate them?"

"It's worth a try." Ian nodded his head.

"But wait... There's more- Whoa, I sound like an infomercial guy who desperately pleads people to buy crappy stuff." He chuckled, "It says here that the Flamingo Dance is like mating call." Charlie added, "That explains the two lovebirds on that painting."

"So two people must cross it-" I replied, looking at the wide room, "-while doing the dance?"

"Probably." His raspy voice cracked. "So we go in pairs."

"Fine. I volunteer-" Sidney said, "-Ian and Anthony to go first."

"WHAT?!" Ian and I looked at her in shock, "Why?!"

"Aww, go on, you lovebirds." She insulted, showing a mocking grin and wiggling her eyebrows.

Ian and I exchanged looks, we both just sighed and went to our respective places. I took the one on the left while Ian took the right, standing near the foot of the flamingo image.

"On the count of three we step forward." Ian shot a look at me.

"Alright."

"One, two, three." We both stepped on the foot at the same time, and luckily, the ground did not shake. "Let's dance. In five, six, seven, eight!"

We placed our hands under our armpits and moved them like chickens wings as our feet began inching quickly little by little, sliding on the dusty floor trying to imitate the flamingoes we saw in the video. "Now, we move our heads side to side." I said. Ian and I moved, looking left first then right doing it as we made our way to the end of the room. We felt like total idiots, hearing Sidney and Billy snicker behind our backs.

"How much further?" Ian grunted, still turning his head side to side, "I feel like my head's gonna fly off my neck."

As I did the same, I took glances at the end of the room where there was a narrow tunnel leading the the third room, "Almost there."

"I'm getting dizzy." Ian paused for a while, "I'm gonna puke." He placed his hands on his knees and took deep breaths of air.

"Ian, don't stop!" I bellowed as the floor crumbled again.

"That sounded kinda sexual." Ian began moving again, catching up and aligning himself with me. We were as close to being perfectly synchronized, _left, right, left, right_ , even the wing movements were similar.

We were near the head of the painting, in a few inches we're almost done, "Ian, I'm close!" I grunted loudly, feeling dizzy from moving my head side to side.

"Me too, I'm almost there!" Ian moaned in anguish.

We both reached the and at the same time, I fell to my knees and laid down on the ground. I stared up the dark ceiling as my temples throbbed and my vision swirled, disoriented and tired.

"Ian, Anthony! You alright?" Sidney called out. All I could do was give them a thumbs up.

I turned my head to the side and saw Ian, who was also lying on the ground and looking back at me, "So... how you... feeling?" I breathed, chuckling weakly.

"Never better, finally got that neck pain I've been complaining about for weeks fixed." Ian laughed, reaching for his dusty fedora that was on the ground.

I exhaled and shook my head slowly, "That last line sounded really sexual."

"I know, most ianthony fanfics have them." He shuddered. Ian sat up and dusted off the sand on his jacket, "There must be another off switch for this one." He looked around.

"Here." I spotted a small button on the ground like the one in the first room. I punched it down and a loud rumble was heard.

Once the three got across, we joined together near the entrance of the new corridor in front of us, aiming the beam of the flashlight inside to see the passageway: It was at least three times longer than the first one we got through, and it was dark, no torches hanging on the walls.

Ian took out a flare from his pocket and sparked it on before throwing it inside. We watched the red light of the flare. It did not hit solid ground, it just fell down. However, it managed to illuminate maze-like bridges that were only a foot wide, either side was a ravine.

"So this is the bridge." Ian said, "So... What's the catch in this one?"

"Best way to find out is to get in there." I said, my hand clutching Sidney's tightly, "Stay close."

"I'll lead the way." Ian said who was holding the torch.

I threw another flare in, it landed on a bridge. "Okay, slowly."

"Perhaps I could be of use too." Charlie spoke, "These guinea pig senses are good in the dark."

"Let me take Charlie, Billy." Ian said. The boy passed him the pet and Ian let Charlie sit on his shoulder. "Let's move." He said, looking at the ground. The torch only lit at least a foot radius. "Right now, you're our eyes and ears."

The crumbling of rocks under our feet echoed in the chamber as we slowly advanced deeper into the maze bridge. It was so quiet that I could hear my own heart beating.

"Make a left here." Charlie said. Ian turned to the left, the one up front was a dead end.

Then there was a loud crack from behind us. We turned around and saw Billy breaking small glowsticks then throwing them on the ground, "So we don't lose our way." We resumed walking, the only light being our torches.

* * *

Halfway there, we had navigated through various turns, nearly falling over the edge on one. "We're almost there." I said.

"Something's not right." Ian said, "It's too easy, there must be a trap here somewhere."

"Ian, it's best not to trigger them." I whispered. Then I felt my foot sink. I gasped then looked down: a block sunk deep.

 _Shit. I triggered it._

The floor rumbled and the narrow bridge began moving, as if they have a life of their own. The next corner in front of us was disconnected from the one we were standing. The ground underneath us shuffled, it was resting on a small mound of soil.

"Jump!" Ian leapt to another moving clay platform.

I looked at the other bridges and they were crashing against each other, shattering the edges and further making it smaller that it was almost impossible to get on to.

"Hurry!" Billy jumped after Ian who had just moved on to another one.

I scooped up Sidney and carried her, "HOLD ON TO ME!" I said. Sidney wrapped her arms around my back tightly and I leapt from our spot, making it just in time it distanced itself further from the next platform.

My breaths hitched as I jumped to another one. I felt my feet land near the edge, "WHOA!" I screamed, losing my balance and tipping back.

Then Ian grabbed my shirt and pulled me back.

"THANKS!" I exhaled.

"Don't mention it, now run!" Ian ran again and hopped on the next one. I glanced up front. _We're almost there, only two more bridges to cross._ Ian and Billy made it through, they leapt the the final block and were home free.

"Anthony, come on!" Billy yelled.

"You're almost there, bud!" Ian said, "You can do it!"

"Hold on, Sid!" I said, and she just held me tighter, "We're almost there."

Then the last block shuffled out of place, leaving a growing gap between us and the safe zone. The block we were riding further distanced itself from Ian and Billy.

"ANTHONY, JUMP!" Ian bellowed.

I glanced at Sidney who was holding on for dear life, "Anthony, you can't jump that!" She looked up front as the huge leap up front.

"We can!" I pushed myself to the limit, sprinting as fast as I could as the block moved away even more, "Almost there!"

"We're not gonna make it!" She screamed.

"YOU ARE!" I yelled.

Then I felt myself kick off the edge of the block, launching myself into the air and towards Ian and Billy. Suddenly, it felt like time slowed down, I heard gasps and yells echo in the chamber. With one last act, I threw Sidney to them.

Ian caught Sidney in his arms before glancing back at me, "ANTHONY!" He screamed, watching in horror as I fell down the deep dark ravine.

The last sounds I heard were their screams.


	15. Chapter Fourteen - The Golden Flamingo

**Ian Hecox**

"ANTHONY!" I screamed, watching in horror as my best friend disappear down the dark ravine, his screams faded out, ANTHONY!" I felt like I was about to explode.

"NO!" Sidney cried, "PLEASE GOD, NO!" She sobbed, her whimpers were louder than mine almost like a wail that bounced off the cave walls. She walked closer to the edge, poising herself to jump after him.

I handed the torch to Billy and grabbed her, "Sidney!" I yelled, wrapping my arm around her belly as she struggled to break free.

"LET ME GO!" She punched my arms, "I'M GOING AFTER HIM!" She screamed, "Let me go!"

"S-Sidney, please!" I sobbed, holding her close while urging myself to remain strong, but it was impossible _._

"NO!" She continued to fight, "NO!"

"P-Please!" I stuttered, not loosening my grip around her. Sidney gave up struggling, broke down and collapsed to the ground on her knees. I kneeled then hugged her tight and cried with her. "It's gonna be alright." I lied.

It felt worse than a punch in the gut, it was like a piece of me died inside. My chest tightened by the immense feeling of loss and grief. He may be my best friend but it was more than that, like we were connected through blood, like brothers.

 _My video partner..._

 _My roommate..._

 _My best friend..._

 _Is gone._

 _"_ I didn't even get the change to apologize." She weakly mumbled, her voice cracking. She laid back on my shoulder as I rocked us back and forth, trying to ease the pain. There was no stopping the tears from rolling down my face, feeling my eyes swell with it.

Billy slowly looked over the edge with Charlie on his shoulder, "D-Do you see him, Ch-Charlie?" The boy stuttered in his low, weakened voice.

"No." The guinea pig sighed, trying to calm himself down.

"Damn it, Anthony. Why?" I mumbled, bowing my head. The atmosphere turned dead quiet the minute I stopped talking, and the high-pitched ringing came to our ears. The silence only added to the feeling of sadness that all four of us shared. Sidney was curled up to me while I still rocked back and forth.

There was at least a minute or two that no one uttered a single word.

"What do we do now?" Billy sniffed, breaking the silence.

I slowly looked up at him and saw his eyes also welling in tears. "A-Anthony would have pushed forward if he was here." I replied, "We do it for Anthony, we prevent The Neighbor in getting his hands on the flamingo." I scratched my head, feeling my body like jelly, too depressed to go on without my friend.

 _We must do it. For him._

"How can we fight him back?" Billy asked, "He took all our weapons, and Anthony had the gummy whip with him."

"I wouldn't be worried about that." I smirked, going down on one knee and pulling up the pant leg revealing the wooden hilt of my rock candy lightsaber in my sock. I pulled it out and detracted the plasma blade, creating a loud hum and illuminating the place with blue light. "I knew it would come in handy."

"Nice." Charlie chuckled.

"But before we go." I took off my leather jacket and ripped off both the sleeves of my dirty white long-sleeved undershirt and tied it together to both ends of my jacket. I still have hope, _Anthony might still be alive._

"What are you doing?" Sidney stood up.

"I'm not giving up on him. He could still be alive." I tightened the knots and saw a glimmer of hope in Sidney's eyes. "Billy, give me your sleeves." I said and the boy didn't hesitate to give up his jacket and sleeves. After connecting them together, we were able to make a line of at least three meters in length. "Sidney, tie up one end of this line to the base of that statue-" I said pointing to the nearby flamingo statue made of clay, its legs were stuck to the floor. "-then we drop this down for him to climb up on."

One end was secured to the thick base while I bundled up the other before walking towards the edge, "-Anthony, if you can hear me, we're dropping a line for you to get up on." I said. Without any further hesitation, I tossed the makeshift cloth rope down and watched it unroll down the dark ravine.

Sidney knelt down near the edge looking over it, she bit her lip, forcing a weak and hopeful smile, "Anthony," she finally spoke up, her voice amplified by the walls, "-if you can hear me..." She gulped, "I love you."

Billy, Charlie and I shared a look what most girls would be like after someone confesses something really romantic. We were like, 'Ooooooh!' silently complete with our hands over our mouths.

"We have to get that treasure before the neighbor does." Billy interrupted, still having a smirk on his face.

"Alright." I agreed, "Sidney, we have to go." I placed a hand on her shoulder.

She slowly stood up and faced me, wiping the tear stains from her cheeks, "Okay."

I took the lead, going in the small passageway that links the room to the last one, the one where the treasure is kept, the treasure we've gone through a lot to get our hands on.

Once we reached the end, we saw the chamber which was illuminated by the basins that was lit. It was larger than the previous ones we had gone through, it was shaped like a dome and was far more lavishly detailed: the walls had sculptures of events that depicted the construction of the room but are mostly about flamingoes and their way of life.

 _Damn, these people sure are obsessed with flamingoes._

Our jaws dropped, mesmerized by the place. It felt like it was paradise forgotten by time.

"Wow." Was all I could say.

There were four giant flamingoes standing on the sides, their necks serving as the support for the dome and their heads pressed together looking down at the floor. There was a beam of light coming from the center of the heads, shining down on a small table made of stone where a shimmer of gold was seen. My heart leapt with pure bliss. _We found it._

 _The Golden Flamingo._

There it was, sitting on top of the table in its full glory. It was on a small mass of land as if floating above a deep dark pit that seemed endless, and the only means of getting to it was a long, narrow bridge.

"Oh my God." Sidney gasped, "I never thought I would see it with my own two eyes." She laughed in pure amazement, her hands covering her mouth. Her expression was more than happy, her joy was so contagious that we laughed with her.

"What are we waiting for?" Charlie spoke up, "Let's get it, poofs!"

"Alright, but keep an eye out for suspicious objects that could trigger traps." I said before taking the first step, waving the blue blade around to light the way. "Everyone hold hands." I grabbed on Sidney's hand with her taking Billy's. "Slowly and carefully."

I stepped on the mass of land that was only two feet wide, doing it as cautiously as possible by sliding my foot on the surface afterwards. We were all doing it together, linked like a train. I could only hear the hum of my blade as we traversed the bridge that brought us closer to the treasure.

"Don't look down." I said, "Just look forward, at the flamingo." Cold sweat dripped down my face while keeping at straight eye at the shimmering treasure. My hair was damp under my fedora, and my shirt was drenched in sweat and reeks really bad.

* * *

We got there eventually after a few close calls, we were standing in front of a few steps that leads to the center where the treasure was. I looked around, searching for any traps that could go off.

"Stay here. I'll go first." I said, preparing my weapon then taking the first step up the platform. I held my breath as I gently pressed the tip of my shoe on the ground followed by lowering the heel on it. Nothing happened, to my relief. I did it again this time with my other foot. Nothing.

"WHOA!" Billy yelped, making me freeze on the spot and clutch my lightsaber tightly.

I turned my head to him, "What?" I mumbled, frustrated and shocked.

"The people who built this sure knew interior decoration." The boy stared up the ceiling, eyes wandering about amazed by the sight.

I sighed then kicked my shoe off my foot, hurling it towards the boy and hitting him squarely in the face. Billy shrieked. "Next time it's gonna be my lightsaber!" I threatened.

"Sorry!" He whimpered, rubbing his aching forehead.

I rolled my eyes and carried on, walking up a few more steps before ending up facing the prized artifact that sat there that had remained undisturbed for centuries...

Until now.

I stood there observing every detail of the golden flamingo on the stone table: it was made of shiny solid gold that reflected my image. From head to tail there were feathers crafted on the entire thing, making it look hyper-realistic, like it was a real flamingo dipped in gold paint. Its eyes were made of black diamonds that stood out of its overall golden color. It was beautiful, it felt like I would just die of amazement right now.

"It's beautiful." I said, still staring in awe.

Billy and the others rushed up the steps and joined me, surrounding the flamingo, each letting out their expressions of amazements.

"This is it." Sidney took a deep breath. "Thank you, guys," she kissed the Billy and I on the cheek then pat Charlie's head. "Without you this wouldn't be possible."

"If Anthony was here he could've kissed you out of excitement by now." I said, meeting her gaze. She giggled the cutest way possible, "What? It's true. Dork almost kissed me when we got to make our own movie."

 _Thank you, writer, for the ianthony jokes._

"So, how do we do this?" She asked, preparing her bag for the treasure.

"I've watched a couple of _Indiana Jones_ movies lately, and according to those films, there will always be a booby trap that will be triggered once we take that thing off its resting place." I scratched my beard. "We need to inspect every nook and cranny of this table to make sure we don't start anything bad."

I looked at the small pedestal at the center of the table that the flamingo was resting on and saw a small, peculiar gap between it and the table.

"Here, see this?" I told them, pointing to the gap. "Once we remove this thing, the weight will disappear and that thing will rise up and set the traps off."

"So what we need is a counter weight?" Billy asked.

"Exactly." I nodded.

"Where are we gonna find one?"

"I already have." I smiled.

"Where is it?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm looking at it right now." My mouth slowly curved into an evil smile.

"M-me?" Billy pointed to himself, shocked.

"Uh-huh." I nodded, "You just need to sit on top until I find a substitute."

"Fine." The boy hesitantly agreed.

We surrounded the flamingo once again, with Billy climbing up one edge of the table, preparing to take the place once the treasure has been removed.

"On the count of three, I take this off and you sit down." I placed my hands firmly on the flamingo, "Ready?" I asked and Billy nodded, "One, two, three!"

I snatched the flamingo from its pedestal, and the loss of weight caused it to slowly rise up from where it was and trigger a thick slab of clay to slide down and block our only entrance. Billy quickly took the flamingo's place and sat on it, making it sink back down to its original place and pulling the door back up.

"That was close." Sidney sighed.

"I feel like a hen laying on her eggs." The boy nervously chuckled.

I turned the treasure that was as big as any other lawn flamingo in my hand, seeing it in full detail. "Wow, this is one pretty heavy flamingo." I said before handing it to Sidney who stuffed it in a rucksack she had in her satchel.

"We need to find a heavy rock so we could get Billy off of that." She said.

"I dunno, Billy looks good on this pedestal." Charlie said, who had climbed down the boy's shoulder, "He looks like a sad gargoyle."

"Ha ha, very funny." Billy stuck out his tongue.

"Enough with the childish play and let's find a rock to get him out of there and bring this back to the museum." Sidney said.

"We must hurry before the-"

"Well, well, well..." A voice echoed from the passageway as The Neighbor stepped in the chamber followed by his three henchmen. "...it looks like you've finally found the Golden Flamingo." The man smiled, the fires from the torches reflecting on his blue shades.

"Yeah, so?" I mocked.

The Neighbor walked across the bridge and onto the land we were on. We stepped back, with me putting Sidney behind my back. He then detracted his red crossguard lightsaber and twirled it around, "That flamingo... It belongs to me."

I raised up the hilt of my weapon and ignited it, letting the blue blade extend upward. I readied myself for the inevitable.

"Come and get it." I said, before charging at him, clashing my blade with his and creating a bright purple spark where the two lightsabers hit.

The Neighbor broke free from the link and slashed his weapon at me. I quickly ducked and watched the red beam of plasma fly over my head. I stood back up and blocked his second strike. Loud crackles came from our blades as I kept him at bay, feeling the warmth of the swords against our faces.

He was stronger, far stronger than me especially with his three-bladed lightsaber. I retreated as he advanced, he was gaining the upper hand. We clashed again, but this time he used the crossguard blade to slice my shirt open.

"Whoa," I shook my head, looking down at my torn shirt that opened up and exposed my bare chest, "-that's a close one."

He swiped upwards but I blocked him, but the power of the blow disoriented me. I stepped back once again but continued to duel him even though I was outmatched.

"Sidney, get behind Billy!" I yelled as the goons surrounded us.

"GET OFF!" Sidney climbed on the table and kicked the men trying to reach for the treasure. Billy also hit the men with all he got.

"Fuck you, retards!" Charlie began shooting lasers from his eyes once again, it was missing the goons but was keeping them preoccupied.

The neighbor brought the linked blades near my neck. The warmth of it was intense that sweat uncontrollably flowed down my face. I screamed upon feeling a burning sensation on my shoulder, his crossguard blade was scorching me. It was painful, I screamed louder, it was unbearable. With my last ounce of strength, I shoved him away before swinging at him only to be counteracted by his blade.

With one twirl of his blade, my lightsaber flew out of my grasp, sending it flying across the chamber. The blade detracted back into the hilt as it lost contact with my palm. I watched in horror as it flew towards the door.

Only for it to be caught by someone standing in the dark corridor.

We only saw the person's hand that gripped the hilt tightly. All of us were startled by the sudden appearance of the mysterious man. He brought down the hilt and ignited it, illuminating his face and letting us get a glimpse: checkered red, button-up long sleeves, red cap, and overall Hillbilly look.

 _Benny Jean._

We all gasped. Benny Jean held the weapon close to him as he gradually stepped out of the dark having a fearless smirk on his face.

"Y-you." The Neighbor uttered, taking a few steps back and unable to believe his eyes.

"Leave them out of this, damn Neighbor." Benny Jean snarled, staring at his archenemy with his eyes burning with anger and hate. The hillbilly rolled up his sleeves, "This is between you and me now."


	16. Chapter Fifteen - That Damn Fight

**Benny Jean**

The blade hummed against my ears and glowed bright blue while I held it close, feeling the heat of it against my face. I took steps closer towards the narrow land bridge that leads to the center of the chamber. On the other end of the bridge was where my opponent stood, brandishing his unconventional crossguard blade that burned fiery red. We both stared into each other's eyes that seem to have the same intention:

 _To fight the other._

"Ian, protect the others and the treasure," I said, "The Neighbor and I are gonna have a little chat."

My enemy smirked then motioned for his men to forcefully take the treasure in the sack the girl was holding. Ian immediately ran back to the center of the stone table where Sidney, Charlie and Billy were at, racing the other goons there. Red beams began firing everywhere from the guinea pig's eyes, lighting the whole place in a red hue. Some lasers hit stalactites that broke off from the ceiling of the cave, raining deadly, pointed rocks.

The entire chamber rumbled as large debris fell.

"I heard you're after the Golden Flaminger," I scoffed, my voice echoing, "I have the strangest feeling that you'd use it against me... I can't let that happen now, can I?"

The Neighbor never said a word.

"Hmph, I figured." I said, "You're giving me the silent treatment... As always."

"So, we meet again, Benny Jean." He replied.

"HOLY SHIT, HE SPEAKS!" I jumped, this was the first time I heard his voice, "You sound funny."

He then twirled his weapon, his mouth slowly curved into a smile as he readied himself. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the Force flowing through my veins as if someone was gently running the tip of their finger up my arm and onto my shoulder.

"You can do it, Benny Jean!" Someone interrupted, massaging my shoulder.

I glanced back to see Cletus running his hands up my arms, "GODDAMMIT, CLETUS!" I swatted him away.

"What? It helps ease the tension." He smiled, "So you could have good flexibility when you fight him." He pinched my arms then my shoulders.

"Get off!" I raised my voice, he backed away, took his hands off of me, "Damn idiot." I shook my head and turned to the neighbor, bringing up the blade. "Right, come on, yer good for nothin' damn neighbor!"

The Neighbor began running on the bridge and towards me, his lightsaber lighting his path red. I ran at him as well, sprinting as fast as I could getting a good grip on my sword. Our steps were loud as we drew nearer, both of us waiting for the moment we'd clash. I took a deep breath and yelled out loud, then swung my blade at him.

There was a brilliant flash of purple light.

There we were, swishing and slashing with every impact creating a loud crackle, battling with all our might, all the while keeping our balance as we teetered on the narrow land mass, trying to avoid falling over and into the ravine.

We locked blades, both trying to push the other off the edge. I pushed upward while he pushed downwards, the bright sparks of light emitted from the linked swords. The neighbor was strong, forcing me to my knees while I blocked him. The hilt in my hands trembled from the stress the enemy was putting.

I looked up at the neighbor who was forcing me down, he was grinning, the light of the sabers reflected in his shades and partially revealing his sinister eyes behind it. He brought the blades closer to my face and I turned away from the beams that almost touched my cheeks.

"You were always weak." He muttered, letting out a low growl. I grunted, holding him back as long as possible, "There's no chance you can beat me."

I pushed back the lightsabers away from my face, "I can beat yous," I kept a confident smirk, "-because I have something yer don't."

He guffawed, "And what is that?"

"A friend." I shoved him away, disconnecting the blades and momentarily disorienting him, "NOW, CLETUS!" I ducked, then a ball of cinnamon flew over my head and hit the Neighbor squarely in the chest, sending him flying back and onto the center of the cave where the others were. He fell on the ground groaning in pain. "YEAH!" I cheered.

The neighbor quickly got to his feet as I advanced. Cletus shot more cinnamon bullets at the enemy but was fended off by him, however, the exploding spice created orange clouds around the Neighbor, blocking his view fully.

"GO!" Cletus yelled.

Fueled with anger and excitement, I ran, arming myself with my weapon. The smoke cleared and the enemy emerged from it with his lightsaber drawn, prepared to take a hit.

We clashed once more, engaging in a fierce duel. He rolled the hilt in his hand, spinning the laser crossguard around and nearly chopping my hand off. I jumped back and stood mid squat, waiting for him to make the move. Then, he pounced, bringing down his blade at me which I swatted off with my own, but he was persistent, he threw a punch at me with his free hand.

I spat blood from my mouth, feeling my cheek numb from the blow. I glared back at the neighbor and wiped the dripping blood from my chin, "You like playing dirty, huh? Two can play at that game." I landed an uppercut to his face, he moved back, clutching his chin and grunting in pain. He then slashed and I bent backwards and saw his sword slice off the visor of my hat.

"HEY! THIS WAS MY FAVORITE HAT!" I touched the burnt tip.

He just smiled in such a way that it made my blood boil even more.

"I hated that hat." Cletus butted in.

I placed my foot on the neighbor's chest and kicked him away, "Aren't you supposed to be helping the others?" I said, "I'll be fine, just go."

"Okay." Cletus saluted then went off to the aid of Ian and the others.

"Now," I cracked my neck, "Where were we? Oh yeah!" I let out a battle cry and charged at the enemy, bringing my sword up high before slashing it down. He fended it off.

And the battle resumed.

 **Cletus**

I ran past Benny Jean who resumed his duel with the Neighbor and went up the stone steps towards the center where two people and a guinea pig were standing, with the little furball shooting lasers from his eyes. Five henchmen surrounded them and tried to get close, only to be warded off by the blast. I pointed my gun at one of them, taking a deep breath to get a better aim. My finger reached for the trigger, I was ready to fire.

But then I saw bright flashes of light and heard lightsaber hums to my left, Ian was battling against three other goons. He brought down the first then wrestled the hilt from his hand to hold off the other, all while avoiding the third man's shots from his gun. I then set my sights on the sniper and shot him in the back, he fell face first on the ground unconscious.

Ian glanced at me, who was still busy with the other opponent, "Thanks Cletus!"

"Don't mention it." I said.

"Go help Sidney! They need you now more than I do!" He bellowed.

"Okay." I tipped my hat and focused on the five men at the center. I open fired and hit one, "COME ON, YER GOOD FER NUTTIN' PRICKS!"

They glared at me and fought back. I ducked behind the steps, crawling alongside it like a soldier in a foxhole shielding myself from the bullets. There were explosions, flying debris and flashes of bright light.

The men kept firing where I was at, unbeknownst to them that I had left the spot, now following the curve of the steps going around them. Upon reaching an area far enough, I stopped there, waiting for my time to jump.

The sounds of their guns were suddenly silenced, I only heard the lightsaber whirs in the distance. There was a ceasefire, _They noticed._

 _Perfect. Right on schedule._

"Where did he go?" A goon said.

 _The moment has arrived._ I cocked my gun and stood up.

"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!" I went apeshit and fired, catching them by surprise. One got knocked out while the rest ran for cover.

"Great shot, poof!" Charlie remarked.

I hid back down and moved around the place.

 **Ian Hecox**

All of us gasped in shock upon seeing Benny Jean make his epic entrance. He stood there at the other end of the chamber holding my lightsaber looking all badass and shit. He treaded closer to the bridge never breaking eye contact with the Neighbor.

"Ian, protect the others and the treasure," He ordered, glancing at me then back at his enemy, "The Neighbor and I are gonna have a little chat."

I nodded then ran back to the center where Billy sat at the center of the stone table, his weight forcing down the part that would've set off the trap. Standing behind him was Sidney who was clutching the sack the Golden Flamingo was in. Charlie sat on Sidney's shoulder shooting lasers from his eyes everywhere, hitting various areas of the place and turning them into crumbling debris. Although it created a small perimeter around them preventing the goons from getting any closer. The ones who were able to were kicked away by the two.

I ran up the steps that led to the center, ignoring the stinging pain all over my body and the difficulty of seeing through my swirling vision. Some of Charlie's laser beams flew past me while I ducked from the others.

"HEY! ASSHATS!" I yelled. The eight henchmen turned their heads at me, "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

"Like... _you_?" One of them hissed. Three of them surrounded me, preparing their weapons. Two of them were holding lightsabers while one was aiming his taquito gun at me.

"Oh shit." I was unarmed, no other weapons to defend me from the oncoming men.

 _Holy shit, I fucked up._

But I kept a firm stance and said, "Come on."

The man with the gun decided to make the first move, he shot out a cinnamon bullet from his gun but I dodged it. Then another attacked, twirling his red lightsaber before slashing it. I jumped out of the way then charged at him like a raging bull, knocking him out of balance and pinning him to the ground. We both fell, but I managed to get up quickly.

Then there was a loud buzzing sound behind. I moved out of the way and saw a yellow lightsaber jabbed at me grazing the side of my shirt.

 _I missed death by an inch._

I caught a glimpse of the man who was holding the blade before he pulled back and slashed again, he missed again and this time hit the stone ground. I wrestled the hilt from the other guy's hand.

My sweat-covered fingers felt for the button and ignited the red plasma just in time to intercept the yellow blade of the other guy. While dueling him, I moved side to side, avoiding the third goon who was aiming for me with his gun and the falling rocks. It was tiring, more intense than the previous battles we've gone through. I backed away as fast as I could avoiding bullets from the gun while still fending off the lightsaber attacks.

In the distance, Benny Jean and the Neighbor were squaring off in a brutal sword fight like ours. Adrenaline rushed even more, heart raced even faster and breaths became shallower.

 _This shit's really tough_.

Thehenchman with a gun was suddenly shot by a cinnamon burst on his back. The look on his face was a mixture of shock and anger as he fell on the ground unconscious. Standing behind him was Cletus holding a taquito gun with the end of its barrel smoking.

 _That's one problem solved_.

"Thanks, Cletus!" I said as I dodged the attacks from my opponent.

"Don't mention it." He nodded.

"Go help Sidney! They need you now more than I do!"

"Okay!" Cletus tipped his hat then turned at the other men and began firing at them. The goons faced him and fought back. The hillbilly got on his belly on the ground, using the elevated steps as cover and crawling alongside it, making it hard for them to hit him.

Everyone had their hands full. It was chaos, an all out war inside the flamingo room.

I kept on fighting, slashing, twirling and blocking with all my strength. My opponent was persistent, there were no signs of him backing down.

 _I'm not backing down either._

It was then that another goon wrestled me to the ground and pinned me down before punching me in the face. The world around me shook. I tried to break free but the other man stepped on my other arm, trapping me for good.

The unknown attacker pried my hand open to take the handle and landed another punch. My entire face was numb from all the bruises, I could hardly see from my swollen eyes, but one thing's for sure: I was watching helplessly as my opponent maliciously played with his plasma blade.

"Not so tough now, are ya, punk?" He taunted.

I spat out blood, "Funny, h-how you guys n-never p-play fair." I said, words piling on top of the other.

The man holding me down laughed while the other circled around me. "Now, you die." He raised up his blade, the look on his face had a thirst for blood.

He brought it down and I just turned away, waiting for my end.

I felt nothing.

But I heard a loud crackle.

I opened my eyes and saw the yellow blade hovering inches above my face. It was stopped by another lightsaber.

A green lightsaber.

I looked at who it was: the savior stood there holding the sword firmly with a smirk on his face. The green light from his sword lit his face, and the first thing I recognized was his _ugly butt-nose._

 _Anthony._

"Sup, dude? Miss me?" Anthony smiled then swatted the man's weapon away from my face. He shoved him away then kicked the others holding me down in the face, setting me free. He reached out a hand, "You alright?"

"Dude!" I took his hand, he pulled me up and we shared a hug, "How?"

"Hmm," my friend grinned, "Let's just say that this little fella had me hanging on for dear life." He lifted up his jacket and showed the partially-destroyed gummy snake whip. "Way to go on that makeshift rope you guys did."

"I knew it, you're alive! I dunno why but I just know it!" I sniffed, tears of joy flowing down my face glad to see that my best friend alive and well.

"Ready to kick some more ass?" He asked, holding out an extra hilt.

I gladly and eagerly took it, "Hells yeah." I turned it on and a bright purple beam detracted.

"It's Billy's, I'm pretty sure he won't mind you using it." Anthony shrugged.

"Oh well." Both of us pressed our backs against each other as the two henchmen approached us brandishing their lightsabers. We began fighting again, alternating hits at the two opponents, as if following a smooth and steady rhythm while fending off their attacks.

"Ian, duck!" Anthony yelled and I did what I was told, he swung above my head and met the yellow blade of the enemy, while I swiped up blocking the other goon's red saber. Anthony and I were like one, thinking of the same moves and counterattacks to use and having each other's backs.

"Time for the big finish?" I asked, putting my other hand on my waist and forming it like a handle.

" _BFF Roundhouse kick_?" He asked, cracking a joyful smile and I nodded, "Lead the way, bowly." He looped his arm through mine and formed a chain-like link between us, like formation of a square dance.

"Gladly." The men attacked again, and we just stood there. "Wait for it..." I kept calm, waiting for that moment to arrive. The charged from opposite directions. "Wait for it..." Then everything slowed down half a second in my head, "NOW!"

Both of us slashed as hard as we can on queue. I saw my weapon, given by the immense amount of force, knock off the henchman's from his hand and sent it flying far away. I glanced at my friend who had managed to do the same, "GO!"

We spun on the spot and raised a foot, aiming for each other's enemy. We both yelled and kicked hard, both watching in amazement as our feet met their faces, knocking them out for good. Anthony and I landed feet first on the ground, unable to believe we had done it.

"Alright!" Anthony cheered.

"Best. Move. Ever. High five!" We high fived.

"Three down, five to go." He looked up at the center where we saw Cletus shooting at the men who were hiding. "Let's go." We ran up yelling, getting the goons' attention. They immediately stood up and cocked their guns. Hundreds of bullets shot out of their barrels, hurling straight at us.

Remembering some _Jedi_ moves, I twirled my lightsaber in front of us, in doing so slashed the bullets and preventing it from hitting anyone. Anthony did the same, we kept advancing, the cinnamon bullets exploding upon impact with our weapons.

The ensuing distraction had Cletus suddenly emerging from his hiding place and shooting at the men, and he was able to take out all of them.

We stopped running to catch our breaths as all eight henchmen have been dealt with.

"That was crazy." I said, beaming at Anthony and Cletus, "Good to have you back."

Charlie stopped blasting and glanced at us. His jaw dropped, "A-Anthony?" His raspy British voice croaked. Billy and Sidney looked at us and their jaws dropped as well. _It was like they had seen a ghost._

"Heya." Anthony waved.

Sidney climbed down the table and ran at him leaving Billy and Charlie. Her eyes glistened with tears as she threw her arms around him, "ANTHONY!" She sobbed, tightening her hug, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

"I guess I have nine lives, heh." He scoffed, gently swaying her in the hug. "Hey, you found the treasure!"

Sidney pulled away and raised the heavy satchel, "Yeah." She smiled.

"So I guess our work is done then." Anthony nodded. "You found what you've been looking for."

"I think it's far from over," Cletus interrupted, "I hate to ruin the moment but Benny Jean needs our help."

 **Benny Jean**

The floor underneath our feet cracked as large chunks of rock fell from the ceiling. Lightsabers slashed, blocked and struck, there was no stopping the intensity of the battle. Bright flashes of light came from every impact of the two opposing blades along with the loud buzzes.

The swords crossed paths again and we both pushed towards the other, the light from it almost blinded me. My heart leapt to my throat as I desperately pushed him back. I felt my enemy sliding back and saw the fear in his eyes. I kept pushing, yelling, using all my strength to bring him down.

Then he tripped on the stone step and fell over. I walked over to him, "Stay down!"

"Never!" He stood up and slashed which I held off with my sword, "You will never win." The Neighbor taunted as he climbed up the steps.

"Let's see who'll have the last laugh." I snarled, "-and it appears that your men are out for the count." I had a gloating smile upon seeing Ian and the others emerge victoriously from the fight, all of the Neighbor's men are defeated.

He looked behind him and saw the horrible sight, he was the last man standing. He glared at me and screamed before pouncing again. But I caught his sword wielding hand, forcibly took the crossguard saber from him then kicked him in the chest, he fell down.

I raised the blue plasma blade near his chin, "Come on, Neighbor. Is this what we've really become?" I said, "Trying to kill each other for a damn flamingo? This is too much."

He stayed on the ground avoiding the tip of the burning sword.

"As much as I hate yer, I don't wanna end up killing yer." I sighed, "That's not what neighbors do, even if yer a damn nuisance." I rubbed the bridge of my nose, "Look, it's just not worth it. That Golden Flamingo is not worth it, although it'll make such a fine addition to our own collections."

"Benny Jean?" Cletus grabbed my arm, "Let's just go."

"SHUT UP, CLETUS, I'M MONOLOGUING HERE!" I bellowed. "So here's the deal, Neighbor," I detracted the weapon and reached out my hand, "I'll let you steal my lawn flamingo every once in a while, we go back to the old days, no more bullshit like this." I said, "I know it's a lame deal compared to the wiping me and Cletus out of the face of the earth thing, but really, once we're gone no one will chase you down, no one will shout swear words at you, and no one you can make a complete idiot out of. We need each other, without me your life is meaningless."

"That's the gayest thing anyone has said." Ian mumbled.

"So..." I offered my hand, "-Rivals? I was gonna say 'friends' but y'know, we're totally not."

The Neighbor shook my hand and I pulled him up. Everyone cheered.

"Holy shit! It's almost eight!" Anthony exclaimed, showing us his watch, "We have exactly five minutes before the party starts!"

"What are we waiting for?" I said, "Let's go!"

All of us scrambled back out of the chambers and emerge out of the entrance behind the Hollywood sign. Time was not on our side.

"Hurry!" Ian said, "Oh my God, Ryan's gonna kill us."

"We can use the van." The Neighbor said, running up the hill and back to the parking garage.

"Wait!" Sidney stopped us halfway up, "I have a feeling we're forgetting something."

"What?" Anthony asked, "Did you leave the flamingo behind?"

"No." She showed the bag around her shoulder.

"Oh shit." Both of Ian and Anthony's eyes widened in shock, "BILLY!"


	17. Chapter Sixteen - Ten Years of Smosh

**Courtney Miller**

The moon rose up higher in the horizon as it turned darker, the streets of Los Angeles were packed even more by cars and pedestrians alike. Driving through traffic was no joke, especially when I've got four noisy doofuses with me in the car: Shayne, Olivia, Noah and Keith. Olivia sat on the passenger's side while the three boys were seated in the backseat.

"Are we there yet?" Olivia groaned, playing with the glove compartment.

"Not yet." I sighed, keeping my eyes glued to the road swerving past cars.

"I'm hungry." She rubbed her belly.

"What are you, five? Am I supposed to buy you a Happy Meal or something?"

"I-If that's okay with you..." She shrunk in her seat and made a child-like face.

"Did someone say happy meal?" Noah stuck his head between us, "I want one too!can I have the _My Little Pony Princess Celestia_ Happy Meal, please?"

"I want _Rainbow Dash_!" Shayne blurted out.

"But I want Rainbow Dash!" Keith spoke up. Then things got noisier, the tight space of the car were filled with mindless arguments and screams. It was too loud and annoying, it was getting into my nerves.

I stepped on the brakes and the car came to a complete stop on the sidewalk, "Everyone shut the fuck up! You guys are a bunch of babies!" I yelled, silencing them, "One more Goddamn sound," I looked at each and every one of them, "I swear to God, I will throw all of you out of my car!"

Then my phone rang.

 _"_ WHAT?!" I practically screamed at my phone.

" _Ow!_ " Ian's voice said from the other line, " _Too shouty, Court! Are you on your period?_ "

I gasped, "Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else, heh." I laughed in the most awkwardly way possible. "So what's up?" I went back on the road driving along Jefferson Boulevard.

" _You with the squad?_ "

"Yeah, they're here with me. Sadly." I rolled my eyes.

" _We need your help again. You guys near YouTube Space_?" He asked.

I turned left, "Uh huh, taking the turn on Campus Drive " I replied, "What about you guys?"

 _"Erm, that's the problem..._ " He weakly chuckled, " _We're gonna be at least half an hour late for the party._ "

"WHAT?" I exclaimed.

" _Would you please stop hollering at me?!_ " He screamed back, _"-and put it on speaker so the others can hear, Jeez._ "

I changed the mode to speaker, "Okay, Ian, you're now on speakerphone."

" _Good."_ He said, " _Hey guys_."

"Hey." We all greeted.

" _Okay,"_ Ian cleared his throat, " _So we might turn up late for the party..._ "

"WHAT?!" The others bellowed.

" _ARRGH! WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE STOP SHOUTING?! IT'S MAKING MY EARS BLEED_!"

"SORRY!" Noah raised his voice.

 _"GODDAMMIT, NOAH!"_ Ian was losing his cool. There was a slight pause before he spoke up again, " _We need your help again. Can you cover for us? Just for a teensy weensy bit until we get there?"_

"Sure thing." I said, "Like another distraction?"

" _I dunno, maybe make a scene or something to buy us some time."_ He said, " _Like what you did back in the Library earlier today._ "

"Fine, but please hurry. If Ryan or the bosses find out, we're screwed." I said worriedly.

" _Okay, now if you'll excuse me I gotta take the wheel from Anthony right now, he drives like a Granny._ "

" _Am not!"_ We heard Anthony shout.

" _Three old ladies went past us! And they were walking on the street_!" Ian argued. We tried holding back laughter hearing the two argue.

" _You have no idea how hard it is to drive a manual._ "

" _Bye guys,"_ Ian said, " _We owe you a lot - ANTHONY! JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN WHEEL!_ " He yelled, " _Oh wait, Courtney?"_

"Yeah?" I answered.

" _Do you still have the Power Glove with you?"_

"Yeah. It's with us in the trunk, why?"

" _I'll need it later. See you at the party._ " Then he hung up.

We were fast approaching the place where the party will be held. I made the last turn to Bluff Creek Drive and drove into the backyard parking lot where we spotted a couple of cars there: Ryan's and the Smosh Games'. After parking, we stepped out and got to see the building at night.

The small yard in front of the main doors had a pair of small coconut trees planted nearby along with a small red helicopter displayed on the left at least a few feet from the entrance. Right above the glass panels serving as its walls were huge letters built on top of a small roof:

YOUTUBE SPACE

The lobby of the building could be seen from outside through the glass windows, where there was a huge screen facing a set of tables and chairs.

Upon stepping inside, I felt like a kid who's living the dream, not only was there a giant-ass screen in front of me, but there was an arcade inside, a photobooth, and my favorite: a friggin' chocolate fountain. Everything was Smosh-themed, from the arcade prizes to the food on the table.

"There you guys are!" Flitz greeted, "Come on, the guests are coming." She said as we heard car doors closing from outside. We turned around and saw a group of people, it was Link, Connor, George Washington and ManSpider.

"Okay, so there are still a few." Keith sighed, "Maybe it won't be so many of them, and besides they said they'll be late for only thirty minutes."

As if right on cue, five more cars parked on the lot. Countless people began flooding the reception area. Some are other famous YouTubers and some are faces I've never seen before, probably the fans living nearby or Ian and Anthony's other friends.

"Shit." I mumbled, pushing the others to a corner, "We gotta do our stuff."

"Courtney!" Mari called out, "Have you seen Ian or Anthony anywhere?"

"Uh-I have no idea." I shrugged.

"Where the hell are they? I mean, it's _their_ own party!"

"Don't worry. They'll be here." Olivia interrupted, "You know, they're pretty busy individuals."

"Couldn't they just lighten up for one day?" Matt Sohinki joined in, "What? Are they in a secret mission or something? On a treasure hunt?"

I scoffed, "Heh. You have no idea. Hey - uh, if you'll excuse us, we need to film some squad vlogs." I smiled.

"Oh yeah, we also need to film a Game Bang too." Mari suddenly realized and tugged on Sohinki's elbow, "C'mon, we have to get to the others. See ya, Court!"

"Kay kay!" I waved goodbye and the two disappeared in the crowd and started chatting with the other guests they bump into. "Now," I took a deep breath, "So how do we keep the guests entertained while those two dorks are not yet here?"

"Well, I'm completely stumped." Shayne said.

"They'll probably enjoy themselves with all the things around here, don't worry about it." Keith laughed.

"Everybody, listen up!" Ryan Todd's voice came from the speakers. All eyes were now on him.

"Keith, you better just zip your mouth," Noah said, "-'cause it seems like whatever you say, the exact opposite of it happens."

"Okay." He bowed his head. We all switched our attention to the speaker standing on an elevated platform beside the large screen.

"First of all we would like to thank you for all for coming to celebrate with us the tenth year of Smosh." He raised up a bottle of beer. Everyone cheered and raised their cups in the air.

"We gotta move now, I have an idea." Olivia said, "Shayne, gather up as many food you can on the table. Keith, you and I are gonna find two tables to set up. Courtney, tell Ryan that we want to do a special skit before Ian and Anthony goes up on stage."

"What do I have to do?" Noah asked.

"You, my thin, sickly and adorable friend, are gonna prepare your throat... It's time for a segment of _Put it in My Mouth."_

"Seriously? I just had my petite throat flushed with distilled water!" The bespectacled man whined.

"Quit your yapping and just do it!" Olivia scolded, "Everyone clear about their respective tasks?" She asked and we all nodded our heads, "Good, let's move."

We split up, Shayne rushing to the table grabbing whatever food he could get his hands on. Olivia and Keith going in the storage room where there were folded, unused tables. I took Noah with me and ran to the front of the crowd.

"Alright!" Ryan said, "Without further ado, please welcome the main dudes themselves, Ia-"

I tugged on his shirt, interrupting him, "Hey, Ry, can we do a small skit just to entertain the guests?"

Ryan wrinkled his forehead and moved the microphone away from him, "What? We don't have time for this."

"Please? We wanna do it for them." I pled like a puppy craving to be petted.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, "Fine."

"Thanks!" I pinched his cheek and motioned for Noah to come forward. I took the microphone from Ryan's grasp, "Okay, everybody! We, the Smosh squad, would like to perform a small skit for you guys. Heh." I let out a small giggle. The looks on the audience's faces were like interested and confused, but were somewhat scary. They looked like the kind of crowd that are hard to please. I walked on the small elevated platform in front of the large screen. "Do you guys know Noah's show _Put it in My Mouth?"_

"Yeah." They replied flatly while the others were chatting to the others, having no clue what the hell's going on.

"Well, tonight we're gonna be doing exactly that." I raised my voice in excitement, "I would like to invite the rest of the squad, Noah, Shayne, Olivia and Keith to come up the stage!"

The crowd applauded while the others whooped as my friends joined me at the center. Olivia and Keith were carrying tables and set them up in front of Noah who looked way paler than he was before. Shayne had a bag with him and set them on top before digging his hand inside.

"For this special episode," Shayne said, "Noah will be eating three different foods." He took out a box and placed it on the table, "First is a Vegan burrito."

"Yum!" I said. Noah looked the least enthusiastic.

He then took out a jar filled with orange stuff, "Korean Kimchi."

Noah was on the verge of vomiting by the look on his face.

He looked inside before reaching for the last food, "And the last is his favorite." Shayne had a sarcastic smirk on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"G'day, mate! Here is a jar of _Vegemite_." Shayne spoke like an Australian while he took out the small jar.

"Ooh, I bet you're gonna love that one." I commented and Noah glared at me.

"Forks please!" I said and Keith handed me one. "You can do this, Noah" I said, hanging him the spoon.

"Whatever." He sighed and took a small chunk of the Vegan burrito. He brought the fork to his mouth and caught a whiff of the smell, his reaction was indescribable, it was like he was having the worst day of his life. "You guys owe me a lot."

I snickered, "In the count of three, Noah will put that thing in his mouth." I said, "One... Two..." The audience counted along, "Three!"

Noah closed his eyes and forcibly ate the chunk. We all eagerly watched at his expression while he chewed on the food. His face contorted, his eyes remained close and trying to move the bits around in his mouth. Then he gagged, but he was trying not to.

"Swallow it! Swallow it!" The guests chanted.

" _That's what she said_?" I shrugged.

He trembled as he took a big gulp, and then showed his tongue, it was gone. We cheered while the others applauded louder. The next food was a bit easy for him since he loved kimchi, so he just ate it like a pro.

"For his last food: The dreaded Vegemite." I said, bringing up the small jar filled with black goop-like substance.

"YEAH!" They yelled.

"Oh God." Noah frowned.

Then my phone vibrated, I let the crowd go wild cheering for Noah while I glanced at my phone. It was a text message from Ian:

 _The Smosh has landed._

 _That's by far the worst homage to a Neil Armstrong line._ I smiled and put my phone back in my pocket to finish the show, "C'mon, Noah! Do it, do it, do it!"

The audience shouted louder. Keith took a spoon and scooped a large amount of the spread from the jar, "Here comes the airplane that tastes like shit." He laughed, bringing the spoon to his friend's face. At first, Noah turned his head away, but after a lot of convincing, he slowly opened his mouth.

"Oh, come on, wider!" Olivia said.

Noah looked at me as a tear flowed down his cheek, he managed to utter, "I hate you guys." before shoving the entire spoon in. He shook his head violently trying to ignore the bad taste, tried swallowing but he couldn't. He closed his eyes and breathed out, playing with the goop of a food in his mouth.

All of a sudden, he snapped and ran to the nearby trash bin. He dunked his head in and spat out the vegemite.

"SHAME!" The people mocked.

"Thanks for the show, guys!" I playfully said, "Now please give it up for the main dorks themselves, Ian and Anthony!"

The crowd went even wilder than before as the spotlight shone on two men walking up the small platform beside the screen. The two guys winced at the bright light but were both sporting a wide smile, they were wearing casual clothes.

 _Smosh has entered the stage._

 **Anthony Padilla**

Loud music blasted in the air, a very familiar Smosh tune, it was an instrumental of _Ultimate Assassin's Creed III Song_ we wrote three years ago, and it is still considered as one of the best Smosh songs to date. Ian and I walked up the small balcony to face the cheering audience as the spotlight shone on us.

Ian and I waved at the people while humming to the song. _Best song ever._

I was overflowing with joy, it was like receiving a very special award for the achievements we earned in the ten years of making videos. YouTube has been kind enough to throw us a party here in their event center. I couldn't believe it, I thought making videos was just a one shot deal, but look at us ten years later, Smosh has become one of the biggest channels on the internet.

Ian turned to me, "Well, my video partner-slash-best friend, we made it, we really outdid ourselves."

"I can't believe how one stupid lip sync video skyrocketed us into YouTube stardom." I said. "We really made it."

Then the gigantic screen turned on behind us. We glanced at it and saw a huge Smosh logo edited with a number 10 on top of the letters M and O fade in near the top of the display. It was then followed by a montage of our old videos, beginning with the now-deleted _Pokémon lip sync_ video of us in my old room back in Carmichael. We laughed seeing younger selves goof off in the video. Ian still had his mushroom top haircut and I still had my old, straightened emo flap.

Reminiscing those days made me sniff and hold back tears, the time when we would get into trouble for being too noisy when making videos, the part where Ian was almost arrested for _almost_ public nudity in the park when we were shooting 'Life as Ghosts'.

 _Sweet memories._

Courtney gave us two microphones, one for each of us. Ian pulled her a little closer, "Thanks for holding up for us." We whispered.

"Nah, it's no big deal, and besides, we got to see Noah in pain." She laughed, "Congrats, guys." She said before shushing the people.

The noise died down, and the next thing we knew all eyes were on us. Everything fell silent, only the sound of the bustling streets outside was heard. I took a deep breath, feeling my panic attack beginning to trigger once again. My fingers trembled and palms became sweaty, my heart pumped faster, the tension rising to my throat. I always fear public speeches like these.

I looked through the crowd, searching for a familiar set of eyes that would always bring comfort to me whenever I stare into them.

Then I found it, near the right side of the room among the audience. Bright emerald green eyes that stood out of the rest was looking back at me, it was absolutely beautiful that it made my heart melt with pure bliss. _Sidney's eyes._

She smiled at me, wider than usual, she was proud of us. I beamed at her, gaining confidence through her assuring smile. She mouthed, _You can do it._ Just by looking at her made me feel like I could conquer the world.

"Anthony?" Ian said, "You alright?"

I sighed and grinned at my best friend, "Never better."

"Alrighty then." Ian spoke up first, his voice amplified through the speakers across the room, "So... Hi guys, thanks for coming," he awkwardly waved, "-first, we would like to thank YouTube for throwing us a party here in their headquarters and for helping us since the beginning, without them we would just be two idiots with a camera."

The audience laughed.

"Secondly," I added, "We would like to express our gratitude to our film crew and also our friends for helping us in making these videos that you people enjoy, or not really but at least watched." I laughed.

"Joke's on you, haha!" Ian scoffed. "Lastly, wow, this speech is all about thanking," The two of us looked at the cameraman filming us, "Thanks to the Smosh fans all over the world, you guys are the best, it's because of you guys we are now here today."

"We owe it all to you, the fans," I said, winking at the camera, "-that we are able to do the things we love which is entertaining you guys, bringing smiles to the viewers, and happiness to your lives. You guys will always be in our hearts. Thank you."

A round of applause emanated from the crowd along with loud whistles and cheers, all of them were cheering, and some had tears in their eyes.

"So how about we get this party started?!" I asked. They cheered and the music turned louder. We then stepped down the stage, met with the squad and Smosh Games and greeted them with hugs and handshakes.

"You guys! I'm so proud of you!" Mari embraced us.

"Aww, thanks, Mari." We hugged back. The others pat our backs and rubbed our heads.

Everyone was having the time of their lives, Benny Jean and the Neighbor were settling it through a small game of air hockey, with the neighbor leading by a point. Billy and Charlie were by the buffet, the guinea pig getting drunk while he swam in a glass of wine and the boy shoving as much donuts as he could in his mouth.

"Well, my brother, let's have some fun." I said.

"Thankfully Sidney's a girl and was able to conceal my bruises or else Pam would freak out." Ian touched his face.

"Speaking of Pam, look over there." I said, motioning him to look around. He spotted his date by the photobooth waving at him, she had dark hair as short as Ian's, and is wearing a pair of glasses. Her figure is somewhat skinny but had curves.

"Pam!" Ian yelled, pushing me aside then running to her.

"Hey Ian!" Pamela greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and a hug, "I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks!" He pulled away.

"Hi Anthony!" Pam waved the moment she saw me.

"Hey!" I beamed, nodding my head as a sign of greeting. Ian took his girl's hand and they stood in line for the photobooth.

Then, out of nowhere, my mind thought of Sidney.

I walked up to Billy whose head was inside a box of donuts, "Hey, Billy." I greeted, patting his shoulder.

Billy turned around, his face was covered in chocolate and strawberry frosting, "Oh, sup, Anthony?" The boy's propeller hat spun, "These donuts are delicious." He said with a mouthful.

I chuckled, "Eat as many as you can, until you collapse from diabetes. Oh by the way, have you seen Sidney?"

"She's outside by that helicopter thingy." He pointed outside while adjusting a brown bag hanging on his shoulder, "This bag's really heavy."

Sidney was standing right outside the door, all alone and not even talking to anyone. She had changed out of her previous dirty outfit into a more, party-wise casual clothes, a pair of dark brown jeans matched with a small-ish dark brown jacket over her olive green tank top.

I took the bag that was around the boy's shoulder and made my way outside, heart beating fast as the distance between Sidney and me shortened by the second. I stopped a few feet behind her, right where I could hear the noisy crowd behind me the least.

The moonlight showed her curves, her scarlet red hair being blown the the cold breeze, she was staring up at the sky, mesmerized by the twinkling stars and the moon.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" I said, leaning on the small red helicopter exhibit, trying to be cool and shit.

"They are." She replied without looking at me.

"What are you doing out here? The party's over there?" I asked, taking a few steps closer.

She exhaled, "I need some air, gaze at the stars, and think back on all we have been through." She scoffed. The instant she turned around to face me, our eyes met quickly. It was the most beautiful pair I've ever seen.

I placed my hands in my pockets and walked up to her, "I figured, I haven't been honest to you lately and we haven't properly introduced."

Sidney giggled, and I couldn't help but smile.

I held up a hand, "Hi, I am _Anthony Daniel "Danger" Padilla_ , the taller and more buff half of a YouTube Channel we call ' _Smosh_ '. You can call me Anthony, Ant, Antonio, Danger, Smoshidiot, Padilla Tortilla, Butt-nose, the six pack sexy beast... or anything you like."

She laughed, then placed her hand on mine, "Nice to meet you, Butt-nose. My name is Sidney Camille Bredouw Ackerman, head curator of the Los Angeles Museum. You can call me Sidney, Sid, Nee, Cam, Bookworm, or Miel."

I gently kissed her hand, "Nice to get to know you, Miel. You know what? I love the name Miel, I'm gonna call you that from now on."

Sidney's face turned red, redder than a tomato for exaggeration. "So what do we do now?" She stepped closer, her breath brushing against my chin.

"I would like to present a gift for the lovely lady." I unzipped the bag I had and took out a large and heavy solid gold flamingo. _The Golden Flamingo._ "Funny how this thing caused us all the trouble." I held up the treasure between us.

She giggled then took the flamingo into her hands, "Thank you, my good man." She did a courtesy bow. "Wow, after all these years, we finally got it."

"Yeah." I playfully answered, "You know, I remember that you said something to me when I fell down that pit." I grinned, looking deeply into her eyes that was very inviting, "Can you say it again? I didn't understand it clearly."

Sidney couldn't control her smile. It was then that I noticed that our faces were less than a few inches apart. She slowly and clearly muttered the words that sent shivers down my spine,

"I love you."

"So you love me?" I laughed in the most unconvincing way, "Really?"

She just made a soft "Uh huh." as she bit her lip and looked down.

"Well, here's what I think."

I pulled her chin up then traveled the last inches between us, eagerly waiting for that moment to come. Then it happened. Our lips finally met, hers were exactly the way I had imagined it: soft, warm and full of love. My heart skipped a beat, it felt like it was gonna explode the second we kissed, thumping louder than it would usually do. My mind was going crazy. It was like fireworks had gone off inside my mind.

Sidney kissed back, never holding back anymore, letting her emotions fly while her hand made its way to the back of my neck gently caressing my hair. As we kissed, my thoughts played out memories of us meeting for the first time and immediately getting along together, going through ups and downs and many more. These two days were the best, not only did it lead us to the long lost treasure...

...but it also led me to _her_.

She then pulled me into a deeper kiss, and it sent shocks throughout my entire system. We had been waiting for this. It was just the two of us outside, sharing the moment we both wanted. Sidney wrapped her arms around my neck as I slowly dipped her, feeling a smirk form on her lips while I did it.

We both pulled away to take a breath if air. I pressed our foreheads together, never breaking eye contact with each other.

I scoffed, cracking a small smile, "I love you too."

We pulled each other for a tight hug, we never wanted to let go.

"That's my boy Anthony." We heard Ian say. My best friend was standing near the main doors with Billy behind him, "Congrats, you're no longer a miserable dork you were before."

"Way to ruin the moment, dick." I jokingly said.

"Why, thank you." Ian said in a posh English accent.

I noticed him wearing the old _Power Glove_ on his right hand, "Why are you wearing that thing?"

"Oh, this?" Ian brought up the glove, "Well, if you can still remember, the 2014 Ian and Anthony are coming next week, and it's time to set the events of that into motion." He said, "We have a lot of things to do, my friend."

Then I recalled the point we went _through time_ to November 18, 2015 because Teleporting Fat Guy told us that the future is falling apart. It began with the Smosh house being left in ruins, Ian and I in a fight, Ian doing some _things_ , and the rest is history.

"Oh yeah, we should get going." I said.

"You stay here, spend some time with her for a bit." Ian said, "Right now, Billy and I are gonna head over to Sacramento to begin 'thrashing' the Smosh house and rehearse some lines so things fall right into place. One mistake could destroy the universe."

"Alright, you might need Molester Moon, Sgt. Anous and his partner for that." I advised.

"I see." He nodded his head, "Come on, Billy, time for a ride."

"What about Charlie?" The boy asked.

"We'll be back before you know it. Trust me."

"Okay." He playfully walked with Ian past us.

"See ya later, dude." Ian bid goodbye, squeezing my shoulder.

"Yeah, you too." I pat his back.

"Take care, you guys!" Sidney said.

"Since when was I careful?" Ian laughed. We watched the two walk to the parking lot before selecting a car parked among them. Then their vehicle started, but it was a very odd sound for a car. It sounded like a jet.

Then a flying _DeLorean_ hovered out if its space and above the cars.

I grinned upon seeing it, it was like Deja Vu seeing that old jalopy flying again.

"Is that a DeLorean?" Sidney asked.

"Yes, yes it is." I held her close and she placed her head on my shoulder.

Ian and Billy were inside, waving goodbye to us as their vehicle gained height. Then it began accelerating forward, going through the dark blue night sky. The coils of the car began glowing bright blue as loud crackling sounds and sparks came from the front.

Then in one flash, the DeLorean was gone.

"So..." I beamed at Sidney. "How about we go inside to party?"

She pecked me on the lips, "Frick yeah."

* * *

 **And that, my friends, is where the fourth book ends.**

 **So, what do you think? Was it as good as the trilogy? Obviously those who have read the original trilogy will get the references. XD**

 **Tell me what you think. I sure hope you guys liked it! Haha**

 **Rank the four stories from worst to best if you please. :)**

 **-Migz**


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